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U
The whole 'fat liar' thing... i mean, unless things have changed since i was a kid, calling someone a fat liar had nothing to do with their size physically. But rather just a silly childish term used by kids to make their accusation sound worse. I can't help but feel that statement had less to do with Pipps size and more to do with the childish nature of the person using the term (and i know who said it, and they are childlike in reality). Also the girl stating this isn't all that small herself. 0.0
At any rate, it seemed to spark an interesting conversation and it's nice to see some of you being more secure in your appearance and hopefully that will add a spark to those still struggling. Lots of nice looking women on here in all shapes and sizes.
At any rate, it seemed to spark an interesting conversation and it's nice to see some of you being more secure in your appearance and hopefully that will add a spark to those still struggling. Lots of nice looking women on here in all shapes and sizes.
T
Ww_21, wow, that's rough. From my perspective, knowing nothing more than you've shared, it sounds like your mum is doing everything she can to make sure you don't make this move. I'll be praying that you're given godly wisdom and His wisdom to work this through. Also, that your mum learns to treat you with kindness and respect, as she ought to. And that some small measure of healing and forgiveness wouldn't go astray for either of you. Bless you, sis. 
Wow, your mom sounds perpetually entitled and like she has a second job as a travel agent for guilt trips. You are not her parent and unless there is some reason she is incapable of doing so for herself (which sounds like it is not the case) it should not be your job to financially support her.
It sounds like you need some distance and to give your mom some space to get her act together and realize that if she keeps treating you like this she will lose you. It sounds like she wouldn't be reasonable enough to work out some sort of you pay her "rent" now that you are working and have income to take care of your own expenses (this is what my parents asked of me once I was out of college but still living at home and it seems reasonable (but I have awesome parents and their "rent" is still the best deal in town)), but if you have another place to go and know what rent would cost on your own you might be able to open the conversation and if it blows up you'll have somewhere to go to get away. Besides if it's even 20, $20 sundaes every month that's $400 per month. Getting your own place may not be that much additional expense and certainly would pay in lower stress levels.
Moving out would be perfectly normal and acceptable in the US, but I don't know how it is where you are. I do know that where I'm living now in Asia, there is a lot of pressure on the oldest child to help support and provide for their younger siblings and family once they start working. There's also a cultural expectation for a child to use their first real paycheck to buy a thank you gift for their parents as a token of appreciation for all the work their parents put into raising them. But your mom demanding gifts and treat is completely unreasonable. The term emotional blackmail comes to mind.
One other thought I'm having is that your mother may be afraid of you leaving home and is making these demands in an effort (perhaps unconsciously) to make sure you can't leave her. You are not the one with the biggest issues here and you are not a horrible person for wanting something for yourself or for refusing to buy overpriced sundaes or expensive dinners for the family.
Only other thing I can say is that if you mom has money management issues, make sure she cannot access the money in your account. Do what you need to do to protect yourself emotionally as well. That's the best I've got other than
Big Hugs
It sounds like you need some distance and to give your mom some space to get her act together and realize that if she keeps treating you like this she will lose you. It sounds like she wouldn't be reasonable enough to work out some sort of you pay her "rent" now that you are working and have income to take care of your own expenses (this is what my parents asked of me once I was out of college but still living at home and it seems reasonable (but I have awesome parents and their "rent" is still the best deal in town)), but if you have another place to go and know what rent would cost on your own you might be able to open the conversation and if it blows up you'll have somewhere to go to get away. Besides if it's even 20, $20 sundaes every month that's $400 per month. Getting your own place may not be that much additional expense and certainly would pay in lower stress levels.
Moving out would be perfectly normal and acceptable in the US, but I don't know how it is where you are. I do know that where I'm living now in Asia, there is a lot of pressure on the oldest child to help support and provide for their younger siblings and family once they start working. There's also a cultural expectation for a child to use their first real paycheck to buy a thank you gift for their parents as a token of appreciation for all the work their parents put into raising them. But your mom demanding gifts and treat is completely unreasonable. The term emotional blackmail comes to mind.
