Depression & Anxiety

[BelieverInChrist]

[FONT=&quot] Hi everyone, I suffer from both depression and anxiety. The depression came first at a very young age. Surprisingly, I seemed to handle it better back then. It would only last a day or two, I would just feel blue, have a good cry and then I was ready to go and get back to life. I suffered from physical, mental, verbal and emotional abuse from my mother and some mental, verbal and emotional abuse from my older sister. Even some at the hands of other relatives. I always felt that I never fit in or belonged. Even at school I would get made fun of.

I believe due to all of these factors I was an introvert. I was always shy, quiet and backwards. Whether by my choice or not, I always seemed to be a loner. I even got to the point where I hated to go outside, especially if someone else was around. As a young adult I noticed the depression lasting for a week or two instead of only a day or two, again, once I had a good cry, I was ready to carry on and felt 100% better.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]I always knew Christ was with me, I turned to God for everything, it was because of Him I was able to survive my childhood. I got saved in 1993 and that opened up all new problems with my family. It drove a wedge deeper between my mother, sister and me. They were non-believers and I was. I tried hard off and on over the years to have some type of a relationship with them, but it got to the point that my health and my sanity were much more important and I had to leave the toxic relationships behind. Because of them, I even contemplated suicide once just to end all the crazy stupidity that was happening. Luckily for me, God intervened and spoke to my heart and I never gave it a thought ever again. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]
As I have gotten older now, I have noticed the depression is getting worse and now I am having anxiety attacks. I was unemployed for a while and loved it, only because I was home and when I had to go out, I waited until early mornings when it was dark out and not many people around to go out and do whatever I needed to get done, walks, shopping, etc. If I put it off for too long, then I would wait until night and dark out to go out and do what I needed to do. After a while I began having anxiety attacks whenever I had to leave my home to go out to do anything. I hurt, I couldn't breathe and I had to stop a number of times along the way to try to catch my breath. Some times I even had to sit down to get myself calmed down enough to get what I needed to do done and back home as quickly as possible.
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[FONT=&quot]Then it got to where my unemployment ran out and I had to leave and go to work. I hated it but had to get used to it. I still get anxiety attacks especially when I get off the city bus and I am standing at the end of the street looking up the road to where I need to walk to get to work. I love what I do for a living, it has a ton of stress though all of it's own, and now that I am married, I would love to just be a housewife and stay home and take care of house and husband. But, right now I have to work, whether I like it or not. I hate where I work or I should say who I work for. I swear most people in management in my profession has gone to school to be idiots. I am sorry, I know as a Christian I should not be talking like that about others, and that is one of my daily challenges I find myself dealing with now days. I hate who I am now becoming, this person and my attitude are NOT ME. I dread going into work because management has no idea what they are doing. Every place I have worked at the management has been the same way. Seems like the older I get, the worse I feel and the angrier I get over the stupid things these people do.
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[FONT=&quot]The depression is so bad now that I am at the point of feeling ill in the mornings and crying all the time when I know I have to go into work. I wanted so badly to open my own little business in my home, but the doors keep closing every time I try. I would be happier, out from under a lot of stress, I would feel better, be healthier and lose some of this weight that I keep putting on over the years due to all the stress and depression. Even my husband can't understand why I am putting so much on, he even said, I don't eat that much. I can't get him to understand all the things, depression, stress and anxiety can do to a person.

I am at the point now, I wish I could just walk out of my job and never have to work again. I hate it, I hate dealing with certain people. I just want to be home, be with my husband and concentrate all my free time on my relationship with Christ and get that back to where it use to be. For me, when I get into this kind of depression and stress and anxiety, I want to withdraw and I noticed when I am forced to do things that trigger my depression and anxiety, my attitude is horrible. I don't like the person I am slowly becoming. This is NOT who God wants me to be.

I thought if I came back to CC and tried to be there for others and maybe get some encouragement and prayers that I could get back on that road to healing and having a better relationship with God once again.

