I'm just trying to get a better sense of what's going on here.
Hi, Ricky.
I'm hoping beyond hope that "what's going on here" is somehow related to this poem that the Lord just dropped into my spirit as I was showering one morning as a spanking new believer in Christ. When I first received it, well, quite frankly, being new in the Lord and all, I had a sense of pride as if it had somehow originated with me. Now, 26 years later, as I look back on the same, I'm wondering if the Lord didn't give me this poem as sort of a blueprint for what He intended to do with my life. Anyhow, here's the poem (from memory...I've never forgotten it):
A Christian's prayer
Dear Heavenly Father up above,
One thing I ask: Teach me to love.
And not just those who love me first,
But teach me, Lord, to love the worst,
For they are blind and cannot see,
They need Your truth to set them free;
The truth I'd gladly teach them of,
If You would just teach me to love.
Sweet Jesus Christ, the Spotless Lamb,
I call to you, Lord, here I am.
If there's a brother with a need,
Please help me, Lord, to intercede,
And keep me from the hypocrites,
Who honor only with their lips.
Please let my heart be near to You;
Your hand upon each thing I do.
Oh, Holy Ghost, Who dwells inside,
Please take away my foolish pride,
And when it's gone, then in its place,
I ask of you, mercy and grace.
Remind me, lest I should forget,
How I mistreated Christ and yet,
He chose to die that I might live,
And thus defined the word "forgive".
Yes, Jesus Christ, the Risen Son,
Please look down on Your chosen one,
And fill me daily with Your Word,
So I might speak 'til all have heard,
That You're the Way, the Truth, the Life,
And when You come back for Your wife,
We'll all be joined in one accord,
Ready to go home with our Lord.
Amen.
I actually just had to withhold from bursting into tears as I remembered that poem so, again, I'm hoping that the Lord was showing me what He intended to do with my life when He gave me the same. If I had to place myself somewhere in that poem, then I think (contrary to popular opinion...lol) that I'm somewhere near the end of the third stanza in that God has pretty much dealt a death blow to my pride and in that I'm literally consumed with the desire to labor in the Lord's vineyard that I might help to seek and to save that which is lost via the gospel of Jesus Christ. IOW, I fully recognize that I've been "bought with a price" and that I'm not my own and, again, I simply want to live for the God Who purchased me with the blood of Jesus Christ and I know that that entails laying down my own life for others.
Anyhow, I honestly tell God often that I cannot even take another breath apart from Him and I know that I cannot get out of my present situation apart from Him nor do I want to. Again, my situation goes WAY BEYOND anything related to finances alone. If I was the richest man in the world by the world's standards and didn't know what God wanted me to do with my life, then I'd be the most miserable man ever born. I just want to live for God...however HE chooses fit, but I cannot obey that of which I'm presently unaware and that's what any "fears" that I'm presently experiencing are truly related to. IOW, I know that God can easily perform the miraculous...not only from the Biblical record which I believe, but also from much personal experience, but it's devastating to me to not know what my own heavenly Father wants me to do at any given moment in time. Right now, I'm basically just waiting upon His instruction and continuing to deal with any areas of my own character which He's previously revealed to me need dealing with. Beyond that, I simply don't know what else to do.
RickyZ said:
You do have gifts and the way you have presented things tells me you have a level of understanding few reach.
Most people whom I know want to return any "gifts" which I seek to share with them. lol. IOW, I'm not overly popular nor am I generally liked.
RickyZ said:
To achieve that without any real formal Bible schooling is a sign in itself.
Please don't take what I'm about to say personally because it's truly not aimed at you, but I honestly believe that God's definition of "real formal Bible schooling" and man's definition of the same are worlds apart. For example, in relation to Jesus' "real formal Bible schooling", we read:
John chapter 7
[14] Now about the midst of the feast Jesus went up into the temple, and taught.
[15] And the Jews marvelled, saying, How knoweth this man letters, having never learned?
[16] Jesus answered them, and said, My doctrine is not mine, but his that sent me.
[17] If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.
