Ya know ... this is not a valid excuse why I cheated on my husband, ... however he came home at dinner time after having a few beer with his buddy and complained about different things that are bugging him right now like usual after he drinks. Of course he says really stupid stuff ... and he bbq'd but I didn't think the wings were cooked enough so I took over the bbq'ing as I wanted us eating thoroughly cooked food. Well there was a big blow out, how he wanted to cook for me but he's never good enough ... yada yada yada .. and I was not thinking that at all! My whole point was just that our supper was cooked right!! Then he goes into another room and bumbles really mean stuff under his breath but loud enough to hear him. He swears his head off, and at one point I heard him say "You ruined my whole _____ life!" Of course I blow up and tell him that he cannot handle his booze, he always has been this way! He used to drink A LOT more than he does now, but he is a mean drunk, period! His buddy Danny would come over EVERY single day that they had off, (they worked at the same place, same shift, same days off) and they would sit in the garage from like noon hour til after supper drinking, sometimes even straight through the night!! Then he would mentally abuse me EVERY SINGLE TIME he drank! I am this and I am that ... I don't even want to say half the things he has called me since even before we were married. He continually belittled me, even when I did not cheat on him. We got married in 2005. I would work and then sit here in the house with my dogs night after night, and my stomach would be really sick because I knew he was drinking all day/eve so I knew he would be coming in sooner or later to pick a fight. Many nights I would go to sleep only to wake up to him starting a fight with me while in a dead sleep ... or even have woken up at 3am to the stereo cranked to the max downstairs in our living room! He really is a great guy ... a VERY hard worker, a great supporter ... but I often wonder if this is why I fell into the arms of another man? I don't mean to say that was my excuse ... but something drove me to it!!!!! I wanted to leave so many times, but the next day when he sobers up he kisses my butt and is as nice as pie! I have spent many of a night at our local emergency department with bad nerves. Often they would call in the crisis team. My head has really been played throughout this marriage let me tell ya.
I know that I too am far from perfect, however the nights in the last few years before God when I did drink, I came home and went straight to bed because I didn't want to scrap with him.