Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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arwen-undomiel

Guest
#24,321
#24,321
I was reminded today why I tend not to have friends. When I was little- like 6. I moved away from my best friend because my little brother was on his way and we needed a larger house. We were only a 15 minute drive away. She had plans to come over and I was super excited being 6 years old and not seeing my best friend for while took a toll. So her mom and her were coming. I sat at the window watching for their car. I don't remember how much time passed, but I kept sitting there thinking it would be the next car or the next one turning around the corner. They just didn't show and in my 6 year old mind I couldn't understand why she would just decide not to come.

Didn't get better from there. Actually worse, but I won't get into it.

If anything, my interactions with friends (females mainly) have taught me the unreliability and hypocrisy of people. Yet I still put myself out there, cus I want to connect with people but sometimes I wonder if it was in vain.
 
lil_christian

lil_christian

Senior Member
#24,322
Mar 14, 2010
7,489
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#24,322
arwen-undomiel said:
I was reminded today why I tend not to have friends. When I was little- like 6. I moved away from my best friend because my little brother was on his way and we needed a larger house. We were only a 15 minute drive away. She had plans to come over and I was super excited being 6 years old and not seeing my best friend for while took a toll. So her mom and her were coming. I sat at the window watching for their car. I don't remember how much time passed, but I kept sitting there thinking it would be the next car or the next one turning around the corner. They just didn't show and in my 6 year old mind I couldn't understand why she would just decide not to come.

Didn't get better from there. Actually worse, but I won't get into it.

If anything, my interactions with friends (females mainly) have taught me the unreliability and hypocrisy of people. Yet I still put myself out there, cus I want to connect with people but sometimes I wonder if it was in vain.
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All I can say is, I hope she never said to you that nobody likes you and everyone loves her.

And yes, I had that happen to me in the first grade. No, it was not fun.
 
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arwen-undomiel

Guest
#24,323
#24,323
lil_christian said:
All I can say is, I hope she never said to you that nobody likes you and everyone loves her.
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The great betrayal I had was from my next best friend, who we both went through an abusive experience together at the age of 11. I held her as she cried, no one held me, but I was strong for her. As she entered junior high, she ditched me, called me terrible names in front of her new friends and denied that I ever there, that she experienced that worse or alone. To her, I wasn't even there. My pain, who I was, didn't matter.

So if someone says that they will call me this week to pick up my wing chair that I offered to give them for free, because they have no furniture right now, instead of calling goodwill to pick up, and they don't call- well i get a little touchy.
 
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blueorchidjd

Guest
#24,324
#24,324
I need to go to the store and get softner salt because
I am slowly turning into....


TUMBLEWEAVE.

I swear this happens once every year and a half.
This is bad news bears.
 
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arwen-undomiel

Guest
#24,325
#24,325
Ah and now I feel like punching something. Pent up anger much? Cus I know no one give a sht. I think I should go get something to eat, sit at a nice restaurant and watch friends be nice friends to each other while I enjoy my meal alone. Bitter much? K. I'm out.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#24,326
Aug 2, 2009
24,639
4,298
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#24,326
arwen-undomiel said:
Ah and now I feel like punching something. Pent up anger much? Cus I know no one give a sht. I think I should go get something to eat, sit at a nice restaurant and watch friends be nice friends to each other while I enjoy my meal alone. Bitter much? K. I'm out.
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I care... but then again most women never seem to care that I care. I'm sort of like that name at the end of the credits that no one ever reads and even when they do it doesn't matter. Anyway, I'm sorry you had such horrible experiences with friends. I don't have any friends in real life either. Sometimes its better that way though..
 
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JustAnotherUser

Guest
#24,327
#24,327
For the most part, I gave up having any type of social circle. It's never worth it if you're wanting/needing someone to be there for you. More often than not, people want to received rather than give. I was always the kid who would be left out in social groups ever since I had a first friend, so I know how it is.
 
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Tintin

Guest
#24,328
#24,328
Wow. Downers, guys. I never belonged in any particular group. In high school I befriended others who didn't fit into any other group. We became firm friends and still are to this day. A few of us were bound by a common faith and nothing more, others by similar interests. Making friends can be tricky but it's very worthwhile. If I can do it, anyone can.
 
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JustAnotherUser

Guest
#24,329
#24,329
Everyone's case is different. That's all I'll say.
 
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MissCris

Guest
#24,330
#24,330
I am by no means trying to diminish what anyone's been through, as far as developing friendships and whatnot- this is just how I've realized I feel about it...

