Holy Spirit or evil spirit who is talking to my wife

[kr]

My wife of 1.5 years is convinced I'm not being faithful in our marriage. She is a deeply committed and faithful Christian. There has been four or five incident where she believe I've done something wrong. I have presented to here hard evidence and documentation that prove she is mistaken. She either refuse to believe the evidence or refuse to look at it all together. At her segestion I aggread to to take a polygraph and agreed to answer any question she my have. I paid for it and she canceled it after I told her I wanted her to take the same test. She said she don't need a test and my inappropriate behavior was confirmed though the holy sprit.

I know she is100% wrong in regard to the issues. Anything short of a conffesion is unacceptable to her.

Now she has filed for devoice.

I have prayed and ask God for guidance and to show me where I have failed.

My wife recalls hearing from the holy sprit every since she was a child and with the latest accusation of inappropriate behavior I suggest that may that is not the holy spirit talking to her. I don't believe the holy spirit will tell her something that is not true.

As I expected she attacted me, saying God will punish me for my blasphemy words and spoke of bad things that will happen me.

Was I wrong for suggesting that may not have been the holy spirit that spoke to her?

It looks like our marriage is going to end because of things that is not true.

I will continue to pray.

Thanks for listening.

God bless

 

[damombomb]

How did she say the Holy Spirit spoke to her? Vision, dream, audible voice?

 

[kr]

She would pray about the issues and would get a strong deep gut conviction about the issue. This is how he speaks to her most of the time. No dreams, visions or voices.

 

[Nautilus]

Honestly it sounds like this divorce may be saving you from years of dealing with crazy.

 

[brokenclay]

Your wife might have schizophrenia. I would read up about this disorder. And this idea of her not trusting you could be a result of her having done something in the past and now may think it will happen to her. This happened to a friend of mine. He was accused of exactly what his wife was doing. She was schizophrenic and has gotten worse because she wont take the meds she needs to stop the delusions. They are divorced. Both are Christians and their 3 children are believers as well and also suffer from schizophrenia. Praying you will find the real cause behind this behaviour of your wife. Larry

 

[Dleigho]

If she is a deeply committed Christian then she should listen to a couple of the following points.
1. Divorce isn't the answer.
2. She needs to submit to you as the husband.
3. The bible says to test spirits so you're not deceived

Even if you had done something hurtful, she should make an effort to reconcile with you.

Going to counseling together can help uncover issues that may be leading her to feel negatively about your relationship. Also fasting and prayer is very effective in desperate situations like these. Don't give up on her, and if you're trying to defend yourself, she may feel like you're covering something up. Try explaining to her why you are faithful to her, why you love her etc. A letter may be more effective than a face to face conversation, if she seems unwilling to listen. She may just want to see if you're willing to fight for her, to prove to herself that you're faithful and serious about the marriage or if you'll let her go easily. It's hard to know exactly, since I don't know your wife, but those are a few things that come to mind.

 

[Dan58]

You married a nut, run. Your wife has falsely judged you, the Holy Spirit hasn't revealed anything to her. She also threatened that God would punish you for blasphemy, while she condemns an innocent man. She refused a polygraph while demanding that you comply? She has trust issues at the very least, and even if you passed a polygraph, it wouldn't satisfy her. She's condemned you with zero evidence, she's delusional and paranoid. Life's too short, run kr run.. jmo

 

[presidente]

I'm responding to the opening post.

Blaspheming the Holy Spirit is the unpardonable sin. False prophecy is also a sin, serious enough to have a death penalty attached to it in the Old Testament. The Lord judges what is what.

If she is claiming that the Holy Spirit told her that you had sexual relations with a woman when you did not, that's a very serious thing. If I were in that situation, I would confront her with just how serious that is and warn her about the unpardonable sin. Don't admit to something you didn't do. It sounds like it could be a lose-lose situation for you. But there is more to lose if you lie, and if you go along with her idea that the Holy Spirit revealed something He didn't You'd have to stand before God for wilfully doing that just to placate your wife's emotions. That would be a horrible thing to do, and a very ungodly form of cowardice, IMO.

