Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

[ww_21]

I'm beginning to think Christianity isn't for me.

 

[ChandlerFan]

I'm beginning to think Christianity isn't for me.

How come, ww?

 

[cinder]

I'm probably going to get told I'm a cursed freak for what I just told someone in a thread Re: Harry Potter in Miscellaneous. I told the girl to keep her Harry Potter stuff. Seriously, why do some Christians take that stuff so out of context and so seriously? It really drives me nuts.

I was just reading that thread. I was mostly skimming, but she appears to have some serious issues to work through. I love Harry Potter though. Anyone who throws out HP is going to need to throw out LofR and Narnia too.

Yes! Exactly!! I was always confused over this. I used to be part of a church that condemned Harry Potter as witchcraft but when Chronicles of Narnia came out, most of the area churches were organizing group carpools to go see it...

What the hee haw!!???

Yes it is wrong to say all fantasy is bad just because it is fantasy. It is also just as wrong to say all fantasy is harmless because it is only fantasy. Stories shape worldview. It isn't much better to say that, oh since we know the authors of these fantasy novels were christian these are good fantasy but since this fantasy deals with certain topics and we don't know that the author is Christian it is bad fantasy.

So let's judge any work of fantasy by its content and effect on people. I haven't read any of the HP books so I can't speak to their content and won't try. However, by that girl's own admission her interest in Harry Potter was concurrent with her occultic involvement. Her keeping that stuff is like a sexually promiscuous person who is trying to start living a celibate life keeping her collection of romance novels or porn; it's just a really bad idea.

I won't clog this thread up with the positive impact LOTR and Narnia have had on my life, but I will say that there are several narnia scenes that define the way I think about certain aspects of character. The nature of faith, what it means to follow, and what courage and loyalty look like are all things I've learned from Narnia. But to be fair here, I've also learned a lot from Discworld (written by Sir Terry Pratchett) and the writings of Orson Scott Card.

And yes I know some Christians who tell me I shouldn't read Narnia because Lewis included characters based off of pagan deities and old ladies in my prayer group wouldn't go see LOTR because there was only one Lord and it had magic in it. but that's enough for this thread. We can start a new thread to discuss fantasy literature if we want.

 

[Tintin]

I'm beginning to think Christianity isn't for me.

Christianity is for you. It's for everyone. Or rather, Christ is for everyone. Hang in there, mate!

 

[MissCris]

We can start a new thread to discuss fantasy literature if we want.

Ooh! Do! I think that would be kiiiiinda awesome.

 

[persNickety]

I'm beginning to think Christianity isn't for me.

Let us know what is going on in particular. Please seek counsel, maybe we can assist you or just come along beside you during this season

 

[secularhermit]

I'm beginning to think Christianity isn't for me.

If it was a religion, surely I know why. If it wasn´t because you THOUGHT you weren´t achieving something you badly wish (or miss) I´m being there, but Christ and GOD are the safeest source of Joy and Peace I ever found.

Those days I torn several Bibles I had, I thought GOD was one man-made invention (and He is not). The invention is where many wanted you to be and, if it is you think you are under a chain, probably it is you who want to leave and do your things they way you lately would regret (I also have done the same).

For me, far from religion and people´s expectations or cliché behavior, I chose to die for GOD and His Son, Jesus Christ. The rest of this decieving life worths nothing. I hope He (God) talks to you, little friend.

You should be you! You don´t need to be another person you surely aren´t. You are the most wonderful woman few people have seen and I´m happy the way you are. In fact, I wish I meet you in heavens, because You have fed my life with holy joy.

I love you, little sister. Let He does His will 1st that yours.

 

[lil_christian]

So I can't sleep tonight, so I've been laying in bed thinking, thinking about being hurt and how I deal with it.

Growing up I always kept to myself, didn't bother with the outside world too much because of previous hurt. I internalized everything and never let anyone see the true me, never let them see I was hurting. I did this for years and after a while you get really good at hiding anything and everything from pretty much everyone.


As I got older and started interacting with the world, I started to hide my emotions through an appearance of not caring or joking. Again, doing this for years makes you really good at it, and I was to the point where even my mom had no idea what I was feeling.

Reading a text message from a good friend tonight got me thinking about this, and how I hide ALL my true feelings under jokes, and made me realize how truly afraid I am of allot of things happening in my life. Allot of things scare me to death, but my standard way of dealing with this is to joke, or play IDC, but in reality I'm deathly afraid of something or deeply deeply hurt.

It's so hard for me to admit to anyone that I'm afraid of something in life, that I've been hurt, or even that I'm scared of potential outcomes in life. I'm scared to admit that my life isn't as perfect as it looks, scared that people will see the true me, scared to simply show my emotions. Afraid to open up ever again, for fear of being hurt so deeply.