Thank you for listening to my story. I know we each go through our own things, but each has something a little similar. I hope you will be there for me and help me through these bad times. And I hope I can be there for you as well.

God bless.

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[damombomb]

I used to have this too. Then i started going to church and turned the negatives into positives. i also at the time had too many
peoples problems. I moved completely away from my family( that is when i got in church) and finally had a piece of mind. If
i get cornered though, i kind of come out fighting, but it is because of my peace. There are peace stealers(what i call them).
Try to avoid everyone"s drama and stay on him who is able to keep you in perfect peace. Put them in the Lord's hands.

 

[Anxiety94]

I started getting to that point of depression and anxiety when I was nine. And I am still there. So I understand how you feel. :-(

 

[BelieverInChrist]

I used to have this too. Then i started going to church and turned the negatives into positives. i also at the time had too many
peoples problems. I moved completely away from my family( that is when i got in church) and finally had a piece of mind. If
i get cornered though, i kind of come out fighting, but it is because of my peace. There are peace stealers(what i call them).
Try to avoid everyone"s drama and stay on him who is able to keep you in perfect peace. Put them in the Lord's hands.

Thank you so much for the advice and I am happy that doing these things, helped you. I will pray about this for sure. Thank you for your help & time.

God bless you

 

[BelieverInChrist]

I started getting to that point of depression and anxiety when I was nine. And I am still there. So I understand how you feel. :-(

Oh sister, I am sorry. I will keep you in prayer for sure. Well, you know you are not alone. My deepest depression was about 3 years ago...I couldn't do anything. All I did was sleep all the time and cry. When I could I would pray to God begging Him to take this away from me and lift the heavy cloud. That lasted for more than a month. I don't ever want to feel that again. Going through what I am right now is bad enough.

I would love to feel joy and be happy again.

God bless you

 

[biscuit]

You need to establish a personal relationship with Jesus (Revelation 3:20)

"Come unto me, all you that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28)

 

[BelieverInChrist]

You need to establish a personal relationship with Jesus (Revelation 3:20)

"Come unto me, all you that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28)

Gee thanks biscuit, but I don't believe you fully read or understood what I wrote. Because I said I have a personal relationship with Christ and mentioned when I was saved, and how I prayed hard 3 years ago when depression hit me the worst, etc. Depression isn't something you can turn on and off or have any control over. When it happens it knocks you for a loop and all you CAN do is turn to God and constantly PRAY to Him.

Thanks anyway for the advice.

 

[BelieverInChrist]

This is why I hate going on any of these things to express how I am feeling or what I may be battling or going through. I always hope those who reply will be someone that has been there and understands and will be helpful, encouraging, sensitive and supportive.

If depression was a choice of mind, no one would ever have it, because I don't know anyone who would ever want it. And no matter how deep and close ones relationship is with Christ, does not guarantee your life is free from all stresses and tensions or bad things. Bad things still happen to true Christians. Everything has to go through God before it gets to us, He has His reasons for allowing things into our lives. He has His own reasons why He allows such things into our lives, but all we can do is trust Him and lean on Him to get us through each valley.

 

[Ugly]

I was actually born with self esteem issues. By 14 i became depressed. And in my early 30s began having anxiety issues. My anxiety is now much better, but at times it tries to pop up again. It will likely never go completely away. I've had people tell me i should medicate for my depression. I've always been leery, but, like you, i'm getting tired of the struggle and have been considering it more and more.
But you're right, Believer, many people on sites like this are ignorant and have this attitude that if you and your life aren't perfect then the only explanation is you don't know Jesus. Many times the only way to get much support is from people who you know, because too many Christians have no clue.

 

[biscuit]

Gee thanks biscuit, but I don't believe you fully read or understood what I wrote. Because I said I have a personal relationship with Christ and mentioned when I was saved, and how I prayed hard 3 years ago when depression hit me the worst, etc. Depression isn't something you can turn on and off or have any control over. When it happens it knocks you for a loop and all you CAN do is turn to God and constantly PRAY to Him.

Thanks anyway for the advice.