You could also point out to her the problem with her being deceived about something like this, and how it could be a demonic strategy to break up a Christian marriage.

You should also examine your own heart. It's possible you looked with lust or entertained wicked thoughts and the Lord let your wife in on that. That can happen, too. If that's the case, you should confess your sin. And if she knows about it, confess to her, too.

 

[presidente]

There could be some mental issues involved. I also know of a marriage where the man kept accusing his wife of adultery until they divorced after being married for decades. He said his first wife had cheated on him, and he had affairs while living with his second wife. Maybe he was 'projecting' that on his wife. The 'spirit of jealousy' is also mentioned in the Old Testament.

If I were you, I'd point out to her that a woman divorcing her husband has no basis in scripture and wouldn't be considered valid under the law revealed in scripture. I might try to get a pastor involved to do counseling and to try to reason with her. You want someone solid in the word and kind of 'fair' not the kind who always assumes the man is guilty of adultery. Also, someone who believes in wives submitting to their husbands. There is a new 'narrative' out there when it comes to marriage that some authors, 'Christian counselors' and pastors promote that involves the wife doing something drastic, like threatening divorce or divorcing, to bring about some change in her husband. Sometimes it's for much smaller things than adultery. The idea is to get the husband to submit to the wives agenda.

If she really wants to divorce and she's moved out and filed papers, that's a serious situation. Don't compromise your integrity and sin to get her back. (You can read Job about temptation to compromise your integrity. His friends were trying to get him to admit to things he didn't do. His wife was trying to get him to curse God and die.) If your wife threatens divorce as some kind of power play (in this case to get you to admit to something you did not do) you have to be careful about giving in. In your case, I don't see how you have any choice, ethically, except NOT to give in. It's one thing to lie, which is bad. It's even worse if you are lying about the Holy Spirit. You don't want to contribute to that if you are completely innocent of her charges. If she says she will divorce and you forbid it and say you don't believe she will because she fears God, that may put an end to it. If it's only something she throws up in conversation, you might turn out better if you just say she won't divorce rather than acting all scared, begging, or starting to jump through hoops not to get her to threaten divorce. If she sees that you jump through hoops for her not to divorce you, she may come up with more hoops if she has some serious control issues. If she mentions divorce, that's an issue you have to revisit later. She needs to apologize for throwing that out at some point. The relationship is not back to normal unless that is resolved, IMO. Threatening divorce is not cool. It's not okay. You say you haven't cheated on her. She shouldn't be doing that. She's wronging you, and your position, if that is the case, should be that she has done you wrong and that is not okay. And the issue still needs to be resolved. At some point, she should apologize and acknowledge she shouldn't threaten divorce.

Her demanding you take a polygraph and not taking one herself creates a really bad dynamic. If she's not guilty of anything, that may be a really controlling thing to do. It may point to a really bad power dynamic in the marriage, where she blows up or gets upset about something and you do stuff to placate her, and she always gets her way. That's not good as far as the headship and submission aspects of the marriage go.

If I were in your shoes, I might tell her that since she thinks the Holy Spirit is telling her things about you that you plainly know to be false, that she has 0 credibility in your eyes when it comes to saying what the Holy Spirit said, and encourage her to submit to you as her husband, since the Lord can lead her in that way. If a pastor and other Christians you bring in to help can also point out her error, maybe there is a chance she will open up some. II Corinthians 10 spiritual warfare has to do with casting down imaginations. It has to do with ideas, possibly even arguments and thoughts. It might even help if you had someone minister to the both of you who had some experience with deliverance if she needs some help in that area.

That being said, do consider whether you may have sinned in your heart and that she's picking up on it. Jesus said that he that looks at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her in his heart. If she mentioned women you'd looked at with lust, you should consider that. If she said the Lord told her you had sex with them when you hadn't, that's another matter. Or if she chose women you had no attraction to at all and you know you haven't sinned in regard to them, that's also another matter.

