I stand with God, ..and in moments of twilight it feels like a dagger has piecer my heart because I dont understand why I do not fit into the regular form of a man that can love and be loved in return.. the wisdom in me from being alone is because being alone is agony, but in agony, wieght training.. Christ was emotionally abandoned in His life, it lead Him to find God in His heart as sustinace for a hug, or a hand shake.. instead of letting His flesh talk by gaining a relationship He then depended on God for His Love
Welcome and thank you for sharing! Seriously! Trials and testings, including loneliness, happen in our lives to produce real Christian Joy. God isn't happy with just getting us thru it. He want's us to overcome it! And gain ground from it. James 1:1-12.
As you read that passage you will see it is a joy that causes us to rejoice in the midst of trials; [Acts 5:40,41,16:23-25].
It is a joy that brings rejoicing because we can see thru the trials as I see you doing as well. [Hebrews 12:2; 1 Peter 1:7].
No matter what we suffer here [Both in the "CC" world and in the other one--smile] we shall see heaven. Just remember in your trek trials are never meant to produce anger or bitterness. A mature, overcoming faith will rejoice in trials.
And as you continue to stay hooked up with the Holy Spirit, he is not dependent on circumstances to deliver the full blow of joy. God is producing in you an "enduring" faith that includes joy but also ends in patience, and staying power! [vs.3].
God bless you richly for sharing...and nice to have met you!