Jesus is the Great Physician and He can cure any ailment. I can be in tremendous pain (kidney stones) and ask the Lord to stop the pain ... and seconds later the pain is gone (temporarily). I read your post

 

[BelieverInChrist]

I was actually born with self esteem issues. By 14 i became depressed. And in my early 30s began having anxiety issues. My anxiety is now much better, but at times it tries to pop up again. It will likely never go completely away. I've had people tell me i should medicate for my depression. I've always been leery, but, like you, i'm getting tired of the struggle and have been considering it more and more.
But you're right, Believer, many people on sites like this are ignorant and have this attitude that if you and your life aren't perfect then the only explanation is you don't know Jesus. Many times the only way to get much support is from people who you know, because too many Christians have no clue.

Thank You!

I really don't want to go with any meds. Most of those I feel, cover up and masks the cause while helping with the symptoms. Many tell me all the time I should get on something, which may be great for some, but I don't want to. Even if it helps with the depression, the meds cause 2 more things that then you need meds for. To me, it is just a vicious cycle.

I would rather turn to the Great Physician for healing, He heals not only the symptoms, but the causes too.

Sorry to hear that you go through it at times too. But at least you understand and can be there for others. A lot of times, that is why we go through the valleys. Not only for us to grow, but also to be able to be there for others who are currently going through the same thing. So we are more understanding, sensitive and be able to give advice that can help them get through their valley too.

There are just some times it can get very difficult to deal with, but all I can do is trust God to see me through.

God bless

 

[RedTent]

Thank You!

I really don't want to go with any meds. Most of those I feel, cover up and masks the cause while helping with the symptoms. Many tell me all the time I should get on something, which may be great for some, but I don't want to. Even if it helps with the depression, the meds cause 2 more things that then you need meds for. To me, it is just a vicious cycle.

I would rather turn to the Great Physician for healing, He heals not only the symptoms, but the causes too.

Sorry to hear that you go through it at times too. But at least you understand and can be there for others. A lot of times, that is why we go through the valleys. Not only for us to grow, but also to be able to be there for others who are currently going through the same thing. So we are more understanding, sensitive and be able to give advice that can help them get through their valley too.

There are just some times it can get very difficult to deal with, but all I can do is trust God to see me through.

God bless

I understand your opposition to meds as only something to mask the cause, but there are other facts about them to take into consideration. If you take them and they help you be able to handle the depressing thoughts that brings on the depression, that help can be used as a guide for your mind to do the same without the meds.

Something else to consider is that there are people whose body simply will not produce what it needs so the mind can work as the Lord intended it to work. For these people to refuse meds would be as foolish as a diabetic refusing medication.

 

[JustAnotherUser]

Thank you for in a sense let us know that we're not alone. This site has helped me on that and made me a little less depressed than what I would've been if I never sought for any type of support or similar stories as to what I've gone through/am currently going through. That includes the OP.

You're not alone, either. I can't give much encouragement if I can't give any for myself right now, but your story sounds so similar to mine and I'm very sorry that you've been putting up with it for a long time. It takes courage to reach out and share the stories that everyone has and know that it brings more impact than one can realize.

 

[Ugly]

Thank You!

I really don't want to go with any meds. Most of those I feel, cover up and masks the cause while helping with the symptoms. Many tell me all the time I should get on something, which may be great for some, but I don't want to. Even if it helps with the depression, the meds cause 2 more things that then you need meds for. To me, it is just a vicious cycle.

I would rather turn to the Great Physician for healing, He heals not only the symptoms, but the causes too.

Sorry to hear that you go through it at times too. But at least you understand and can be there for others. A lot of times, that is why we go through the valleys. Not only for us to grow, but also to be able to be there for others who are currently going through the same thing. So we are more understanding, sensitive and be able to give advice that can help them get through their valley too.

There are just some times it can get very difficult to deal with, but all I can do is trust God to see me through.