I feel like all these emotions that I never show are holding me back, yet at the same time I have no idea how else to live, how else to deal with the pain. When I open up to anyone I'm vulnerable and I know how easy it is to penetrate to my inner being and so deeply wound me that I never fully recover.

I'm sobbing now, so maybe I'll be able to sleep. I feel quite exposed now, please tread lightly. :'(

I made a post not too different from yours recently in this thread. Sometimes I just get to this point where I feel so achy and hurt and I wish I had someone close to me to talk about it, to help me through it...and realization hits. Nobody's close to me, because I don't let anyone get close to me. I could have exploded from the pressure building up inside myself, realizing I couldn't hold it in any longer. Thank God for CC, right?

 

[MissCris]

My sister told me this morning that I live a charmed life. She said, "Everything comes easy for you, people are always rushing to your rescue, and you got all the good genes. How am I supposed to compete with that? It's easier for me to just not have to be around you."

This was in response to me calling her to ask if she'd want to help me put together a family party for my birthday next month. But she's been ignoring/avoiding me a lot lately, and I couldn't figure out why...I thought maybe she was just busy with her wedding plans (takes place at the end of August, a couple weeks after my birthday).

She's pretty upset with me. She told me it just figures that I would try to "trump" her wedding by having a get-together for my birthday.

What?!

I don't get all the bitterness towards me. She ended the conversation with "Just once, I'd like to see you fall flat on your face and not get back up. Then maybe you'd be more human."

I think this means I'm NOT invited to the wedding after all...?

I am super confused.

 

[lil_christian]

My sister told me this morning that I live a charmed life. She said, "Everything comes easy for you, people are always rushing to your rescue, and you got all the good genes. How am I supposed to compete with that? It's easier for me to just not have to be around you."

This was in response to me calling her to ask if she'd want to help me put together a family party for my birthday next month. But she's been ignoring/avoiding me a lot lately, and I couldn't figure out why...I thought maybe she was just busy with her wedding plans (takes place at the end of August, a couple weeks after my birthday).

She's pretty upset with me. She told me it just figures that I would try to "trump" her wedding by having a get-together for my birthday.

What?!

I don't get all the bitterness towards me. She ended the conversation with "Just once, I'd like to see you fall flat on your face and not get back up. Then maybe you'd be more human."

I think this means I'm NOT invited to the wedding after all...?

I am super confused.

Kiiiinnd of ridiculous.

 

[Pipp]

My sister told me this morning that I live a charmed life. She said, "Everything comes easy for you, people are always rushing to your rescue, and you got all the good genes. How am I supposed to compete with that? It's easier for me to just not have to be around you."

This was in response to me calling her to ask if she'd want to help me put together a family party for my birthday next month. But she's been ignoring/avoiding me a lot lately, and I couldn't figure out why...I thought maybe she was just busy with her wedding plans (takes place at the end of August, a couple weeks after my birthday).

She's pretty upset with me. She told me it just figures that I would try to "trump" her wedding by having a get-together for my birthday.

What?!

I don't get all the bitterness towards me. She ended the conversation with "Just once, I'd like to see you fall flat on your face and not get back up. Then maybe you'd be more human."

I think this means I'm NOT invited to the wedding after all...?

I am super confused.

Wow ...just wow. I can't imagine saying something like that to my sister.... OK that's it I'm adopting you as my sister.
*hugs you and hands you a cupcake* welcome to the family.

 

[ChandlerFan]

Yep. Really ridiculous.

 

[lil_christian]

I kind of don't want to leave the house today. But y'know...I have to go do stuff.

 

[violakat]

My sister told me this morning that I live a charmed life. She said, "Everything comes easy for you, people are always rushing to your rescue, and you got all the good genes. How am I supposed to compete with that? It's easier for me to just not have to be around you."

This was in response to me calling her to ask if she'd want to help me put together a family party for my birthday next month. But she's been ignoring/avoiding me a lot lately, and I couldn't figure out why...I thought maybe she was just busy with her wedding plans (takes place at the end of August, a couple weeks after my birthday).

She's pretty upset with me. She told me it just figures that I would try to "trump" her wedding by having a get-together for my birthday.

What?!

I don't get all the bitterness towards me. She ended the conversation with "Just once, I'd like to see you fall flat on your face and not get back up. Then maybe you'd be more human."

I think this means I'm NOT invited to the wedding after all...?

I am super confused.

I'm trying to wrap my head around this one. Has she been living in a bubble the last few months? Maybe she has with planning her wedding, because I have a feeling I might be if I were planning a mega wedding. And really, that maybe it, she's stressed and not thinking straight. Give her a few days and call her back. Just don't mention birthday parties.

 

[MissCris]

I'm trying to wrap my head around this one. Has she been living in a bubble the last few months? Maybe she has with planning her wedding, because I have a feeling I might be if I were planning a mega wedding. And really, that maybe it, she's stressed and not thinking straight. Give her a few days and call her back. Just don't mention birthday parties.