Btw, if you know anyone who is genuinely gifted in prophecy and related gifts that she respects, you might bring that person into the situation to counsel and pray with you. If she believes the person hears God, and he gets a word of rebuke for her, that might cut through some of the junk in her mind.

 

[Patnubay]

Honestly it sounds like this divorce may be saving you from years of dealing with crazy.

I definitely agree..

 

[Yowie]

If what she's saying is a lie, then it's not of Christ. You don't have to worry about arguing that. It is what it is.
It sounds like she may have mental illness or is running by her emotions rather than God, or both if she truly believes what she's saying. Or she could be projecting her own stuff on to you. My ex-wife accused me of infidelity or wanting it for years and would say things like she thinks I'm going to have a mid-life crisis, then she ended up being the one who had an affair and what looks to me like a mid-life crisis.

I believe somewhere along the line God tests everything by fire and then it will be seen for it's purity or lack thereof and for what it's really made of (wood, hay & straw or gold, silver & precious stones).

 

[kr]

There may be some truth to what your saying. I just found out that once again my wife has been comuncating with an old boy friend. This is one of three old lovers that she has been communicating with thoughtout our dating period and throughout our marriage. One of them she had sex with while we were dating. She told me she was done but every few months I would discover she was at it again. Sometime I would just ask her and she would admitt to it, thinking I may have discovered it on my own. She even confide with them about issues in our marriage. I've asked her to stop and it will just reservice again and again. One of the guys she cheeted with while we were dating, one of the other guys she admitted to having feeling of wanting to be with sexualy and the other one and most recent, my wife suggest they meet to just talk, from his response I can tell he wanted more. I could go on, but I will end with saying I believe she have met up with at least two of these guys.

One day I asked her while we were having an argument "are you going to continue communicating with these guys even if it ment our family will be destroyed, she pause and said Yes". Unbelievable I said. Anther time she said she would stop only if I start making better choices.

She recently told me that god has told her to forgive me and I'm thing, what have I done. I believe she maybe have second thought about the devoice. Unfortunately i'm having second thoughts too, I now want the devoice. She still don't trust me and at the same time she is still doing her mess.

I don't get it I was hopful that I would grow old with this woman.

She don't know I know about her recent conversations with her previous lover. My trust bucket for her is just about empty. My heart is at ease with this because even though I haven't caught her in the act, I have strong evidence she may have met up with them. I am 100% sure she been talking to one of them and asked him to come see her " to talk" as she say.

From a Christian prospective is this divoive justified? Please I need some sound advice.

To be fare, I haven't been perfect and need to disclose my junk. Earlie in our dating (3 Months) I had an encounter with an old girlfriend. My wife found out about this and was really hurt. She reacted and had an encounter with her ex. By the time she found out I was committed to her. I prayed about this, repented and asked for Gods forgiveness and grace. I shared this with my wife asked for her for her forgiveness. I have not had any conversation with this ex girl friend again. She emailed me three time and I presses delete, delete, and the third time I replied "I'm married now". My wife know about this.

My wife also discovered I was watching porn from time to time. I was not an addiction. From time to time we would watch it together so I though it would be OK. I admitted to it, prayed that God would remove these erges, and he did. Today I have not been to any porn site. Prays God for that deliverance.

These thing still come up as issues in our marriage, however I don't believe she believe I've grown.

She occasionally refers to me as a baby Christian and maybe that's why we are having these issues.

We have kids from her previous marriage and I love the with all my heart.

The tide has changed. This is a marriage I no longer want to be in.

 

[Ugly]

Ah. I had a feeling she was the one involved with someone else. Often times people accuse others of what they themselves are guilty or. They assume since they are a certain way, then everyone else must be as well. So there's the truth. God is speaking to her alright, but it's conviction over her own life, not yours. She's just not willing to own up to it.

But early in your relationship you screwed up.

