You aren't the only one who would be prone to doing this. And such a well thought out letter would also have a schedule for progression of the relationship as well, right?
A most excellent idea, Cinder!! After all, I'd have to show him what a well-organized, capable and responsible gal I am.
I'm thinking it might go something like this:
"Dear Crush,
In order to help move along our developing relationship (that you are about to read about in the following dissertation, er, letter), I would like to humbly suggest that you approach our blossoming love (which I realize you know nothing about, yet) with the following plan:
1. Read novel (aka, love letter.) No skimming!!! It is pertinent to the development and engagement (did you just mention wanting to get engaged???) of our feelings that you read EVERY word!!! (Please.)
2. Please be sure to thoroughly study the appendix, bibliography, and intervention, I mean, introduction.
2. Don't die. Whether it be from laughter, boredom, or long-suffering, please survive reading about my affections for you.
Because if you did... that would greatly inhibit the progress of our relationship. Thank you.
P.S. Be sure to write me back!!!"