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S
The threat of hell doesn't mean that it refers to the Old Covenant. Christ will tell many "Christians" these very words.
Matthew 7
And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, you that work iniquity.
Romans 6
1 What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?
[SUP]2 [/SUP]God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?
[SUP]3 [/SUP]Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death?
[SUP]4 [/SUP]Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.
God forbid. That's the exact verbiage.
Christ himself says anyone who looks upon another woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. That's not the old covenant, that's the new covenant.
You can tell yourself that your behavior is acceptable all you want, but it isn't. You're using grace as a free license to sin, which is absolutely horrifying.
I think you are mired in sexual sin. It explains why you were so fascinated with the spoils of war and carrying women off in another thread, and why you openly admit to watching pornography.
Op, ignore this man, he's giving you horrible advice.
Ladies, ignore this man. He does not represent what a Christian man should be. Most of us would never pressure you for pornography in the bedroom!
Matthew 7
And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, you that work iniquity.
Romans 6
1 What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?
[SUP]2 [/SUP]God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?
[SUP]3 [/SUP]Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death?
[SUP]4 [/SUP]Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.
God forbid. That's the exact verbiage.
Christ himself says anyone who looks upon another woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. That's not the old covenant, that's the new covenant.
You can tell yourself that your behavior is acceptable all you want, but it isn't. You're using grace as a free license to sin, which is absolutely horrifying.
I think you are mired in sexual sin. It explains why you were so fascinated with the spoils of war and carrying women off in another thread, and why you openly admit to watching pornography.
Op, ignore this man, he's giving you horrible advice.
Ladies, ignore this man. He does not represent what a Christian man should be. Most of us would never pressure you for pornography in the bedroom!
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M
Don't feel like you have to settle for what small,insignificant contribution crumb of love he eventually gives you. Leave him. No body can survive living like that. He knows exactly what he's doing to you. He's just playing games and you shouldn't have to play them if your the mother of his child. He's not a man, he's a little boy. He needs to grow up on his own because you catering to him just feeds his addiction more.
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Z
They're in here constantly and easy to recognize, most people (especially on here) aren't going to be deceived by them. Correct once, and as they start an argument, ignore. There's no point, all you're going to do is cause a huge fight, make them laugh because your getting bent out of shape, and make a joke of the whole thread.
Again, Do. Not. Feed. The. Troll.
Again, Do. Not. Feed. The. Troll.
M
Is this what the Bible says? I know what your husband is doing is wrong and hurtful, but have you ever hurt him and needed His forgiveness? How about asking him about his behavior and see IF you both can let God repair what has gone wrong in your marriage. It is a given He wants to and will, the only variables are you 2.
1st and foremost you MUST understand that your husbands sinful addiction has NOTHING to do with you. It doesn't matter how attractive or sexy you are, once this monster is unleashed it is almost impossible to get under control permanently WITHOUT the Holy Spirit.
Imagine how you feel when you are really turned on. Now imagine getting that feeling in almost an instant by a tv commercial, a magazine picture, a guy(for you) simply walking by or just THINKING about it,.... this is how many men feel who are trapped in a sex addiction.
This is how it was for me. The addiction only grows and is NEVER satisfied. No matter how much he tries to stop he won't be able to. The ONLY thing that ever worked for me was the realization that every second of every day we must make a choice to either feed our flesh (sinful desires) or feed our Spirit. We can't feed both at the same time. Feeding our Spirit through DAILY prayer, praying together as husband and wife, DAILY Scripture reading, fellowship with other Christians, and helping others in various ways will starve our fleshly desires. It IS NOT a once and done change of life.
I pray in Jesus name that this advice helps and you and your husband find a renewed love for each other.
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Z
Wishful thinking doesn't always work. If he is consistently masturbating and promising to quit, and isn't, he probably isn't going to any time soon. That's just a fact, ask anyone who has dealt with an experience like this. The fact is, if he is willfully depriving his wife of sex for his own pleasure he is breaking his vows to honor, and he is completely going against the biblical behavior for husbands. He should not deprive her of sex, that is never ok unless it is mutual and for a short time.
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Just want to add I detest thread hijackers on a serious thread about personal issues. This is NOT the Bible Discussion Forum! Go there only at your own risk. LOL
As for the OP, you should have no shame. This is a serious addiction. When I was in Seminary, one of the other students confessed to a porno addiction. He had one of the professors as an accountability partner, and was quite open about the shambles it made of his marriage and life. It was totally revealing to me, as I never realized a dedicated Christian could have such a problem. It wasn't even because he didn't love God, it was because he was addicted to it.
I will pray that your husband will find help for this problem. He will not conquer it on his own and making promises to you. You do need to get some counseling, and also make your husband go for Christian counseling.
Even a secular psychiatrist I was once talking to about deviations, mentioned how debilitating this addiction is for men. He said it was hard for him to work with people like this, because they had no motivation to change, because of the way the world views pornography. He admitted though, that the Christians who had come to him had some success.
I will be praying for you to find the help you need to bring back intimacy into your marriage.
As for the OP, you should have no shame. This is a serious addiction. When I was in Seminary, one of the other students confessed to a porno addiction. He had one of the professors as an accountability partner, and was quite open about the shambles it made of his marriage and life. It was totally revealing to me, as I never realized a dedicated Christian could have such a problem. It wasn't even because he didn't love God, it was because he was addicted to it.
I will pray that your husband will find help for this problem. He will not conquer it on his own and making promises to you. You do need to get some counseling, and also make your husband go for Christian counseling.
Even a secular psychiatrist I was once talking to about deviations, mentioned how debilitating this addiction is for men. He said it was hard for him to work with people like this, because they had no motivation to change, because of the way the world views pornography. He admitted though, that the Christians who had come to him had some success.
I will be praying for you to find the help you need to bring back intimacy into your marriage.
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Getting back on track, First of all I would be inclined to check the restroom for hidden stash of images and even whole magazines. look everywhere, does the bath panel come off? hidden in plastic back in the cisterns?
Pornography destroys peoples perception as to what is normal, this can only really be sorted by councilling.
Pornography destroys peoples perception as to what is normal, this can only really be sorted by councilling.
K
Thank you to everyone who replied seriously to my question. The responses didn't make me feel better as I hoped they would. But I guess I need to be honest with myself and realize that he probably can't change on his own. I was hoping maybe he could, of course he says he can. I'm not real sure what else to say to him at this point. He promises he's not looking at the porn anymore but I know he is still "taking care of himself" often. It's hard because it's something that he can hide from me if he wants to so how will I ever know if he's really telling me the truth? I hate the private browsing on the iPhone! It makes me so sad, this isn't something I ever thought I would have to deal with. I'm so moody with him because the hurt he's caused me is always in the back of my mind and I feel like I'm starting to resent him. I just don't understand why he would rather do that by himself than with me...how could that actually be more pleasurable and fulfilling? And it does make it hard because society makes everyone believe it is totally normal and those of us who feel it is wrong are made out to be controlling, jealous wives. My husband works hard to provide for our family and he's an amazing dad, he's a great person with a very tender and caring heart so I can't figure out why he's fallen into this. I'm pretty sure that he didn't have this addiction before we were married, so why would it start after we were married? I have so many questions and feel so betrayed. He says that he's not addicted and can stop but I really don't know what to believe. Thinking about it makes me feel sick, I wish I knew what was going on in his mind! He's sleeping next to me right now and all I can think about is whether or not he's dreaming about other women, it's something I will never know! But anyways, I'm just rambling now. Thanks again for your replies, it means a lot that complete strangers would take the time tell me about their experiences and give me opinions.
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