Sounds like you both are to blame. For your actions and her actions and both holding on to the past. You guys are all kinds of a mess. Throw some porn into the mix. Its like a Christian Jerry Springer episode. 0.0

 

[dabodab]

KR, your story is not unique. Many marriages suffer from both repentant and unrepentant sexual sins, some are worse of course but nevertheless hurtful to one another and harmful to the marriage union.

I'm sorry for what you and your wide have endured. It's tough stuff but not necessarily Jerry Springer stuff. Don't accept that!

Anyways Jerry Springer aside, do you love this woman? Apostle Paul has told us in 1Corr:13 that Love never fails. Consider having a sit-down with your wife and a third party non-family unbiased Christian and ask questions of one another regarding love. It may mean putting your pride aside to save your marriage.

Some honest advice, we cannot even love one another without Jesus. In today's throw-away society we are confronted at every turn with those who just want out of suffering, hurt, anguish and discomfort. Really, these things should not be shunned if we are to grow.

Good job at being honest here, especially your last post. You don't have to give up. Maybe set some ground rules until a decision to move on in a particular direction has been made definitively. Take some time for prayer and also counsel from Christian men at your church.

Don't delay. Take action with counseling and setting up a plan, even if it's a short term small plan.

Ending a marriage is devastating even when you think there is a good reason to do so.

God Bless, Brother.

 

[presidente]

There may be some truth to what your saying. I just found out that once again my wife has been comuncating with an old boy friend. This is one of three old lovers that she has been communicating with thoughtout our dating period and throughout our marriage. One of them she had sex with while we were dating. She told me she was done but every few months I would discover she was at it again. Sometime I would just ask her and she would admitt to it, thinking I may have discovered it on my own. She even confide with them about issues in our marriage. I've asked her to stop and it will just reservice again and again. One of the guys she cheeted with while we were dating, one of the other guys she admitted to having feeling of wanting to be with sexualy and the other one and most recent, my wife suggest they meet to just talk, from his response I can tell he wanted more. I could go on, but I will end with saying I believe she have met up with at least two of these guys.

If I were you, I'd confront her about this. I'd ask her why she thinks the lies she hears are from the Holy Spirit if she is living a life like this, flirting with sin and temptation. I'd also be asking for passwords and have it worked out where she knew I'd be checking her computer and phone. And I'd probably pay each of these men a visit to discuss staying away from her. You'd have to do with wisdom to avoid a physical confrontation. If they weren't cooperative, I might visit their wives, girlfriends, parents or pastors or even employers if they are using office equipment to contact your wife them know what's going on so they'd have someone else giving them good advice.

She recently told me that god has told her to forgive me and I'm thing, what have I done. I believe she maybe have second thought about the devoice. Unfortunately i'm having second thoughts too, I now want the devoice. She still don't trust me and at the same time she is still doing her mess.

I think I'd study the Bible with her and remind her that she's dead wrong (if she is), and warn her about blaspheming the Holy Spirit and the fact that falsely prophesying in the name of the Lord is such a serious sin that God had people put to death for it in the Old Testament. If what she said the Holy Spirit told her could relate to porn use, you need to consider that before you go this route. If you've been looking at porn and lusting after the women in the porn, and she got a word about some sexual immorality in your life, then you need to consider that could be something genuine. If she says you've had sex with women when you know you haven't, that's a different story. You could also point out that she may 'projecting' if she's guilty about her own thoughts.

She don't know I know about her recent conversations with her previous lover. My trust bucket for her is just about empty. My heart is at ease with this because even though I haven't caught her in the act, I have strong evidence she may have met up with them. I am 100% sure she been talking to one of them and asked him to come see her " to talk" as she say.

If she accuses you again, that may be a good time to bring it up, and forbid her from talking to the men, and let her know not to do it if she takes your marriage seriously.

From a Christian prospective is this divoive justified? Please I need some sound advice.

I wouldn't say so, but I do think your marriage is in a dangerous place. We human beings like to justify ourselves. She may be thinking she just wants to talk to these men as friends, maybe lying to herself. She may be more overt in her thoughts and think of lining up another man in case this thing doesn't work out, or there may be a whole lot more information she isn't talking about.

