Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

[wwjd_kilden]

:/ praying

 

[homwardbound]

My mother called me a little while ago. She informed me that she would be more than willing to have my kids come live with her since I can't handle being a mom right now.

...

I never asked her to do that. I never told her I couldn't handle it. I can't even figure out why she thinks taking my kids away from me would even make any sense.

I said, "Thanks, but no thanks. We're fine."
She said I obviously need help.

Yes...but that isn't helpful. And I don't understand how, if she doesn't have the time now just to lend me a hand every so often, she would suddenly have the time to raise two small children.

She doesn't want to help me at all...everything she's done since March has been to cut me and pour salt in the wound.

I think I'm more angry about this latest slap in the face than the others combined. Take away something that makes me happy...I'll survive. Abandon me when I'm struggling...I'll survive. Tell me I'm not doing what a wife should do...whatever. But then, having done all this and contributed to the chaos and pain I'm experiencing now, to tell me that I am a bad mother BECAUSE I'm experiencing this pain and try to get me to give up my babies....

I'm done. If this is how things are going to go, if that's really what she thinks of me and how she's going to treat me...I've got to get out of here. These people are poison.

Sister, maybe take a different look, view at this.
Bottom line does Mom truly care, even though right now she does not see how to care, and does not see these actions of her are driving you away from her?
So maybe tell her that, which i am sure you did. But how did you tell her that, in the tone of ___________________ who are you to tell me this, and the ________________________ to talk to me, this way, was that in your tone, and what do these emotions do?
John 10:10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

So now that you might see this waht emotions are doing to you, the same is happening with Mom, you think?
So put one emotion on top of the other and what happens, fight, fight, fight, and no end, the relationship that was there is gone viral if any was there to begin with

When your Son is in School later on, and gets a good report card, excited over it, runs home to you to show you, has tracked mud on the carpet and floor you just waxed, not being aware of this, too excited to show you this good report, looking for approval, and so here he comes, tracking in this mud

How you going to react, Mad, angered, yell at him, before he shows you the report card?
Sound familiar Sister. This has happened to us all, and we get what depressed

Here is how I see it now, I can always re-wax the floor, re clean the carpet, but I might not always be able to rebuild the relationship, after harming the other
So in sincerity, maybe talk to Mom, asking god to give you the right words and be surprised at what gets said through you

 

[SAS]

I'll be praying for Raine.

 

[homwardbound]

William-
thank you it means a lot that you think so.

My mom wasn't always a bad mom...she had a lot of moments of awesomeness...which is where I learned it but, it might be time (as you and others have been telling me) to get away from her and my family. I can't change her, she can't change me, and we fight more than anything these days. We could both use some distance, I think.

Sister, when you are ready you are ready, and leave it at that you think?

 

[homwardbound]

I have so much on my mind today. So many prayers feel like they've been answered, and I think maybe I'm able to see where to go next. Granted, per my usual, having one question answered only leaves me with more questions...but now that I can take some kind of useful action, I feel better. More peaceful.

I wish that I was the kind of woman who could remain classy and even kind of elegant through pain and trials. I like to imagine myself on the big screen, black and white of course, wearing some satiny evening gown and elbow length gloves with my hair all twisted and pinned into a chignon...standing in the doorway of my mansion, with a crowd of rich people behind me drinking champagne while I stare, chin up, into the starry night...a tear escaping and rolling down my powdered and rouged cheek...

*sigh*
I'm just not that kind of girl. I'm messy, and dramatic, and I'm more likely to forget or not care about showering for a few days and I'm almost always in yoga pants and hoodies, and my hair prefers to be constantly falling out of the messy bun or braids I put in...and when I cry...there's no silent or pretty way to do it. It's hideous. Like a wounded walrus or something. And I have a tendency to flop face down on the floor to cry. And there's never champagne involved.

Now I kinda wish I owned an evening gown.

Or at least a mansion.

I set up another meeting with the pastor I talked to before.
I really wish I had some ice cream right now.

Sister, if I tell you, that you have a million dollars in the bank right now, will you beleive me?
If I showed you, that it is there, would you then believe me?
So once you know this, will you go to the tell;er and ask the teller how to withdraw this money when needed?

Or would you withdraw it as you need it, needing no pone else to lead you?

So you see, if do have all this and more, hidden or not hidden, in your new heart that is given you
For God promised to supply all your needs. Our problem is we do not always see clearly and have to ask the teller how to proceed, when we are in need
See in Spirit, Sister, will God come through or not? You do beleive I see

 

[homwardbound]

Yeah... when God says something strongly to you I view it as a revelation from God. He used you to display his will for MissCris. I think its awesome when we follow through with things like that because you can lift so many people up that way. Praise God.

That message is for all, to believe God and rest in this belief

Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Not this world's, all dressed up in amazing garbs, that appear righteous, when those that do this might not know truth, for is not God to be
[h=3]Hebrews 8:11[/h]Authorized (King James) Version (AKJV)

[SUP]11 [/SUP]and they shall not teach every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for all shall know me, from the least to the greatest.

So okay, listen to the tellers of this world and trust God for the discernment you think?

 

[tourist]

PRAYER REQUEST

User Raine has had headaches for 3 days and apparently it is much worse today. She is in severe pain. I'm not sure the cause. Dont think she is either. Last night at a clinic they suspected a viral infection. But dont think it was verified.
So please keep her in prayer.

She is certainly in my prayers.

 

[wwjd_kilden]

*buys and shares ice cream*
We'd make a great pair Miss, let's walk down a street in Paris in our pajamas

 

[MissCris]

*buys and shares ice cream*
We'd make a great pair Miss, let's walk down a street in Paris in our pajamas

Ohmygoodnessyes!!