People hurt each other all the time. On purpose, not on purpose, Christians and non-Christians alike. It's going to happen. It's happened to me, and I've made it happen. But I think that...if we shut ourselves away, and harden our hearts to other people just because they're likely going to hurt us or let us down...I dunno, we become like stone. We may not be getting hurt, but we're not loving, either, and that's incredibly sad because God gave us such a great capacity to do just that- Love. I'm not saying anyone should just lie down and be a door mat for people to walk on, to use and abuse, just that I think it's worth the risk- I think that each person that enters our lives brings something unique, shows us something, or learns something from us. There is something really beautiful about (nearly) everyone, and I feel like it's worth the risk of them hurting me just to have the chance to find out who they are inside, just to have them in my world, even if it's only for a little while.

Like I said, that's just my feelings/thoughts about it.
 
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JustAnotherUser

Guest
#24,331
#24,331
I'd like to agree, MissCris. I do think people come and go for reasons. I can't say I've never hurt people, despite that I share that I've been hurt more than admitting to what I've done. It sucks since that's all it is - chances. Being close to those who are one day in your life and then the next would seem like every other day but then... They're not anymore. I've been so used to that pattern that sometimes I let people go and likely hurt them.

On a brighter note... Okay, not really, but less depressing note. My speakers aren't working when I could watch a movie online right now. :l Bummer...
 
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Tintin

Guest
#24,333
#24,333
Could you turn on the movie's subtitles and do all of the voices yourself? That would be kind of cool and fun.
 
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JustAnotherUser

Guest
#24,335
#24,335
Tintin said:
Could you turn on the movie's subtitles and do all of the voices yourself? That would be kind of cool and fun.
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No subtitles. :(

Plus I'm not good on voicing and impersonations. I've tried.
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#24,336
Jan 26, 2013
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#24,336
I think I've always been known as a nice person, in high school, in life. I have close friends, not a whole bunch but 4 one is my Sister. I had a couple kids bully me in school I was an easy target. If it was now and someone tried to bully me, they wouldn't for very long. People do come and go. When I became a Mom I seemed to recruit other Mom friends. Which was good I needed someone else who understood what it was like to have two hours of sleep, or to have been puked or pooped or peed on. I'm still friends with a lot of them. I was in a Christian Mom's group at one time. I'm so thankful for that, it was amazing fellowship.
 
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arwen-undomiel

Guest
#24,337
#24,337
I've just been let down so much that it's really not worth it anymore. I can easily befriend males and find those are the most quality of friendships that I've had in the past. But those are always temporary. But it's just so complicated, and the closeness and great feelings of inclusion have always been temporarily. Everyone moves along. Everyone parts from me. Not just a saying, I have proof. Little initiation of contact on their part. It's just the way things are for me. I suppose I am not very entertaining to keep people around. I've accepted this long ago, but still I reach out to connect with others.
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#24,338
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#24,338
arwen-undomiel said:
I've just been let down so much that it's really not worth it anymore. I can easily befriend males and find those are the most quality of friendships that I've had in the past. But those are always temporary. But it's just so complicated, and the closeness and great feelings of inclusion have always been temporarily. Everyone moves along. Everyone parts from me. Not just a saying, I have proof. Little initiation of contact on their part. It's just the way things are for me. I suppose I am not very entertaining to keep people around. I've accepted this long ago, but still I reach out to connect with others.
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You seem like a really intelligent interesting person to me. I have few friends that have been there for the long haul, those are the one's that would be there for you and never expect anything in return. I wish you lived closer, I'd love to have a friend around here to talk with that has read books like Jane Eyre. I love discussing things like that. I enjoy going out but I'm definitely not one of those chicks you'd ever see dancing on top of a bar or anything like that. My idea of a nice evening out is, a nice dinner with maybe just me and my husband or a friend, or a movie an art show, something like that.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#24,339
#24,339
It's amazing how rude and insulting 'friends' can be. Then it's more amazing when they try to make you out to be the bad guy at the same time.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#24,340
Aug 2, 2009
24,639
4,298
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#24,340
JustAnotherUser said:
I'd like to agree, MissCris. I do think people come and go for reasons. I can't say I've never hurt people, despite that I share that I've been hurt more than admitting to what I've done. It sucks since that's all it is - chances. Being close to those who are one day in your life and then the next would seem like every other day but then... They're not anymore. I've been so used to that pattern that sometimes I let people go and likely hurt them.

On a brighter note... Okay, not really, but less depressing note. My speakers aren't working when I could watch a movie online right now. :l Bummer...
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How about headphones? :)
 
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