For laughs - What you Don’t Want to Hear On A First Date

[Bloomingdaydreamer]

This is purely for fun. Unleash your creative comic side here. We are going to list three comedy lines that come from a guy or girl, saying something on a first date, things people really don’t want to hear. This is just for laughs, so lets keep this PG rated folks. Nothing inappropriate. Have fun.

I'll go first. Here's my list, coming from a guy.

1. Sorry I'm late. A cop pulled me over for speeding.
2. Yeah, I love animals too. I have about eight siblings back home.
3. So I have two Miley Cyrus concert tickets. Wanna go?

 

[jitterbug]

I'm wanted in nine states for parole violations.

 

[JoyfulFleur]

1. I work for the FBI and you're under arrest
2. You look just like my dog
3. I collect dead squirrels so that I can make taxidermies out of them

 

[Pipp]

1. The Dr said I'm all clear now.

2. How do you feel about being a sister wife ?

3. I think I found my missing rip.

 

[Ugly]

1 - I don't like ugly.
2 - My last 5 husbands all died in their sleep... the police still haven't figure it out *giggle
3 - Hi, my names Misty (i just insulted 3 CCers at once, that should count for something =P now they will all be wondering, muahahahahahahaaaa)

 

[Misty77]

1 - I don't like ugly.
2 - My last 5 husbands all died in their sleep... the police still haven't figure it out *giggle
3 - Hi, my names Misty (i just insulted 3 CCers at once, that should count for something =P now they will all be wondering, muahahahahahahaaaa)

classsssy.

 

[kayem77]

You remind me of my ex-girlfriend/wife.

I wish the Utah polygamy law was approved on a federal level.

Are you fertile?

Would you be okay with changing your Facebook relationship status to in a relationship with [insert guy's name here]? I'll be sending you the request tonight after you get home.

*Calls 20 minutes after date is over* I was just wondering if you missed me, because I do. Have you checked your Facebook already? I sent the request.

 

[GodIsSalvation]

1. You should meet my boyfriend

2. You should meet my son

3. Do you think I look fat? (I think every guy gets sick of this one whether its first date or not.)

 

[Ugly]

1. You should meet my boyfriend

2. You should meet my son

3. Do you think I look fat? (I think every guy gets sick of this one whether its first date or not.)

With all the single mothers here that 2nd one may get you in trouble =P

 

[GodIsSalvation]

With all the single mothers here that 2nd one may get you in trouble =P

Lol well if I were a single father I wouldn't have the second one in there, but I mean come on, cut me some slack man, I'm a 25 year old virgin lol. Ain't looking to raise anyone's kid, either looking to have one of my own or have none at all. Sorry single moms. But at least I told ya up front.

Plus to be honest with ya, if my mom divorced or cheated on my dad and was seeing someone else I'd be thinking some awfully murderous thoughts about that guy. So I don't want to do that to some kid.

 

[Ugly]

Lol well if I were a single father I wouldn't have the second one in there, but I mean come on, cut me some slack man, I'm a 25 year old virgin lol. Ain't looking to raise anyone's kid, either looking to have one of my own or have none at all. Sorry single moms. But at least I told ya up front.

Plus to be honest with ya, if my mom divorced or cheated on my dad and was seeing someone else I'd be thinking some awfully murderous thoughts about that guy. So I don't want to do that to some kid.

Wow... just wow...

 

[GodIsSalvation]

Wow... just wow...

Lol what wows you brother?

1. Loyalty

2. Chastity

3. Honesty

?

 

[kenthomas27]

3. I collect dead squirrels so that I can make taxidermies out of them

You know, with the right guy there's a lot of good things that can happen with dead squirrels.....



please don't be close minded.

 

[Pipp]

1 - I don't like ugly.
2 - My last 5 husbands all died in their sleep... the police still haven't figure it out *giggle
3 - Hi, my names Misty (i just insulted 3 CCers at once, that should count for something =P now they will all be wondering, muahahahahahahaaaa)

:O oh no you didn't.......

 

[MartyrNdaMaKn]

I know we just met, but you look like a suitable replacement to take care of my kids and me.

You never told me where you lived on are date, so I decided to follow you home. Say what?

I' am a wanted fugitive do you mind if I hide out and your place.

 

[Ugly]

:O oh no you didn't.......

Oh. I did. I went there. =P

 

[Ugly]

Lol what wows you brother?

1. Loyalty

2. Chastity

3. Honesty

?

Ignorance.

 

[ww_21]

"My wife"
"My soon to be ex wife"
"My girlfriend"
"Are you a virgin"

 

[GodIsSalvation]

Ignorance.

Ah, well that's why I would desire Loyalty, Chastity, and Honesty. Nothing ignorant about those three things.

 

[todo]

Lol well if I were a single father I wouldn't have the second one in there, but I mean come on, cut me some slack man, I'm a 25 year old virgin lol. Ain't looking to raise anyone's kid, either looking to have one of my own or have none at all. Sorry single moms. But at least I told ya up front.

Plus to be honest with ya, if my mom divorced or cheated on my dad and was seeing someone else I'd be thinking some awfully murderous thoughts about that guy. So I don't want to do that to some kid.

I grew up with a stepdad and didn't have a strong relationship with my dad until i started college. If it wasn't for my stepdad I would have grown up with no male figure in my life. I understand where you are coming from, but you are missing out on some amazing ladies and a chance to change/be a childs life.