Messed up so bad today that my dad basically didn't even want to look at me. Sometimes I feel like they'd be better off without me. I know that's a lie but I just feel so worthless when I mess up.
It's not exactly midnight, but I thought I'd confess, I just had a nightmare involving a library.
Seems to mean that I am still grooming the anxiety that I will forget to return the book on time (and then who knows what horrors could follow?)
I remember a story once about this guy who was rummaging in his attic and found a library book that he signed out over 30 years ago. He was sweating profusely as he called the library
I've just slipped in a post. Nothing too terrible, I just went blabla when I shouldnt. Pointed out that the two persons debating might be saying the same thing just in different terms, nothing too bad in that but the thing is I shouldnt have talked because I wasnt really led to by the Spirit and for that reason I also said it in a bleh way which I realized after I posted.
My parents always argued. That makes me always be set on fire to cancel all conflicts and arguments and while it can be good (I'm a natural peacemaker) it sometimes gets in the way of wiser things.
I'll take comfort that at least I didnt not slip in a series of wrong-toned posts like I did here earlier. I apologized then and continued in a better way. I take comfort that God is at work. May He have me only speak up to build up and as led. amen
Dad it has been just you and me for quite some time and I wanted to thank You for bringing that special someone in my life. All the years of loneliness will soon be gone and there will be someone to share life again with. It is so nice to have that someone special to talk to and he loves You too Dad which makes it even more wonderful. You know that we will begin our married life next week and I ask that You come into our hearts and always dwell there, help us to lift You up to those we come in contact with, help us to live our lives so that others will see Jesus shining through.
Please lead us and help us fulfill the purpose You have in mind for both of us. We will make mistakes and I pray that You will be with us and help us to look to You during those times and come running to You to help us get back on track, that we will always say kind words to each other and keep You in the number one spot always.
Help us to develop a strong connection with You and come to the family alter in worship to You and with You each and every day. Help us to pray more and keep the connection we need to be able to stand strong with You in our hearts against the devil and any trials he may try and send our way.
Dad it won't just be me anymore next week we will be three. Keep us close to You until You come and take us home. Bless our union I pray in Jesus Name Amen.
Blessed are the peacemakers
I thought the peacemaker was a revolver...
It is over midnight. I cant sleep. Instead i am browsing cc all over. I must be getting crazy. I shouldnt confess this to anyone.