I've been thinking on posting this somewhere, and I wasn't sure where or how exactly to word it.
I've been depressed for a very long time, extending to maybe more than a few months. I've browsed this thread some times and I've seen many of you go through dark periods as well.
Today, I post because I think I finally can give a word of encouragement.
I always come here on Christian chat and park myself in the prayer room and in there, I've prayed for many people, made many friends etc.
I always find it amazing how God answers those prayers and to see God working in the lives of others gives me great joy and hope. Prayer works! It was another thing that I was struggling by myself and I felt that God didn't care about those little aspects of my life. He only bothered about the big things. (or so I thought)
I was soon becoming half the person I used to be.
Both personally and professionally things were not going the way I thought they should.
In the midst of all this, I found myself questioning God. My faith was very weak, and I am a very critical person anyway. I would read the Bible and think , "oh this could be a solution to this..." "God should have done this..."
One day God showed me something about the Israelites as they were escaping from Egpyt. They were always worried and scared. They didn't trust God enough to take care of them, even when He was leading them as a pillar of fire.
I realized that my attitude was just like them. I thought God didn't care.
The Israelites also thought of other “solutions” that God could have employed and hence they complained to Him. They were always grumbling. And so God made them wander the wilderness for 40 years.
Once I realized this, I repented and asked God for forgiveness. I didn't want to be in the desert for long!
Today as I was reading Matthew, I read how Jesus was vexed with the people. He would say, “you unbelieving , godless people!” “how little faith you have ”
And when he was in Nazareth, his own hometown, he didn't perform many miracles, because they didn't have much faith. Time and again, he chastised the disciples and the people, for not having enough faith.
Life is about faith. When the dark clouds are overhead, and everything seems extremely bleak, I see now that you have to look straight ahead at Jesus, and walk on the water.
There's no turning back and no mourning the losses. People come and go, but your faith and hope rest in the Lord.
AND He is faithful! He hears our prayers! I COMPLETELY trust that He will bring me out of all the things I struggle with. I see that happening even as I type. Doors are opening for me and God is healing my family. God is even blessing me with things that I never even asked for. All in a span of the moment I submitted everything to God.
I know sometimes, in these forums, I've come across as irascible and waspish but it's only because some people are absolutely Machiavellian.
It's easy to get frustrated and angered, because we all hold different views on different topics. I am learning to let such things go as well. I can't stop thanking God! He has been amazing and so good to me.
I hope this encourages you. Even trusting in God is like an act of obedience. Do it, even if you feel like there is no silver lining. Obey God and submit to Him. When there is sin in our lives and we rebel against God, we might find ourselves wandering the desert. Whatever it is, that is holding you back and causing you to doubt and lose faith, give that up.
Or even if you are like Joseph, waiting in slavery, don't get worried or scared. In HIS time, He will deliver you. In that perfect time.
He WILL take you out of that darkness.
Meanwhile,
Isaiah 40:31
but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shallmount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary;they shall walk and not faint.
God bless you.