Can we skip too? I kinda wanna skip.

 

[zaoman32]

when it rains it pours, am I right?

in a matter of just 24 hours I've gotten two people torqued off at me enough to not want to talk to me, my parents who I've been having to live with threatened to kick me out, and I had to take my kids back to their mom after spending five and a half days with them. Yes I always have to give them back to their mom, but being with me for that long, made it that much harder.

On top of all this, all this single lonely crap is really getting to me. At times I can live with it, at others I just get depressed and ticked off, and I get a short fuse.

freakin life.

 

[ww_21]

when it rains it pours, am I right?

in a matter of just 24 hours I've gotten two people torqued off at me enough to not want to talk to me, my parents who I've been having to live with threatened to kick me out, and I had to take my kids back to their mom after spending five and a half days with them. Yes I always have to give them back to their mom, but being with me for that long, made it that much harder.

On top of all this, all this single lonely crap is really getting to me. At times I can live with it, at others I just get depressed and ticked off, and I get a short fuse.

freakin life.

You know where to find me if you want to talk!! Praying for you.

 

[MissCris]

when it rains it pours, am I right?

in a matter of just 24 hours I've gotten two people torqued off at me enough to not want to talk to me, my parents who I've been having to live with threatened to kick me out, and I had to take my kids back to their mom after spending five and a half days with them. Yes I always have to give them back to their mom, but being with me for that long, made it that much harder.

On top of all this, all this single lonely crap is really getting to me. At times I can live with it, at others I just get depressed and ticked off, and I get a short fuse.

freakin life.

That all pretty much just...sucks
Truth, yo.

Sorry you're going through all that. Really. *hugs & prayers*

 

[Jilly81]

I command Raine's headache to leave now, in Jesus' Name! Virus that is causing her pain, leave her body now. Let her blood vessels not dilate improperly. In Jesus' Name, amen.

 

[tourist]

I command Raine's headache to leave now, in Jesus' Name! Virus that is causing her pain, leave her body now. Let her blood vessels not dilate improperly. In Jesus' Name, amen.

I am in agreement with you in this prayer.

 

[tourist]

That all pretty much just...sucks
Truth, yo.

Sorry you're going through all that. Really. *hugs & prayers*

Yeah, it sucks. That about sums it up for me too.

 

[Jilly81]

Oh dear, Mike . Astrid, Cristen and I are skipping down the street eating ice cream. Please feel free to join us. You will, however, have to listen to a kinda girly song. I invited myself to their party, justifying the crashing because I'm bringing the music, but at least it's only instrumental.

[video=youtube;0VqTwnAuHws]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VqTwnAuHws[/video]


Anyone else coming with us ?

 

[MissCris]

Oh dear, Mike . Astrid, Cristen and I are skipping down the street eating ice cream. Please feel free to join us. You will, however, have to listen to a kinda girly song. I invited myself to their party, justifying the crashing because I'm bringing the music, but at least it's only instrumental.

[video=youtube;0VqTwnAuHws]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VqTwnAuHws[/video]


Anyone else coming with us ?

Everybody is invited! I think that would be kinda epic- a whole bunch of grown men and women skipping down the streets of Paris.

 

[gypsygirl]

My hair appointment today took a total of 3.5 hours. I ended up getting it colored, a bit darker (though it's a tad darker than what I had imagined, that doesn't bother me too much because it'll fade). I've never had that done professionally before. Because I have SO MUCH Hair, it took 1.5 hours just to put the color on, and instead of the normal 1 bowl that most people need, my hair needed 3 bowl fulls of the color mixture. Then the color had to sit for half an hour, then get washed out (and what is it about salon stylists that can make hair washing feel SO GOOD, like a mini head massage), then cutting my hair takes more time.

I made the mistake of telling her 2 inches while it was wet, but when it dried, since my hair is curly and shrinks up when dry, I got closer to 4 inches off. But hey, I probably won't be getting my hair cut for a while so a few extra inches doesn't hurt.

I tipped her well because she did a great job and was patient with my head of hair. Plus, we did chat, but she also was okay being silent and so was I. I don't like constant forced chatting so that was relaxing.

Just in case anyone wanted 3 paragraphs on my hair experience.

hi rachel, this cracked me up.

i love that we are almost hair twins. everything you said, is the same for me. even though i have really fine hair, i have tons of it. except that (by your picture) you either wear your hair less curly than me, or that mine is more ethnically/curly than yours.

oh and i've also been burned with the length issues and i go in with an actual measurement of precisely how much i want. not that its the end of the day if they take more or less...

another thing that happens is i'll ask them to take 8" off or something like that, and they'll be:

do you know how much length that is?
are you sure?
do you realize your hair is going to be all the way up here?
do you know it's going to take you a while to grow that out?

YES REALLY!!!

 

[CatHerder]

I got a very nice response from the HR person for a teaching position that I applied for on line last night. I just stumbled upon it in the morning and saw the app deadline was last night, so I got it in on time...barely. He or she (I couldn't tell by the name) said s(h)e "sincerely hopes I will be chosen for an interview." My credential is current, but there are some other requirements not quite current to teach in CA. I am so glad that my God is bigger than the CA educational bureacracy.

 

[Loveneverfails]

Oh dear, Mike . Astrid, Cristen and I are skipping down the street eating ice cream. Please feel free to join us. You will, however, have to listen to a kinda girly song. I invited myself to their party, justifying the crashing because I'm bringing the music, but at least it's only instrumental.

[video=youtube;0VqTwnAuHws]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VqTwnAuHws[/video]


Anyone else coming with us ?

*perks up*

Did someone say group skipping?? I'M IN