I thought that i should add as well in regards to Him taking all of our deaths as well:
10 years ago i developed scizophrenia, but as i have told doctors if Moses was in today's time and stated that he had went on top of the mountain where God is and heard His voice from a burning bush...well i wonder what sort of label you would have given him, so needless to say my faith knows that for whatever reason i can see and hear the spiritual realm. Now when this occurred it started with several visions of the Lord on the cross as God spoke to me in my spirit about it. And then unfortunately the enemy came and i say unfortunately not that he came but that he is the enemy, you will understand in a moment. As time passed God had made my heart of stone so tender that i wept and grieved in my spirit for the enemy in so much that one day i took it upon myself (prideful i know now but didn't mean it as such) but i took it upon myself to give up not just my life but my gift of eternal life from the Lord as a sacrifice so that blasphemy of the Holy Spirit would be forgiven. So one afternoon sitting in the middle of a pasture i took 2800 mg of zoloft and 540 mg of a nerve pill called inderal. As i sat there waiting i watched the sky and the cattle grazing and after about ten minutes i thought well i guess this isn't going to happen so made my way back to the car and then drove to the nearest gas station fear now setting in and thoughts of perhaps i don't want to do this after all. When i walked down the second of three aisles to go to the bathroom to purge myself i noticed one man in the middle of the first aisle and a second man at the beginning of the first and then the cashier behind the glass filling out paperwork.
And just when i was halfway down the second aisle i heard clearly "Straight to the heart", and that is when God took me..... Where He took me and understand it was as if i was there to witness i could not respond in any way, but it was a place that was a darkness in which NO LIGHT had ever been, and it was void, and it was nothingness. I felt as though it was eternal as well, and then God gave me the understanding that "I" no longer existed...and i say gave me because i truly no longer existed and that is when He thankfully brought me back. When i returned i was shaking as if coming out of a seizure, and i had vomited all over myself and around me. I shakily got onto my feet and it was then that the man in the first aisle got startled for i guess i had been like a jack in the box, and it was then i heard very clearly from the enemy "I can't believe she did it!". I looked then confused and found that although i felt as i had been in that place for at least a half an hour to 45 minutes looking now everyone was in the exact same position as if only a second occurred. So i was convinced then that that "place" which i am certain now was the second death was eternal, and yet He was there and brought me back... and for His incredible mercy, grace, forgiveness, and love i will be forever grateful, and i cannot wait until Jesus comes back so that i may be eternally in His presence praising and worshipping Him to show that gratitude. Now do not trouble yourselves as to worry if i will ever try to place my hand to my own life again for I WILL NOT...for to me that would be as if to spit in His face for the gift He gave me to come back.
Now the reasons i did such a thing was A) to show the good Lord that i understood of His cross and how much i loved and appreciated Him and His cross. And B) So that blasphemy of the Holy Spirit would be forgiven not because i was necessarily a worthy sacrifice NO but so the Lord and God not in this age or the next, which i believe is the millenium reign of Jesus and the sealing of Satan for a thousand years (very different from this age is it not?). But at the end of that age when every knee will bow and every tongue confess that He is the Lord and then without so much as moving an inch they recieve their judgement from the Father as in fire that engulfs them from heaven above. And i was hopeful being a sinner, a partaker of that evil Spirit of Satan that where i was reborn and recieved all gifts that only He deserved and more such as mercy, forgiveness, and grace... I could not grab up the Lord's salvation and then turn to say but NOT for that creation Father when i was had been a part of it understand? So i hoped that my cross would be enough that they would consider forgiving the enemy and they would be reborn as well, for Satan will never be found in heaven and cast into the lake of fire and this is the second death. I know now though that there was no need for not only is He there in the second death but His being there shows me that He died not only in the physical body but the spirit as well for blasphemy of THE HOLY SPIRIT would require a spiritual sacrifice would it not? He is there..... so i hope dear brethren that we do as we were instructed and pray for our ENEMY for he is the persecutor, and love THINE ENEMY....for if you say that was referring to only man, i did not see that in the footnotes.... And i would encourage that Jesus is coming soon for where He is the beginning Abraham with his son Isaac (the sacrifice) He is the also the end, which is to say Abraham was the beginning of what God was going to show us with His Son, and please do not think ill of me when i say He is the end for i showed His Son at the end of what God was showing us with a spiritual sacrifice....Amen