One other thought I'm having is that your mother may be afraid of you leaving home and is making these demands in an effort (perhaps unconsciously) to make sure you can't leave her. You are not the one with the biggest issues here and you are not a horrible person for wanting something for yourself or for refusing to buy overpriced sundaes or expensive dinners for the family.
Only other thing I can say is that if you mom has money management issues, make sure she cannot access the money in your account. Do what you need to do to protect yourself emotionally as well. That's the best I've got other than
Big Hugs
I'm going to need to learn rest and trust in God. I am so anxious right now, my stomach is in knots, thinking about telling my supervisor and coworkers tomorrow about my upcoming move. And then I think about saying goodbye to my parents and the church. And then the move. And then starting a new job. All the what-ifs.
I need to not be anxious about tomorrow, not just tomorrow, but all tomorrows. I need to trust in God that even if all the terrible what-ifs I have imagine come to be, that He will still be enough, and still be with me and for me. My mind cannot wrap around that, my mind wants to have control over all the reactions and things that will happen and how they will happen, but since I am not all-knowing the way that God is, my mind and my heart freak out. He does not.
I need to not be anxious about tomorrow, not just tomorrow, but all tomorrows. I need to trust in God that even if all the terrible what-ifs I have imagine come to be, that He will still be enough, and still be with me and for me. My mind cannot wrap around that, my mind wants to have control over all the reactions and things that will happen and how they will happen, but since I am not all-knowing the way that God is, my mind and my heart freak out. He does not.
M
It's crazy how quickly I can fall back into the role of a spineless, cowering, emotional punching bag just from having to talk to my ex.
I was trying to be nice and discuss when he can next see the kids. I honestly have no idea if I straight up failed, or if he was already in a bad mood. Either way, part of me now wants to give up and hide away until his words stop echoing in my mind...
I'll never make it on my own.
I can't handle being alone.
What man will ever want someone like me?
I'll come crawling back as soon as I realize nobody else will have me.
I never appreciated how good I had it.
I'm ungrateful and just don't understand anything.
If I'm going to "live off the government", then I should get used to people thinking I'm trash.
*sigh*
There's a part of me that believes those things still.
But...there's a stronger part of me...that knows different.
I was trying to be nice and discuss when he can next see the kids. I honestly have no idea if I straight up failed, or if he was already in a bad mood. Either way, part of me now wants to give up and hide away until his words stop echoing in my mind...
I'll never make it on my own.
I can't handle being alone.
What man will ever want someone like me?
I'll come crawling back as soon as I realize nobody else will have me.
I never appreciated how good I had it.
I'm ungrateful and just don't understand anything.
If I'm going to "live off the government", then I should get used to people thinking I'm trash.
*sigh*
There's a part of me that believes those things still.
But...there's a stronger part of me...that knows different.
take a page out of my book, you must.
granted giving mom 600 to hold. big mistake. learn from the mistake.
Buying $20 sundaes every day? cut that off. tell her "you want it get it yourself."
quit taking them out to dinner, you did it now it is time for them to do it. they wont do it then no more out to dinner for them.
granted giving mom 600 to hold. big mistake. learn from the mistake.
Buying $20 sundaes every day? cut that off. tell her "you want it get it yourself."
quit taking them out to dinner, you did it now it is time for them to do it. they wont do it then no more out to dinner for them.
Oh no.. you had it exactly right.... she was picking on my size because that's what she does when she is mad... Her dad is a big guy and when she gets mad the first thing she does is calls him fat Jeff cause she thinks its gonna hurt him , but of course he doesn't care. I don't particularly care what she calls me either.... I was just commenting about it on here while she was still fussing at me to take my mind away from all the cussing . Sometimes I get fed up and fuss back with her , but its usually when she is disrespecting her family. It wasn't something I came home and cried about or even am bothered by , but I figured hey.. it's whats on my mind.. might as well comment..lol
The devil loves to use lies to discourage us when we're about to do something good. His words were meant to hurt you , but they weren't true. You know the part about no one wanting you was a lie.... remember the dude at the swing among other things.... from what I've seen of you you have a awesomely weird mind and I say that in the best way possible.... You're gonna do fine without him . Keep on keeping on my sister.