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C
Yeah I don't get why people are like that. It's not necessary to be so vocal about it, or to talk about it really at all in my opinion. I personally keep it to myself, especially when i'm around nonbelievers. Sometimes I lie about it and say i'm not a virgin, because if a nonbeliever i'm with happens to find out i'm a virgin at 22 they make it into this huge deal. "You're still a virgin!!??? What!!??? Are you kidding me!!???"
So yeah from my experience it's better to just keep it to yourself. And it's not that i'm ashamed to be a virgin, but it just attracts some attention that I don't want.
So yeah from my experience it's better to just keep it to yourself. And it's not that i'm ashamed to be a virgin, but it just attracts some attention that I don't want.
Quite true; maybe not proud...but I think they should be joyous about their virginity whether on here or in the world.
People who've admitted they're virgins are not saying anything about others who are "no longer" virgins, but are saying something exclusively about *themselves* and the choice *they've* had the strength to make "so far" in life (because I'm sure we can all agree, it's HARD to resist in today's world). Because the thing is we're ALL virgins at one point in our lives, unlike choosing to be a vegetarian (and I know it was just an analogy, I'm just going with it).
And for those who've recently chosen to resist the temptation (because that's what we're really talking about here; resisting the temptation of the flesh); for those who are feeling the pressures of this world (and their own biology) building to cause them to break their resistance, I think to know there are others who are joyously standing - years deep in *their own* resistance - is encouraging for them. But how could they identify with them unless those people make themselves known?
I mean to be honest, a Christian community is the ONLY place where one SHOULD be able to wear that like a badge of honor...especially when EVERYWHERE ELSE in this world it's badge of shame. In the world, it's seen as if one hasn't yet removed the "training wheels" from their life and began REALLY living until they've had sex (to the point where it almost becomes a "chore" to complete as soon as possible). I mean, I've never seen a movie made to joke about a 40-year old vegetarian (lol), who "wins" when he finally eats meat. And the joke wasn't even that he was a virgin; it was that he's been one for *so long* and had no experience in the carnal things of this world...
Again it has nothing to do with non-virgins...but there's an entire world, an ENTIRE WORLD of non-virgins that suggest such a lifestyle is akin to arrested development; that something must be *wrong* with someone who's "still" a virgin...and is it such a surprise this is true, when other things of this world are called good when they're really evil?
Isaiah 5:20
I think if there IS a feeling being felt it's not caused by professed virgins, but by those who are either non-virgins or haven't themselves admitted their own virginity. I feel these people are actually (wrongly) judging *themselves* as "unworthy", "guilty" or "shamed" when they shouldn't feel that way at all...but then that feeling maybe gets projected onto the professed virgins as if they're purposely making them feel that way.
So maybe non-virgins feel bad because they don't have their own virginity anymore, and non-professed virgins feel bad because they don't have their own joy in their virginity (because it's a burden).
And if so this an indirect form of coveting, and that's nowhere any of us should be because we *ALL* equally have the priceless treasure of Christ...and that's something no one can take away from any of us.
So congratulate those who are still virgins...and applaud those who've renewed their vow to chastity before marriage...but don't compare the two because they're two different camps related to each other, with different struggles.
People who've admitted they're virgins are not saying anything about others who are "no longer" virgins, but are saying something exclusively about *themselves* and the choice *they've* had the strength to make "so far" in life (because I'm sure we can all agree, it's HARD to resist in today's world). Because the thing is we're ALL virgins at one point in our lives, unlike choosing to be a vegetarian (and I know it was just an analogy, I'm just going with it).
And for those who've recently chosen to resist the temptation (because that's what we're really talking about here; resisting the temptation of the flesh); for those who are feeling the pressures of this world (and their own biology) building to cause them to break their resistance, I think to know there are others who are joyously standing - years deep in *their own* resistance - is encouraging for them. But how could they identify with them unless those people make themselves known?
I mean to be honest, a Christian community is the ONLY place where one SHOULD be able to wear that like a badge of honor...especially when EVERYWHERE ELSE in this world it's badge of shame. In the world, it's seen as if one hasn't yet removed the "training wheels" from their life and began REALLY living until they've had sex (to the point where it almost becomes a "chore" to complete as soon as possible). I mean, I've never seen a movie made to joke about a 40-year old vegetarian (lol), who "wins" when he finally eats meat. And the joke wasn't even that he was a virgin; it was that he's been one for *so long* and had no experience in the carnal things of this world...
Again it has nothing to do with non-virgins...but there's an entire world, an ENTIRE WORLD of non-virgins that suggest such a lifestyle is akin to arrested development; that something must be *wrong* with someone who's "still" a virgin...and is it such a surprise this is true, when other things of this world are called good when they're really evil?
