Is she out there?

[RedFox144]

I have been single for my entire life and I am 28 years old. I have never had a girlfriend or any kind of romantic entanglement. My introverted personality and propensity for shying away from the center of attention has never lent me the courage to take a relationship past an occasional chat. I consigned myself to focus on the tasks that needed to be done and took the social skills to be of secondary importance. When I looked at my lack of romantic life, I concluded that it was simply God’s will for me to never marry due to the circumstances that I was placed in. I still acknowledge that that could be the case, but more recently, I have realized that this thought could simply be a way to justify my inaction due to cowardice. To simply tell myself that I am destined to be single for it is the will of God is a whole lot easier than dealing with the uncertainty and possible pain of pursuing a relationship. It is also a summery conclusion based not necessarily on faith or prayer but instead on a limited look on circumstances through bias and fallen eyes. This brings me to my post. If it is God’s will for me to find someone, than He has someone for me to find. To my knowledge, I have not seen her so I send out this note to her if she exists.
I am curious as to who you are and yet terrified to see if you are even out there. Who could you possibly be that you could be a match for me? Who could God have made that could put up with my quirks and annoyances and still love me regardless? In what ways are we alike? In what ways different? Do you enjoy a walk through nature or marvel at its beautiful complexities? Do you find joy in creating or happiness in discovery? Are you close or are you far (I live in Irmo, SC by the way)? Do you even exist or am I simply talking to a dream? I have delayed this post out of fear of either outcome and must post this quickly before I lose my nerve. Fear of no response and the confirmation of my suspicions, and fear of actually finding you and entering into the unknown realm of a relationship. I feel like I’m back in high school getting ready to ask a girl out for the first time except I know nothing about who I’m asking or where she even is. In a way, this is me laying my fleece on the ground to see what God is telling me and if it is God who is telling me. Are you out there?

 

[Roh_Chris]

Would a post by a brother be welcomed here?

I think if God has planned a marriage for you then He has planned a mate. Just trust and let Him handle that. I am not saying that you would not meet your mate here but I don't want you to be disappointed if you don't.

 

[Natt]

we almost have the same "problem"..the only difference is that im a girl..i have the exact same thought as you do but you know what, i enjoyed being single..enjoyed so much that im almost in my mid-30s and im still happily single..tho i feel pressured every now and then, biological clock something like that hehehe..God has prepared a perfect princess for you, just wait for her to wait is to have God's best bro

 

[Desdichado]

Time to get out there and take what is yours!

 

[christian74]

Haha... I like your honest description of what you are thinking and going through, including fear, anxiety, uncertainty, and etc.

You know, for one thing, I don't believe it's God's will for you to live the rest of your life as a single man because obviously you do have a deep longing to be in a relationship - whereas there are people born with no such desire like eunuch and believe me the word 'eunuch' gets thrown around here at CC more often than you think, which in a way reveals the nature of the forum, full of single people.

I think you posting what you think of the subject despite of fear of no response and whatnot, is a solid indication that you do have the courage as an introvert to ask her out when, not if, the right person comes along in your life. I know I wouldn't be able to post something like this, being a typical introvert, so you are better off my friend. Therefore, I would focus on becoming the right person for her by faithfully walking with God, and you will meet the right person in His timing with whom you two will focus on what is common between two, i.e., love of God, and celebrate the differences.

God bless.

 

[simplysweet]