10 years ago i developed scizophrenia, but as i have told doctors if Moses was in today's time and stated that he had went on top of the mountain where God is and heard His voice from a burning bush...well i wonder what sort of label you would have given him, so needless to say my faith knows that for whatever reason i can see and hear the spiritual realm. Now when this occurred it started with several visions of the Lord on the cross as God spoke to me in my spirit about it. And then unfortunately the enemy came and i say unfortunately not that he came but that he is the enemy, you will understand in a moment. As time passed God had made my heart of stone so tender that i wept and grieved in my spirit for the enemy in so much that one day i took it upon myself (prideful i know now but didn't mean it as such) but i took it upon myself to give up not just my life but my gift of eternal life from the Lord as a sacrifice so that blasphemy of the Holy Spirit would be forgiven. So one afternoon sitting in the middle of a pasture i took 2800 mg of zoloft and 540 mg of a nerve pill called inderal. As i sat there waiting i watched the sky and the cattle grazing and after about ten minutes i thought well i guess this isn't going to happen so made my way back to the car and then drove to the nearest gas station fear now setting in and thoughts of perhaps i don't want to do this after all. When i walked down the second of three aisles to go to the bathroom to purge myself i noticed one man in the middle of the first aisle and a second man at the beginning of the first and then the cashier behind the glass filling out paperwork.
And just when i was halfway down the second aisle i heard clearly "Straight to the heart", and that is when God took me..... Where He took me and understand it was as if i was there to witness i could not respond in any way, but it was a place that was a darkness in which NO LIGHT had ever been, and it was void, and it was nothingness. I felt as though it was eternal as well, and then God gave me the understanding that "I" no longer existed...and i say gave me because i truly no longer existed and that is when He thankfully brought me back. When i returned i was shaking as if coming out of a seizure, and i had vomited all over myself and around me. I shakily got onto my feet and it was then that the man in the first aisle got startled for i guess i had been like a jack in the box, and it was then i heard very clearly from the enemy "I can't believe she did it!". I looked then confused and found that although i felt as i had been in that place for at least a half an hour to 45 minutes looking now everyone was in the exact same position as if only a second occurred. So i was convinced then that that "place" which i am certain now was the second death was eternal, and yet He was there and brought me back... and for His incredible mercy, grace, forgiveness, and love i will be forever grateful, and i cannot wait until Jesus comes back so that i may be eternally in His presence praising and worshipping Him to show that gratitude. Now do not trouble yourselves as to worry if i will ever try to place my hand to my own life again for I WILL NOT...for to me that would be as if to spit in His face for the gift He gave me to come back.
Now the reasons i did such a thing was A) to show the good Lord that i understood of His cross and how much i loved and appreciated Him and His cross. And B) So that blasphemy of the Holy Spirit would be forgiven not because i was necessarily a worthy sacrifice NO but so the Lord and God not in this age or the next, which i believe is the millenium reign of Jesus and the sealing of Satan for a thousand years (very different from this age is it not?). But at the end of that age when every knee will bow and every tongue confess that He is the Lord and then without so much as moving an inch they recieve their judgement from the Father as in fire that engulfs them from heaven above. And i was hopeful being a sinner, a partaker of that evil Spirit of Satan that where i was reborn and recieved all gifts that only He deserved and more such as mercy, forgiveness, and grace... I could not grab up the Lord's salvation and then turn to say but NOT for that creation Father when i was had been a part of it understand? So i hoped that my cross would be enough that they would consider forgiving the enemy and they would be reborn as well, for Satan will never be found in heaven and cast into the lake of fire and this is the second death. I know now though that there was no need for not only is He there in the second death but His being there shows me that He died not only in the physical body but the spirit as well for blasphemy of THE HOLY SPIRIT would require a spiritual sacrifice would it not? He is there..... so i hope dear brethren that we do as we were instructed and pray for our ENEMY for he is the persecutor, and love THINE ENEMY....for if you say that was referring to only man, i did not see that in the footnotes.... And i would encourage that Jesus is coming soon for where He is the beginning Abraham with his son Isaac (the sacrifice) He is the also the end, which is to say Abraham was the beginning of what God was going to show us with His Son, and please do not think ill of me when i say He is the end for i showed His Son at the end of what God was showing us with a spiritual sacrifice....Amen
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