I'm sure that the wedding is part of it, which I totally get. But, this isn't the first time she's said something like this to/about me, either. It's...very weird, the way she is towards me. There are times when she's really pleasant, and helpful, and caring. Then there's times where I can't talk to her for two minutes before she starts insulting me and telling me how stupid or fat or vain I am. And then there's times like today, when she's upset with me because...why? Because my life hasn't been worse? Because I happen to have been born on a day anywhere near the date she chose for her post-marriage wedding? I don't know.

She's told me before that she's jealous of me and our brother. That explains some of it. But even the jealousy...I don't understand.

It's frustrating and makes me want to shake her and force her to realize all the amazing qualities she has that I don't. She's a tough cookie- she's had some rough stuff happen and come out stronger for it. She's insanely smart, good with numbers and science, can fix or figure out just about anything, is funny and loves to entertain and bring people together. I just wish she'd SEE that and realize her talents/gifts may be different than mine or my brother's, but they're GOOD.

*sigh*

 

[DuchessAimee]

I'm sure that the wedding is part of it, which I totally get. But, this isn't the first time she's said something like this to/about me, either. It's...very weird, the way she is towards me. There are times when she's really pleasant, and helpful, and caring. Then there's times where I can't talk to her for two minutes before she starts insulting me and telling me how stupid or fat or vain I am. And then there's times like today, when she's upset with me because...why? Because my life hasn't been worse? Because I happen to have been born on a day anywhere near the date she chose for her post-marriage wedding? I don't know.

She's told me before that she's jealous of me and our brother. That explains some of it. But even the jealousy...I don't understand.

It's frustrating and makes me want to shake her and force her to realize all the amazing qualities she has that I don't. She's a tough cookie- she's had some rough stuff happen and come out stronger for it. She's insanely smart, good with numbers and science, can fix or figure out just about anything, is funny and loves to entertain and bring people together. I just wish she'd SEE that and realize her talents/gifts may be different than mine or my brother's, but they're GOOD.

*sigh*

Her jealousy reminds me of something Paul said in 1 Corinthians. I'm going to paraphrase. He said that everyone has gifts given by God, but some people want the "big" gifts. But he also said that they don't get why having the "big" gifts aren't as fun or easy as they look. She sees your talents as the "big" ones, whether they are or aren't.


It seems to me that she wants compensation for her hurts. She wants to shine brighter and receive attention because she thinks she wasn't noticed, or didn't get help/sympathy/ect, like she thought she deserved. Her reactions are also tell tale signs of how wounded she still is. I highly doubt it's because of you. She's allowing the infection to continue because that's what she's comfortable with. It's her choice to stay the same or change.



And her wedding could be in December, and you'd still be trying to upstage her. You aren't responsible for her thoughts or actions.

 

[lil_christian]

So. I went outside the house. I'm glad I did. I need to do this kind of thing more often. I'm gonna go out again and donate some things to the humane society.

 

[blueorchidjd]

When I apply to jobs...... I will call their gas stations.
Who cares about applying in their actual STORES?
THAT'S MY PURSE.
I DON'T KNOW YOU.

 

[gypsygirl]

I'm sure that the wedding is part of it, which I totally get. But, this isn't the first time she's said something like this to/about me, either. It's...very weird, the way she is towards me. There are times when she's really pleasant, and helpful, and caring. Then there's times where I can't talk to her for two minutes before she starts insulting me and telling me how stupid or fat or vain I am. And then there's times like today, when she's upset with me because...why? Because my life hasn't been worse? Because I happen to have been born on a day anywhere near the date she chose for her post-marriage wedding? I don't know.

She's told me before that she's jealous of me and our brother. That explains some of it. But even the jealousy...I don't understand.

It's frustrating and makes me want to shake her and force her to realize all the amazing qualities she has that I don't. She's a tough cookie- she's had some rough stuff happen and come out stronger for it. She's insanely smart, good with numbers and science, can fix or figure out just about anything, is funny and loves to entertain and bring people together. I just wish she'd SEE that and realize her talents/gifts may be different than mine or my brother's, but they're GOOD.

*sigh*

jealousy is a very tough thing to overcome in family scenarios. i've dealt with it all my life, and it's been a very polarizing issue. with friends too, unfortunately.

often the people who i find are jealous of me are the very ones that i have my own issues with wishing my life was more like theirs, ironically.

it's hurtful and always makes me feel very lonely. also, makes me realize that maybe i don't share enough of my struggles with them, so that they can see that i have problems too, even if i don't make them as public as they choose to.

hang in there, cris. *hugs*

 

[Loveneverfails]

My uncle just sent an email to my mom that went something like this:

"WOWWWW SIS! I just saw some photos of your son on Facebook and he is SO handsome! Wow he looks like he should be an actor or singer or celebrity! Hes so talented and good looking!

...oh and Hallie is pretty too."

*sigh* this is NOT the first time this has happened either hahaha