Do you ever feel envious of those who have kids?
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I am not, because there has never, in my memory, been a single second of my life in which I wanted children. Not that I'm against kids or anything... after all, I was one once. 
But I don't want any of my own.
I was once babysitting a little kid of about 4 or so, and he suddenly stopped playing and asked me, "Do you have kids?" I said no. He looked up at me very seriously, paused, and said "...you should."
I assume it was his way of saying that I was good with kids. I guess he would know better than anyone, lol. I still don't want kids though.
But I don't want any of my own.I was once babysitting a little kid of about 4 or so, and he suddenly stopped playing and asked me, "Do you have kids?" I said no. He looked up at me very seriously, paused, and said "...you should."
I assume it was his way of saying that I was good with kids. I guess he would know better than anyone, lol. I still don't want kids though.
i don't think envy is a word i'd use.
i think there's a fairly significant part of me who enjoys and appreciates having kids in her life. for that reason i'm rather involved in a jr. high girls group, which provides for me significant opportunities to spend time, develop relationships and invest in their lives.
i'm pretty sure that i get more out of the relationships than they do.
i personally have never been driven to give birth to kids, but i do have a heart for adoption and foster kids. i am interested in possibly being a foster parent/adoption at some point.
but i know i could be rather content if things don't work out that way.
also, i've dated a couple guys with kids and have found them to be more of a bonus than i anticipated.
i think there's a fairly significant part of me who enjoys and appreciates having kids in her life. for that reason i'm rather involved in a jr. high girls group, which provides for me significant opportunities to spend time, develop relationships and invest in their lives.
i'm pretty sure that i get more out of the relationships than they do.
i personally have never been driven to give birth to kids, but i do have a heart for adoption and foster kids. i am interested in possibly being a foster parent/adoption at some point.
but i know i could be rather content if things don't work out that way.
also, i've dated a couple guys with kids and have found them to be more of a bonus than i anticipated.
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T
Hmmm... That's a good question. I don't know if envious is the right word but there are certainly times I reflect on how great it would to be married and have some of my own (I adore my friends' kids, cousins' kids etc.). I live with one foot in the adult world and one foot in the world of children. Children are often amazed by my imagination. I understand kids and they understand me (sometimes they don't but that's a rarity). People often say that I'm good with kids or would make a great dad. So, I see it as a real blessing, a gift from God.
I
I have never been envious. Not even slightly.
I agree with many of the above posts. I never wanted my own biological children. Some of this is due to not wanting to put the woman I love through all that physical/mental pain & stress on her. I have zero drive to pass on my DNA. lol
With that said,I have no problem with adoption if that's what the Lord led me to do,and no issues at all with being with a woman who has children. I can/could/would love them as my own because they are an extension of her. Period.
I agree with many of the above posts. I never wanted my own biological children. Some of this is due to not wanting to put the woman I love through all that physical/mental pain & stress on her. I have zero drive to pass on my DNA. lol
With that said,I have no problem with adoption if that's what the Lord led me to do,and no issues at all with being with a woman who has children. I can/could/would love them as my own because they are an extension of her. Period.
I have nothing but the utmost respect for parents and those who want to be parents.
But can I also admit that to see a few others here who don't want kids either makes me breathe a sigh of relief?
I went to a Lutheran high school where marriage and having kids was basically seen as a status symbol--it was kind of a race to see who could get engaged first, go on to have kids as soon and as many as possible... (One of my classmates, at least got her wish: soon after their first child turned 2, she had triplets.)
In my teens, I was not interested in having kids AT ALL. The other girls thought I was a freak.
When I got married at 23, being with the person I was so in love with changed my mind. Since I am adopted myself (and since my husband had adopted siblings), I wanted two kids by adoption and two by birth, if possible. But none of that worked out. You can imagine how I felt when he moved on to marry someone else and have children with her.
Because I have no information or way of knowing about my history and have no biological relatives, it does make me sad that I will never have children (God can do anything, I know, but I no longer have the desire), especially when I see how "alike" so many parents and children are. My whole life I've always wondered if I "look" like anyone or if I "take" after anyone or if any of my quirks were "passed down" to me. Now of course, I know very well that having biological ties doesn't mean you'll look like your family or take after them either. I guess I was just hoping for a type of connection with someone that I only read or hear about because I've often felt so disconnected in my life.
I did have the opportunity to raise a boyfriend's children for 3 years, so I had a glimpse of what parents face. I love to see happy parents and kids together and feel a twinge of sadness because I don't have that in my life, but I sure don't envy all the stress and pressure parents feel to make the right choices.
But can I also admit that to see a few others here who don't want kids either makes me breathe a sigh of relief?
I went to a Lutheran high school where marriage and having kids was basically seen as a status symbol--it was kind of a race to see who could get engaged first, go on to have kids as soon and as many as possible... (One of my classmates, at least got her wish: soon after their first child turned 2, she had triplets.)
In my teens, I was not interested in having kids AT ALL. The other girls thought I was a freak.
When I got married at 23, being with the person I was so in love with changed my mind. Since I am adopted myself (and since my husband had adopted siblings), I wanted two kids by adoption and two by birth, if possible. But none of that worked out. You can imagine how I felt when he moved on to marry someone else and have children with her.
Because I have no information or way of knowing about my history and have no biological relatives, it does make me sad that I will never have children (God can do anything, I know, but I no longer have the desire), especially when I see how "alike" so many parents and children are. My whole life I've always wondered if I "look" like anyone or if I "take" after anyone or if any of my quirks were "passed down" to me. Now of course, I know very well that having biological ties doesn't mean you'll look like your family or take after them either. I guess I was just hoping for a type of connection with someone that I only read or hear about because I've often felt so disconnected in my life.