I have been single for my entire life and I am 28 years old. I have never had a girlfriend or any kind of romantic entanglement. My introverted personality and propensity for shying away from the center of attention has never lent me the courage to take a relationship past an occasional chat. I consigned myself to focus on the tasks that needed to be done and took the social skills to be of secondary importance. When I looked at my lack of romantic life, I concluded that it was simply God’s will for me to never marry due to the circumstances that I was placed in. I still acknowledge that that could be the case, but more recently, I have realized that this thought could simply be a way to justify my inaction due to cowardice. To simply tell myself that I am destined to be single for it is the will of God is a whole lot easier than dealing with the uncertainty and possible pain of pursuing a relationship. It is also a summery conclusion based not necessarily on faith or prayer but instead on a limited look on circumstances through bias and fallen eyes. This brings me to my post. If it is God’s will for me to find someone, than He has someone for me to find. To my knowledge, I have not seen her so I send out this note to her if she exists.
I am curious as to who you are and yet terrified to see if you are even out there. Who could you possibly be that you could be a match for me? Who could God have made that could put up with my quirks and annoyances and still love me regardless? In what ways are we alike? In what ways different? Do you enjoy a walk through nature or marvel at its beautiful complexities? Do you find joy in creating or happiness in discovery? Are you close or are you far (I live in Irmo, SC by the way)? Do you even exist or am I simply talking to a dream? I have delayed this post out of fear of either outcome and must post this quickly before I lose my nerve. Fear of no response and the confirmation of my suspicions, and fear of actually finding you and entering into the unknown realm of a relationship. I feel like I’m back in high school getting ready to ask a girl out for the first time except I know nothing about who I’m asking or where she even is. In a way, this is me laying my fleece on the ground to see what God is telling me and if it is God who is telling me. Are you out there?

Hey there! You know what? you are special in God's eyes. you are loved by Him and He desires the best for you. His ways are higher than yours. His thoughts are higher than yours. you just have to see yourself in God's point of view. you don't have to fear. you are loved by God. You are special. you are a prince. Try to read the story of isaac and rebekah. their love story is really wonderful. it was God, the greatest matchmaker who sent rebekah to isaac. just be patient. dont focus on your feeling. focus on God. in His time, He will give u the desires of ur heart. As of now, find ur identity in Christ. ^_^.

 

[amymine712]

People have given a lot of good Godly advice so far. I want to add a few things.

Make yourself knowledgeable, and use that knowledge, about what relationships and marriage entail by studying the bible on the different roles in a relationship/marriage, love, and sex. You need to know what God expects from you and for you.

Be ready to accept imperfection. We as Christians strive to be what God wants us to be but we all fall short of it.

There are many women out there that could make you a good mate in life. Your job is to find one that you can not only be attracted to, but be good friends with and love as God wants you to love. This is a life long commitment we are looking at and it needs to be about more than attraction.

Be ready to work hard for your relationship. "Falling in love" is a joke. Real Godly love takes work and that is what you should aim for. You can't be complacent in any relationship or it dies. So don't sit back on your laurels and expect it to be easy.

Last but most importantly pray! Pray for your future mate and pray for yourself.

 

[eugenius]

RedFox, Copy and paste what you said, and sign my name to it. Are you sure, you aren't my identical twin? I'm even the same age as you. Like literally this is 100% the way I feel.

But I don't believe that God intends for me to never marry, or else he would not give me this strong desire for both marriage and to have children. Especially to someone who has never had a father, and wants to be an amazing father to his children. Not when there are so many bad fathers out there.

I think its largely my fault for not trying and for being too afraid of relationships or anything social. I have been trying a lot more lately. So should you. A lot of it, is our fault for being too passive, honestly.

Also, I'm afraid that I will get desperate and marry someone for the wrong reason. Like you said, its hard to find the right person. So many people jump into marriage and soon get divorced. Some people don't even try to make it work. The statistics scare me a little. But when I look at my grandparents who have been together for 60+ years (and they argued like cats and dogs often during those 60 years), I think there is hope.

I think we are too weak and spoiled compared to the previous generations. My grandparents lived through horrible things during WW2. Our generation however, oh look a mosquito flew by, I think we should get divorced. Rolls eyes.

 

[cinder]

Sarcasm Alert! Sarcasm Alert! Sarcasm Alert!

