Is it a sin?

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nnlpheiooe

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So my parents are very... forceful. They think that just because I'm their kid I'm supposed to do whatever they say without question otherwise it's disrespectful. I don't really agree with this. And some of the things they try to make me do, they say that they're "looking out for me" and doing it for my own good. They never take my feelings into consideration. (I am currently 17 by the way, I'll be 18 in August). Right now they are trying to 1) force me to go to college- they say I don't have a choice and I have to take the SAT in case I wanted to- althought I've made it very clear that I do not want to go to college. I haven't made this choice lightly either. I've taken many years to figure out what I want to do, and I know college is just not right for me and I don't want to. 2) They're trying to make me go to tutoring, which I know isn't going to help me in any way. They're just making me go because they think it will. I've told them I don't want to, but no reason is good enough for them because they've already made up their minds that I'm going. I've even ended up in so much tears it gives me a headache because I really don't want to do either of these things but they're trying to force me to. Is it a sin if I simply refuse? I don't care if they ground me, cause I know they will. They always taught me that disobeying your parents is a sin from the ten commandments- but it never really says that. all it says is to honor them.
But its not just those two things either. I just feel like they're trying to control every aspect of my life. I've tried talking to my mom about this sort of thing, and she says "we let you make desicions sometimes. we let you go to school didn't we?" Note: I literally had to bed my parents to "let" me go to public school. My parents made me sign up for an AP class this year, I just shrugged it off tried my best anyways, and I started failing the class within the first month so I had to switch out. I honestly don't like being around them because they're so conrtoling. I actually wanted to do the pageant at my highschool this year, just so that i wouldn't have to spend as much time at home... but it costs money and i don't really have money to spend (because I've been saving my money so I can get away from them after I graduate) so my parents would have to pay for it... and I know they would, but I decided not to do it because they would just end up holding it over my head later as something else they "let" me do... I don't want a bad relationship with them, but I already don't like being around them. I feel like if they keep pushing me I'm going to snap. When I finally get away from them I'm not going to want to come back. Is that a sin?
(Also, I know my profile says I'm a male but that was an accident and it's too late to change it. I'm actually female by the way)
 
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"Right now they are trying to 1) force me to go to college- they say I don't have a choice and I have to take the SAT in case I wanted to- although I've made it very clear that I do not want to go to college. I haven't made this choice lightly either. I've taken many years to figure out what I want to do, and I know college is just not right for me and I don't want to."


And what do you want to do?
 
well like I've said, I've been saving my money for a long time, and I already have everything worked out. I have a friend who has already graduated and has a job, I would go to the state they live in, and find a job myself and we'd share paying rent. I know I wouldn't be able to find any kind of high paying job or anything but I don't really care about that as long as its enough, and my friend is making enough to make ends meet anyways because they're living there by themself currently. But yea anyways that's my plan, and I'm also working on a book series currently so... I'm hoping that will work out and if it doesnt, I'm also an artist, photographer, and I write music as well so whatever happens, i still have a fallback it would seem... but I really have a passion for writing and I don't think I'm too shabby at it anyways..
 
From my own experience, a job will leave you with little time and energy for doing what you like to do. Unless your find a job in your field. I think college is better as plan B (in case things don't go as you planned, and you should take this possibility into account) than getting a job and hoping that you will be able to sustain yourself and your dreams with that job.

It's not like I despise work, no, not at all. I just say that if your parents are willing to pay for your education then...probably it would be a better idea to accept this offer. You could go to a college that is far from your parents and you could chose to study literature or whatever is that you like most and are good at.
 
A) How can you both honor and disobey someone?

B) I know you won't want to hear this, but your plans are bad. So much could go wrong that you're not seeing. It's difficult to make 'just enough' without some form of education, even if it's a trade school instead of college.
What happens if your friend moves or changes their mind in 6 months? How will you support yourself then? Not on a minimum wage job.
And don't say it's not possible your friend would do that. You can't predict behavior or people. I've heard of a number of times that exact thing has happened to others.

