On the way to church this a.m. I decided it would be a good idea to talk with our new musical director over coffee....then in the service, I felt like leaving halfway through....not because the message upset me, but because I wanted to digest the info already given and contemplate it and meditate on it....then in my tucked away corner of the lobby while waiting for my kid to come out of her class, I found myself doing my usual custom of praying for some of the passers-by as the Lord led...two women this time...a middle-aged mom whose daughter is a lesbian - - that she would be filled with the joy of the Lord and that she would know that she is not a failure (I have always felt that she blames herself)...and another woman whose husband needs to stop being such a "Martha" and to tell her that she is beautiful and that he loves her...I'm not sure if these are the Lord leading, or my INFP "superpowers" at work - - I have been led to pray for people before based on things that are behind their smiles, or things that have yet to be shared but get revealed later - - I've even prayed for healing of cancer before my friend got diagnosed...then the new musical director came to me and chatted a while...she wants me back serving in the music ministry...I have an ongoing gig on their rehearsal nights and have been doing that since I haven't heard from the church's music dept in about 6 months....I am ambivalent and told her so...I've been overlooked and treated very disrespectfully by some their and I don't like playing politics...service to the Lord was more important though, so I put up with a lot because it is not about me, but things reached a threshold....she wants my perspective on things and suggested we meet for coffee, which, in true "Streams of Consciousness" fashion, brings me back to the beginning of this post...
I am mentally exhausted and will be cleaning my place as I contemplate today's message, my attitude, the conversation....life, the universe, and everything...
I am mentally exhausted and will be cleaning my place as I contemplate today's message, my attitude, the conversation....life, the universe, and everything...