I did have the opportunity to raise a boyfriend's children for 3 years, so I had a glimpse of what parents face. I love to see happy parents and kids together and feel a twinge of sadness because I don't have that in my life, but I sure don't envy all the stress and pressure parents feel to make the right choices.
I admit that it is sometimes hard for me to be around all the preggers at church and lifegroup. First-time parents are pretty easy to celebrate with; but with pregnancy #3 and #4, it really hurts unless I am really, really close to the parents. I wanted a big family—4 or 5 kids. That proverb about the empty womb never being satisfied is painfully real to me.
I love my son to pieces, and I can't imagine the burden of single-parenting more than one. Retrospectively, it is a blessing that X and I only share parenting of one child. But the decision was not mine. X INFORMED me that we weren't having more children. There was no discussion. He just walked in and said, "We've already f-ed up one kid. Let's not do it to another." It was like he had simultaneously ripped out my heart and my uterus and stomped them on the ground. And the timing was cruel because I was about to head out the door to go to a "Support the Orphans"-type of event.
Even through the despair, God comforted me that there would always be children in my life that I could love. Since then, I have welcomed a family with 5 children into my home when they were homeless; and a little girl and her mom lived with me for about 6 months while saving money to move back to Brazil. Since I will still be in my 30s when my son becomes an adult (I was 21 when he was born), I want to foster parent in my 40s. Of course, I would love to be married and have more children, though I have to keep in mind that in just 2 years, any pregnancy will be considered high-risk. Even so, whomever I marry will have to share a love for children and a heart to rescue those that need a home.
I love my son to pieces, and I can't imagine the burden of single-parenting more than one. Retrospectively, it is a blessing that X and I only share parenting of one child. But the decision was not mine. X INFORMED me that we weren't having more children. There was no discussion. He just walked in and said, "We've already f-ed up one kid. Let's not do it to another." It was like he had simultaneously ripped out my heart and my uterus and stomped them on the ground. And the timing was cruel because I was about to head out the door to go to a "Support the Orphans"-type of event.
Even through the despair, God comforted me that there would always be children in my life that I could love. Since then, I have welcomed a family with 5 children into my home when they were homeless; and a little girl and her mom lived with me for about 6 months while saving money to move back to Brazil. Since I will still be in my 30s when my son becomes an adult (I was 21 when he was born), I want to foster parent in my 40s. Of course, I would love to be married and have more children, though I have to keep in mind that in just 2 years, any pregnancy will be considered high-risk. Even so, whomever I marry will have to share a love for children and a heart to rescue those that need a home.
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Other.
Do I someday want to be married and have children of my own? Definitely. I want to be married for at least a couple of years (if not more) before having children, and my desire for a husband isn't just "to have babies". I want my husband and I to experience married life together without children first. But, that's besides the point.
On the other hand, I am not particularly envious of people with kids right at this moment in my life. I suppose it's because I'm selfish and enjoy my freedom and independence. After a long day at work, I can come home and relax, or hang out with friends. Not that I can choose otherwise (I am not married or fostering so it's not like I can just up and have a child anyway) but at this point in my life, I'm not ready to give up that freedom just yet. When I become a mother, obviously I very much will have made the decision to be ready for my life to change. But since I'm not even close to that right now, then I'm not envious or wishful. I don't know if that makes sense.
Do I someday want to be married and have children of my own? Definitely. I want to be married for at least a couple of years (if not more) before having children, and my desire for a husband isn't just "to have babies". I want my husband and I to experience married life together without children first. But, that's besides the point.
On the other hand, I am not particularly envious of people with kids right at this moment in my life. I suppose it's because I'm selfish and enjoy my freedom and independence. After a long day at work, I can come home and relax, or hang out with friends. Not that I can choose otherwise (I am not married or fostering so it's not like I can just up and have a child anyway) but at this point in my life, I'm not ready to give up that freedom just yet. When I become a mother, obviously I very much will have made the decision to be ready for my life to change. But since I'm not even close to that right now, then I'm not envious or wishful. I don't know if that makes sense.
I am not, because there has never, in my memory, been a single second of my life in which I wanted children. Not that I'm against kids or anything... after all, I was one once. But I don't want any of my own.
I was once babysitting a little kid of about 4 or so, and he suddenly stopped playing and asked me, "Do you have kids?" I said no. He looked up at me very seriously, paused, and said "...you should."
I assume it was his way of saying that I was good with kids. I guess he would know better than anyone, lol. I still don't want kids though.
But I don't want any of my own.I was once babysitting a little kid of about 4 or so, and he suddenly stopped playing and asked me, "Do you have kids?" I said no. He looked up at me very seriously, paused, and said "...you should."
I assume it was his way of saying that I was good with kids. I guess he would know better than anyone, lol. I still don't want kids though.
I
Envy is a sin, so no, I don't envy anybody for anything. I don't really care. If God wants me to have kids, I'll have kids, if not, then I won't. I like kids as long as they are not mine n' thank God, I get several chances to serve kids at my church. But I don't know, maybe if I ever have my own I'll realize it's an amazing thing to have because God will put this love in me for them. I don't know. I don't have kids, so I don't know how it feels to have kids!!
I don't really care. If God wants me to have kids, I'll have kids, if not, then I won't. I like kids as long as they are not mine n' thank God, I get several chances to serve kids at my church. But I don't know, maybe if I ever have my own I'll realize it's an amazing thing to have because God will put this love in me for them. I don't know. I don't have kids, so I don't know how it feels to have kids!!