Yes I'm right here. I'll date the both of you, just don't tell each other. Of course before we begin this relationship you should know that I'm a catfish. I'll copy and paste greeting card endearments and supermodel photos to send to you. But you'll never get to call me because I'm living overseas and my cell phone doesn't receive international calls. I have unstable and slow internet so we can't Skype and I can't get on webcam. But don't worry, I'll enjoy tugging on all of your heart strings and making you think you're really in a relationship for a while. I don't know when I'll be back in the states, but I'll promise to come visit when I am. I'll let you in one a secret though, that day is never going to come. I'm really good at making up excuses and playing the victim so you think I really want to be with you and don't suspect I'm deceiving you. Yeah this will be lots of fun, at least until I get bored then maybe I'll invent some life threatening illness that I have to be in the hospital for. Call me


On a serious note (well about as serious as we get about uncertain future marriages around here) there's a write a letter to your future spouse thread somewhere around here. Oh yeah, there it is http://christianchat.com/christian-singles-forum/90732-write-letter-your-future-spouse-thread.html

 

[eugenius]

Sarcasm Alert! Sarcasm Alert! Sarcasm Alert!

Yes I'm right here. I'll date the both of you, just don't tell each other. Of course before we begin this relationship you should know that I'm a catfish. I'll copy and paste greeting card endearments and supermodel photos to send to you. But you'll never get to call me because I'm living overseas and my cell phone doesn't receive international calls. I have unstable and slow internet so we can't Skype and I can't get on webcam. But don't worry, I'll enjoy tugging on all of your heart strings and making you think you're really in a relationship for a while. I don't know when I'll be back in the states, but I'll promise to come visit when I am. I'll let you in one a secret though, that day is never going to come. I'm really good at making up excuses and playing the victim so you think I really want to be with you and don't suspect I'm deceiving you. Yeah this will be lots of fun, at least until I get bored then maybe I'll invent some life threatening illness that I have to be in the hospital for. Call me


On a serious note (well about as serious as we get about uncertain future marriages around here) there's a write a letter to your future spouse thread somewhere around here. Oh yeah, there it is http://christianchat.com/christian-singles-forum/90732-write-letter-your-future-spouse-thread.html

Awesome, that sounds extremely attractive. I will most definitely call you. "Hold on Nigerian uncle, I'm a little busy responding to this incredible CC post, yes yes we can discuss transfer of funds in a minute, hold on".

 

[JimJimmers]

Time to get out there and take what is yours!

View attachment 86811

Tell that man it's impolite to scratch your stomach when posing for portraits.

 

[RedFox144]

ha, he's either hungry or going for a pistol.

 

[NestForASparrow]

I'm in the same boat. My dad got every sick, so I moved back to take care of him and I lost all contacts I had made over the years.

I've used many excuses for not getting involved over the years...not having graduated college, not knowing of my living situation, not having a job, trying to focus on getting the next promotion, taking care of my parents, only wanting to date a Christian while I attend a Church where there are single women within 10 years of my age, etc.

The funny thing is the exact moment I was signing in with my username to reply to your post, the song I was listening to stated "Even the sparrow finds a home, even the swallow a nest for her young." All will come in time according to God's plan for our lives. Let's not worry ourselves about the future because the life we live now is enough for us. When the time is right, it will happen.

 

[Test_F_i_2_Luv]

People have given a lot of good Godly advice so far. I want to add a few things.

Make yourself knowledgeable, and use that knowledge, about what relationships and marriage entail by studying the bible on the different roles in a relationship/marriage, love, and sex. You need to know what God expects from you and for you.

Be ready to accept imperfection. We as Christians strive to be what God wants us to be but we all fall short of it.

There are many women out there that could make you a good mate in life. Your job is to find one that you can not only be attracted to, but be good friends with and love as God wants you to love. This is a life long commitment we are looking at and it needs to be about more than attraction.

Be ready to work hard for your relationship. "Falling in love" is a joke. Real Godly love takes work and that is what you should aim for. You can't be complacent in any relationship or it dies. So don't sit back on your laurels and expect it to be easy.

Last but most importantly pray! Pray for your future mate and pray for yourself.

Growing in love is what we should strive for.

 

[Sophia-95]

It will happen when you least expect it