If you want to get some information about it, you could say, "I know about you and _____" the man she has been meeting.

I also think you should spend some time studying the Bible with her. Ephesians 5 talks about the husband loving his wife as Christ loved the church, and Christ washing the church with the water of the word. You could study the topic of marriage and divorce with her. Ephesians 5, Colossians 3, and I Peter 3 are passages that tell wives to submit to their husbands. That's relevant since you are telling her not to talk to old boyfriends. Her good sense and a desire to abstain from temptation should be enough, for her to know better but if you tell her not to, it's a submission issue as well. You can take her to Matthew 5, Matthew 19, other passages from the gospels, Romans 7 and I Corinthians 7 and show her that she is supposed to stay married to you for life. She could divorce you and marry anther, but that would be adultery. She needs to have that in mind. The possibilities for her are marriage, separating and celibacy (still disobedience), or variations on adultery (outright adultery acknowledge by society, or an adulterous remarriage.) If she wants to be right with GOd, that should be important to her.

To be fare, I haven't been perfect and need to disclose my junk. Earlie in our dating (3 Months) I had an encounter with an old girlfriend. My wife found out about this and was really hurt. She reacted and had an encounter with her ex. By the time she found out I was committed to her. I prayed about this, repented and asked for Gods forgiveness and grace. I shared this with my wife asked for her for her forgiveness. I have not had any conversation with this ex girl friend again. She emailed me three time and I presses delete, delete, and the third time I replied "I'm married now". My wife know about this.

My wife also discovered I was watching porn from time to time. I was not an addiction. From time to time we would watch it together so I though it would be OK. I admitted to it, prayed that God would remove these erges, and he did. Today I have not been to any porn site. Prays God for that deliverance.

This explains why she has some distrust.

 

[Angela53510]

Hearing voices that are lying, paranoia, and hyper sexuality are part of bipolar 1 symptoms. Your wife ends to see a psychiatrist and soon! This can be controlled with meds, but only if she is willing to stay on them.

In light of her unfaithfulness, coupled with her unjust accusations, you need to thnk hard about staying. Many bipolars go on and off of meds for years. Rarely do they stay married long.

I'm sorry to tell you this, but the handwriting is on the wall. If you want to stay and help her, I commend you. But my thought is that she is very stubborn, and believes God is speaking to her. She may never change, so you will have no choice but to leave, or stay and put up with her continued infidelities, lying and psychotics behaviours!

 

[Yowie]

You and her are forgiven and if you haven't already you need to forgive her and yourself. Easier said than done and I've found that forgiveness is not always a once off thing for someone and a situation or several situations. Sometimes you have to continuously do it. In saying that, it doesn't mean that those people we forgive change.

You're not her rescuer and she's not yours. I don't know how it's all played out with you guys, but if there's been any of that type of rescuing stuff in there it would be worth checking out if you have been co-dependent.

It also sounds to me like you're being mentally, emotionally and spiritually abused.

 

[im4gvn2]

there is only one cause that justifies a divorce dear brother. infidelity. your wife is showing signs of being tormented by a guilty conscience. tormentors are not holy, they are evil spirits. both of you are in dire need of prayer. if your marriage can be saved, save it. if the vows have been broken by her, let-it-go, and pray, that the peace of God guide your spirit in the path of love and forgiveness. remember, that we are to be forgiven in the same way that we forgive others. don't allow a root of bitterness bloom into a tree of anger. the branches of that unholy tree will extend into other areas of your life. God bless you both.

 

[Ariel82]

*****warning ZOMBIE THREAD!!!!!*****

 

[persontalkto]

You good, why would something that is supposed to lead people to wisdom tell her you cheated on her when you didn't, whatever she is hearing, is not what she thinks it is, and if she's so convinced by a disembodied voice that says things contrary to what is going on that she wants to divorce you, you can try to show her what is going on, you can even get someone she'd recognize as an authority on the topic to help you show her, but if she's convinced beyond help, it could be time for her to leave.