God bless

Your perception that meds 'cover up and masks' can be true for people facing short term or circumstantial depression. And that can actually be beneficial if the person is also receiving counseling to deal with the issue by making the depression symptoms easier to deal with while working through the issues.
But other people have chemical imbalances in their brain that can never actually be fixed. So the medications help set things back in order. The 'true cause' IS being affected. The brains wrong wiring.
The only time these medications can be accused of 'covering up' or 'masking' is when a person takes them with no counseling whatsoever, especially for circumstantial depression.

While it's true God can heal this IF He chooses to. But at the same time, i've been battling this for 25 years, as have many other Christians. Sometimes God uses less spiritual means to accomplish His will.

 

[BelieverInChrist]

Thank you for in a sense let us know that we're not alone. This site has helped me on that and made me a little less depressed than what I would've been if I never sought for any type of support or similar stories as to what I've gone through/am currently going through. That includes the OP.

You're not alone, either. I can't give much encouragement if I can't give any for myself right now, but your story sounds so similar to mine and I'm very sorry that you've been putting up with it for a long time. It takes courage to reach out and share the stories that everyone has and know that it brings more impact than one can realize.

Thanks JustAnotherUser, it was so nice to hear from another that is going through the same thing. I will surely pray for you sister and I ask that you please keep me in your prayers too. If ever you need to talk you know where to find me, my private message is always available and if you find me on chat somewhere and would like to talk, I would like that.

God bless you sister. (((HUGS)))

 

[BelieverInChrist]

RedTent & Ugly, I appreciate what you are saying and yes I knew that about meds from a long time ago when it comes to those with a chemical imbalance. If that works for them, great and I am glad for that. I personally don't want to use them if I don't need them, I would like to change my situations so the stresses and such aren't there to cause the depression and anxiety. I know no matter what I will never be free of it, and I always look at it as my "thorn in the flesh"

Please take care and God bless to you both.

 

[Joann47]

I'm in the same boat and I have been on medications but was in a fog so I no longer take them. And even I admit I do not follow my advice but in my mentally healthier years I exercised. If you need motivation join a biggest loser competition. That was how I got started but then I fell back on the couch

 

[Rarthyr]

RedTent & Ugly, I appreciate what you are saying and yes I knew that about meds from a long time ago when it comes to those with a chemical imbalance. If that works for them, great and I am glad for that. I personally don't want to use them if I don't need them, I would like to change my situations so the stresses and such aren't there to cause the depression and anxiety. I know no matter what I will never be free of it, and I always look at it as my "thorn in the flesh"



Please take care and God bless to you both.

From what I have read from your story it sounds like your glutathione levels in your body have been depleted. Prolonged low levels of stress poor diet and over exercise and pollution are some things that contribute to this. Low levels of glutathione are found in people with depression,anxiety,schizophrenia etc. I would look into getting some glutathione supplements specificaly NAC so you can get your glutathione levels back up so your brain is healthier. Also sun, sunlight is the single best thing for your mood. It causes your brain to produce more serotonin, the happy calm chemical. Try to get some organic apple cider vinegar too and put some of that in water and drink it before meals. You will probably feel a lot better. Take care. God pointed me in the direction of glutathione and how important it is to our health. I want to share this info with everyone who has a mental health problem. Glutathione has literally CURED some severe cases such as people with tourettes and ocd, people with schizophrenia, bipolar adhd etc etc.

 

[blue_ladybug]

​Best medicine for depression is laughter! Laugh loud, laugh often, laugh long!!

 

[jogoldie]

Read the blue ladybugs story......the link is on the bottom of her post......
It is an inspiring story......
Ive never suffered from depression.......thank God......but I exercise alot.....
endorfins are amazing.......i started with things i like......riding bikes and swimming........
alot easier to do if you find an activity you enjoy.....my 80 yr old aunt and I started
doing water aerobics..so much fun.....laughed through the whole class....and we both
lost weight..... we looked forward to going......the class was through the city...at the high schools pool..
besides you have alot of caring sisters right here to talk to......peace......jo
You have alot of good advice here for you...