Is it wrong to date?

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Sasha_L

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I've heard many Christians say it is wrong to date when you are younger than 18 years old, and that when you are over 18, you should only court for 2 years and then take the relationship further (dating).

I've also heard many Christians disagree with this. They say that if you really love someone and your relationship is pure and based on God's will, that age doesn't matter.

I am 17 years old now, and I have had many boyfriends before I was saved. I am saved now and was single when I was saved, and have been ever since. I met someone a few years ago, we became friends and he has now asked me to be his girlfriend. I want to do the right thing in the eyes of the Lord, so this is a bit confusing for me.

Was hoping to get your guys's opinion on this matter.
 
The bible does not discuss dating in the sense we know it now. I don't believe the concept existed back then as the cultural norms were much different.
Personally, as a person who did date as a teen, i think it's unwise. Dating, as a Christian, is generally intended to find someone for marriage. Since nearly all relationships that start in or around high school don't work, that means you are basically going into the relationship to be hurt.
Ideally i would suggest bypassing worrying about dating at your age. Or even as you get older. Learn what a Christian marriage is. What marriage is in general. What does it mean? What is expected of you?
Also focus on growing your relationship with God. Paul talks about his viewpoint on marriage (and i'm sure if he knew about modern dating he would say the same thing) that unless you 'burn with desire' then try to stay out of it. Because relationships are a distraction from your faith, more often than not. Time you could spend growing and learning are spent with someone else.
So in the end my suggestion is forget dating. Focus on growth and learning. Focus on school and getting yourself set up. If, during the course of that you meet someone that really blows you away (not just someone you like, but someone that stands out) then go slow. Be friends, take your time getting to know them. If things grow between you, then see how it goes. If it fades or he loses interest then you spare yourself a relationship that would have failed anyways. Just use wisdom, not emotions and feelings, to make good choices. And don't let the wrong motives creep in, which is very easy to do.
 
Is he a man of God whos willing to have a relationship that doesn't dishonor the Lord? Is he able to remain celibate and do it the right way? If so I would say go for it, but be serious and set boundaries'! You want something God can bless but also ask yourself if you need to learn to be alone and focus on your walk with God rather than just have a guy around all the time!?
 
Its not about wrong or not..
you should consider at what age you want to get married? (you're dating with hope you will get marriage right?)
Lets say you want to get married at 25.. now you're 17.. so, if you started dating now (lets assume you both still together until you turn 25).. you will date him for 8 years??? are you sure? i'm not saying its wrong or not.. but 8 years in a relationship very risk to make sin (sex for example).. No no no, i'm not saying you both will make that mistake.. just for an example ;)

I dont know whats your plan about marriage thing (at what age etc).. I hope you spend lot of time praying about that.. asking God about your (future) partner.. maybe he is the one? or maybe not? choosing the right man will save you from many heartache.. know his character too before you choose him as your partner.. can you accept his - character or will you change him to be like what you want??

You can see his character well by blending with his friends, on how he treat his family and friends.. He can put some act in front of you for a long time but not when he is with friends or family..

I'll praying you will choose wisely..
God bless you :)
 
Problem with the above post is trying to map out when you will get married. I had planned a few times in my life i wanted to be married by. 15 years after the first choice i made i'm still unmarried. I've missed a few points in my life i wanted to be married by. I think a more applicable version of what the above posted suggested is that if you are not interested in marriage then don't date. When you are sure you want to, and are Ready to, then that's the time to being more open.
 
Interesting.

Mine simply put is that, does he have a relationship with God? Im not saying he has to be some type of super spiritual, pray multiple times, goes to church every time the doors are open type of dude,...... but rather simply, does he love God at all and is that evident in his life.

If he has no relationship with Christ then at best you can remain friends and continue to live a honourable and faithful life towards Christ in the hopes he sees that and it invokes one of two reactions.

1) Now wants to know the hope that you have or
2) Continues to show no clear interest in the God that you serve

Wont take long to see those reactions
 
nowyouseem033 said:
Interesting.

Mine simply put is that, does she have a relationship with God? Im not saying she has to be some type of super spiritual, pray multiple times, goes to church every time the doors are open type of dudette,...... but rather simply, does she love God at all and is that evident in her life.

If she has no relationship with Christ then at best you can remain friends and continue to live a honourable and faithful life towards Christ in the hopes she sees that and it invokes one of two reactions.

1) Now wants to know the hope that you have or
2) Continues to show no clear interest in the God that you serve

Wont take long to see those reactions
Click to expand...

Why the crap are you promoting homosexuality?
 
Oh hahahaha!!!!! Just goes to show that im single and answering it from my perspective.. hahahahaha
 
Ascent said:
Is he a man of God whos willing to have a relationship that doesn't dishonor the Lord? Is he able to remain celibate and do it the right way? If so I would say go for it, but be serious and set boundaries'! You want something God can bless but also ask yourself if you need to learn to be alone and focus on your walk with God rather than just have a guy around all the time!?
Click to expand...
THIS.

What's his relationship with God? When he is so madly in love with Christ, he produces fruits. You can tell about someone by the fruits that they produce.

You want someone in your life...whether a romantic relationship or just a friendship....to be someone who treats you like a Daughter of the King. Boundaries are important, like Ascent said. I tell people this constantly....to set up boundaries.

I have a lot of thoughts on this, but alas, I slept through my alarm and need to get to work :x I'd love to shoot you a message.

You're loved!
 
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Thank you to everyone who replied to my thread. It really helped so much and gave me a lot to think about. Really appreciate everyone's opinions. You guys are making dealing with this situation so much easier.
 
Dating as 'wrong"? Humm...I was inspired to start praying as a young teenager for the one in whom GOD had in mind as a soul mate for me. I started praying at age 14. By age 17, i met her (although she did not know it at that time). She was only 14, but looked my own age because of her maturity. Yes, we double dated until she was 16 and then we single dated and was married two years later while I was in college and she had graduated from high school. We celebrate 40 yrs this year!
 
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