[18] He that speaketh of himself seeketh his own glory: but he that seeketh his glory that sent him, the same is true, and no unrighteousness is in him.
Although He seemingly had no "real formal Bible schooling" in that He "had never learned", Jesus's doctrine was pure in that it wasn't His Own, but that of the Father Who sent Him. Again, Jesus said:
"Then said Jesus unto them, When ye have lifted up the Son of man, then shall ye know that I am he, and that I do nothing of myself; but as my Father hath taught me, I speak these things." (John 8:28)
Jesus' "real formal Bible schooling" was directly related to being taught of His Father and not of any man (I do believe that Christ has given the gift of teachers to His body, so I'm not against human teachers in an overall sense, but simply suggesting that not all human teachers are truly of God because they're not and many of them are "schooling" the saints). Of course, Jesus' doctrine was perfectly in line with the written, revealed Word of God which He regularly cited and sought to explain to His hearers, but, again, He seemingly had no "real formal Bible schooling" by man's standards and, ironically, the ones who had the "real formal Bible schooling" and even "schooled" others were His most persistent and obstinate opponents. Now, that is not to be misconstrued as a blanket condemnation against "real formal Bible schooling", but it is meant to be a reminder to us that not all "formal Bible schooling" is "real" from God's perspective. I mean, think about what Jesus said here:
Matthew chapter 15
[12] Then came his disciples, and said unto him, Knowest thou that the Pharisees were offended, after they heard this saying?
[13] But he answered and said, Every plant, which my heavenly Father hath not planted, shall be rooted up.
[14] Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.
Jesus said that the Pharisees of His day weren't even planted of His heavenly Father and He labeled them as being "blind leaders of the blind". He was no less direct in His condemnation of the Sadducees, the scribes and the lawyers (those who handled or should I say mishandled God's law).
We also read the following in relation to Peter and John:
"Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were unlearned and ignorant men, they marvelled; and they took knowledge of them, that they had been with Jesus." (Acts 4:13)
Again, Peter and John, BY THE WORLD'S STANDARDS, "were unlearned and ignorant men", but even their accusers "took knowledge of them that they had been with Jesus". IOW, their "real formal Bible schooling" wasn't via the teachings of men, but rather via having spent time WITH JESUS. Here's a question for everyone:
Where are the Peters and Johns of today?
Could it be that the reason that there is such a shortage of the same is that people aren't truly spending enough time "being with Jesus" and too much time receiving "real formal Bible schooling"? Personally, I believe so and said belief is based upon much experience and observation.
Anyhow, if there's anything pure in my own doctrine, then I know exactly why that is. I still recall the very first verse that jumped out at me as a new believer in Christ and I grabbed a hold of it then and I've never let go of the same. I'm referring to this verse:
"But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you." (John 14:26)
My ultimate reliance is upon the teaching ministry of the Holy Ghost and, as I've said many times elsewhere, He's not called the "HOLY Ghost" for nothing. IOW, MUCH/MOST of the teaching which I've received of the "HOLY Ghost" has come in the form of P
ERSONAL correction that I might truly repent and be conformed unto the image of Jesus Christ or truly seek to obey God's command to "be ye holy as I am holy". Which leads me to this...
Again, in my own experience and based upon my own observations which have spanned the last 26 years in many different "Christian" settings, many (dare I say "most") of the professing Christians whom I've personally met and encountered don't like that type of teaching at all. IOW, it seems to me that many aspire, out of subtle pride, to teach OTHERS, but that they don't want to be taught of the Lord themselves in relation to holiness. Anyhow, again, that's a general observation, so please don't anybody here "read between the lines" as if it was somehow aimed or directed towards any of you. I'm very straightforward, so nobody ever has to look for any "hidden meanings" in what I say.
RickyZ said:
I'm not concerned with you following the voice of the enemy, and he is indeed sifting you. A lot of what you say and are going thru resonate in me. God spent decades going out of His way to present me with an education and experience in the spiritual realm that up till now I don't think many people were privilege to (I hear people now speaking understandings that I first came to 30+ years ago, and many of which nearly got me kicked out back then). This has been accompanied by an equally efforted attack by the enemy to keep me as stymied, stonewalled, and irrelevant as a human can be. It's hard to spread the power of the gospel when you're being depowered in the world, if you will. The more satan can fill your time with handling worldly things, the less time you have to fight him with.