Im not saying you should go to college. I didn't. Not everyone should. But I am saying don't make poor decisions because you're in a hurry. More often than not that leads to a Worse situation than the one you leave. I say slow down, think things through more.

Also, your 'fallback' jobs are not really fallback jobs. Every interest you listed is a competitive field, with a low rate of success. And if they do become successful it comes through years and years of work. Not really things you can rely on as a backup. Those are the jobs people need backup jobs For.

You may do well at one of these jobs some day, not trying to discourage you from going for them. Just hoping you will go about it in a wiser way. The bible does saw we are to be wise, and right now you're being rash and impulsive.
 
what about the tutoring thing? I know it won't help I don't even need it.. They just want me to because they did when they were in highschool. but I have tons of homework i need to do those days it would just be a waste of time really... i can barely get things done in the time that i have. do you think it would be sinful to refuse to go?
 
I don't think it would be sinful, I think it would be a shame (regrettable) to not go to college now that you are young and totally can afford to.

If I was your mother I would insist that you go to college. The one you want, just go to college.
 
Disobeying your parents, is dishonoring them. That goes against God's commandment to honor them. Honoring them means you obey them, and don't sass them. You're gonna be 18 soon and then legally you're an adult and can make your own choices. The theme I notice in your OP is "I" and "me". I think college would be good for you. If you have college credentials, you'll get better jobs. Employers don't just hire people because they can paint and draw. ANYBODY can paint and draw. Go to college and choose the area that you want to work in. Don't be stubborn and do it your way, because I guarantee it WON'T go the way you think it will. Include God in these decisions and you'll do just fine. Feel blessed that you DO have parents who want the best for you. Alot of kids don't..
 
its just for an algebra 2 class. my mom was never good at math so she just assumes I'm the same way
 
So, are you that good at algebra that tutoring bores you?

You never know enough. Come on, be an intelligent teenager and obey your parents. I am sure that when you will grow older you will thank them for the interest they had in you. Like blue_ladybug said, not all children have parents so concerned and interested to invest in their children' s future and education. Some because they can't afford to and others because they don't care about their children.

Your parents seem very wise to me. You don't know better than them because you don't have their ages. But they were at your age once and probably they too faced these temptations that you are facing right now. Getting tutoring for algebra is really a good thing. Unless you believe further knowledge is bad, which I hope you don't. Don't cut these good, healthy resources (that your parents provide you) from your life because you will regret it.

Like I said before, if you feel you want independence (which is normal at your age), you could chose a college that is far from your parents. But respect them and love them because these people really care for you.
 
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nnlpheiooe said:
its just for an algebra 2 class. my mom was never good at math so she just assumes I'm the same way
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How about finding a way to prove that you are better at it than she believes?

It is a tough situation for you, but tough times reveal our true character. Is your character revealing one who seeks to do right, even when it's difficult? Or as one who tries to find loopholes and ways out?
 
GuessWho said:
I don't think it would be sinful, I think it would be a shame (regrettable) to not go to college now that you are young and totally can afford to.

If I was your mother I would insist that you go to college. The one you want, just go to college.
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Not sure if it's any different in other parts of the world, but the way the United States education system and job market goes, college is not ideal for most. College now has bigger costs and fewer jobs afterwards. So a larger number of people are going deeper into debt, but not able to find work after graduation. So pushing for college is basically just encouraging debt and a job at a level lower than you went to school for.
 
To honour thy parents is to honour their wishes n thr word .remember god will be your strength help you with this as thy only want the best for you
 
Did she say she wanted to move in with her friend in another state? Guy? maybe?

That's another issue before the Lord...maybe your parents see more about what they want for your life than you understand? maybe they are trying to stop you from making a mistake? If I was them I would pressure you and if you get mad...youll get over it the next time you need a few bucks... If they are good and godly parents ...you better know that God wants you to obey them.
 
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