Brother, I know EXACTLY what you're talking about.
Been there. Done that. Am PRESENTLY wearing the t-shirt.
RickyZ said:
I don't have an answer as of yet (maybe I was hoping to find one in you that would help both of us). But I do sense that you are about to turn a corner, a huge one.
Hopefully, there's not somebody waiting for me with a big club in his hand as I turn said corner...lol.
RickyZ said:
Life won't be what it has been up 'till now, but the pool has to be drained - completely - before fresh water can be brought in and not be tainted by the old. God says the key is perseverance. You will persevere, and this will all change for you because of it. I'm just not sure about when and how
I hope so, brother. Right now, I'm basically in the "having done all to stand, stand" mode.
RickyZ said:
I wish I knew more about your deliverance ministry, and the theology behind it. I assume you're a big believer in the Spiritual Gifts (all of them). But what you're doing has to be right, because satan doesn't waste attacks upon people who are powerless against him.
I don't "formally" have a "deliverance ministry". IOW, I'm not an "ordained minister" (not by man's standards, anyway) or anything like that, but simply a man who understands the true nature of the battle that we're all in (whether we're presently aware of the same or not) and who has learned, the hard way, how to fight.
I am a big believer in the gifts of the Spirit, but, honestly, I've never "operated" in several of them and some others only on a very limited basis. If there's one gift which has been my mainstay, then I'd have to say that it's the gift of "discerning of spirits".
As far as my theology is concerned, although I could write a book (God helping me, of course) on "deliverance" and such, I could basically sum everything up by simply citing the two following portions of scripture:
Ephesians chapter 6
[10] Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
[11] Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
[12] For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
[13] Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
[14] Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
[15] And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
[16] Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
[17] And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
[18] Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;
There's my/our opposition and also a list of the armor and spiritual weaponry which we need to overcome the same. My second portion of scripture is this:
Ephesians chapter 1
[15] Wherefore I also, after I heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus, and love unto all the saints,
[16] Cease not to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers;
[17] That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him:
[18] The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints,
[19] And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to usward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power,
[20] Which he wrought in Christ, when he raised him from the dead, and set him at his own right hand in the heavenly places,
[21] Far above all principality, and power, and might, and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that which is to come:
[22] And hath put all things under his feet, and gave him to be the head over all things to the church,
[23] Which is his body, the fulness of him that filleth all in all.
Ephesians chapter 2
[1] And you hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins;
[2] Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience:
[3] Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others.
[4] But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us,
[5] Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved
[6] And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus:
When Christ was raised from the dead, He was raised up "FAR ABOVE ALL principality and power and might and dominion and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that which is to come".
SIMILARLY, when Christians are "born again", they, too, are "raised up together with Christ" and they, too, are "seated together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus".
IOW, SPIRITUALLY SPEAKING, we're as "FAR ABOVE ALL principality and power and might and dominion" AS CHRIST IS. When a Christian realizes the same, that he/she is "in this world, but not of it" in that he/she can operate on a higher spiritual plane than this world which is being led by "the prince of the power of the air" or "the god of this world" operates on, then "deliverance" is a very simple thing. The demons know that we've been given authority over them...and I've simply learned and embraced and regularly practiced the same in my own life and in the lives of many others.
That pretty much sums it up, but I could talk extensively about the spiritual realm if need be in that I've spent years learning of the same AT CHRIST'S FEET and not in any "real formal Bible school". Sadly, many "real formal Bible schools" will tell you that demons don't even exist and that our battle is against our "flesh" or that "deliverance" from demons was only for the timeframe of Christ's Incarnation and the formation of the early church. Such "real formal Bible schoolers" need to be "schooled" themselves.
Anyhow, thanks for your prayers...I truly do appreciate the same.