Isaiah 5:20
I think if there IS a feeling being felt it's not caused by professed virgins, but by those who are either non-virgins or haven't themselves admitted their own virginity. I feel these people are actually (wrongly) judging *themselves* as "unworthy", "guilty" or "shamed" when they shouldn't feel that way at all...but then that feeling maybe gets projected onto the professed virgins as if they're purposely making them feel that way.
So maybe non-virgins feel bad because they don't have their own virginity anymore, and non-professed virgins feel bad because they don't have their own joy in their virginity (because it's a burden).
And if so this an indirect form of coveting, and that's nowhere any of us should be because we *ALL* equally have the priceless treasure of Christ...and that's something no one can take away from any of us.
So congratulate those who are still virgins...and applaud those who've renewed their vow to chastity before marriage...but don't compare the two because they're two different camps related to each other, with different struggles.
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This is a very interesting thread. The reason most virgins want other virgins is because being a virgin takes away the burden of having a lot of baggage in the relationship. You're not as worried about being compared to the other experiences the person had. At least that's what I think... But like many of you said.. Sin is sin and once its under the blood it is forgiven. To say someone is unfit to be a mate because of losing their virginity I think is wrong. It's like saying someone is unfit to be a parent if they got pregnant before marriage. God can take a repentant person and make beautiful things in their life 
Just my opinion.
Just my opinion.
G
This is a very interesting thread. The reason most virgins want other virgins is because being a virgin takes away the burden of having a lot of baggage in the relationship. You're not as worried about being compared to the other experiences the person had. At least that's what I think... But like many of you said.. Sin is sin and once its under the blood it is forgiven. To say someone is unfit to be a mate because of losing their virginity I think is wrong. It's like saying someone is unfit to be a parent if they got pregnant before marriage. God can take a repentant person and make beautiful things in their life Just my opinion.
Just my opinion.
T
Okay, so what I hear the virgins saying is that because they waited they would prefer someone else who waited as well. Also they think that having another virgin would eliminate the possibility of being compared to a past "lover." And that there is a possibility that non virgins are less trustworthy because they gave up something precious and may not be able to resist sexual temptation as much as non virgins.
What the others are saying is that it shouldn't matter because we have been covered by the Blood and all is forgiven so others shouldn't hold us accountable for that anymore.
I am gonna share something personal just to put things into perspective.
I am not a "technical virgin." I lost my virginity before I was a Christian. When I became a Christian I chose not to have sex anymore. So far so good. I also asked God to remove memories of my past experiences because I didn't need those memories. Guess what! I don't have any of those memories. I remember that I had sex and with who, but I do not remember specific, feelings, details, etc. I know I did it but I don't know what it was like.
I am not concerned that I will compare my future husband to any other man, nor am I worried about him comparing me to other women. I will not be concerned about his trustworthiness if he isn't a "virgin" as I am trustworthy because my God, Creator, Provider, Conqueror, Sanctifier has the ability to cleanse me from the inside out, heal my pain, deliver me from temptation, take back what the enemy stole from me and restore my inheritance as His child.
What the others are saying is that it shouldn't matter because we have been covered by the Blood and all is forgiven so others shouldn't hold us accountable for that anymore.
I am gonna share something personal just to put things into perspective.
I am not a "technical virgin." I lost my virginity before I was a Christian. When I became a Christian I chose not to have sex anymore. So far so good. I also asked God to remove memories of my past experiences because I didn't need those memories. Guess what! I don't have any of those memories. I remember that I had sex and with who, but I do not remember specific, feelings, details, etc. I know I did it but I don't know what it was like.
I am not concerned that I will compare my future husband to any other man, nor am I worried about him comparing me to other women. I will not be concerned about his trustworthiness if he isn't a "virgin" as I am trustworthy because my God, Creator, Provider, Conqueror, Sanctifier has the ability to cleanse me from the inside out, heal my pain, deliver me from temptation, take back what the enemy stole from me and restore my inheritance as His child.
T
I forgot something...
I guess what I am trying to say is, do not put a limit on God's ability to change someones life. His fullness certainly is incomprehensible. We always remember that His Blood washes sin, but we forget we are made whole by His Blood as well.
1 John 1:7 - But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.
Revelation 1:5 - And from Jesus Christ, [who is] the faithful witness, [and] the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth. Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood,
Hebrews 13: 20 Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant,
21 Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is wellpleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
I guess what I am trying to say is, do not put a limit on God's ability to change someones life. His fullness certainly is incomprehensible. We always remember that His Blood washes sin, but we forget we are made whole by His Blood as well.
1 John 1:7 - But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.
Revelation 1:5 - And from Jesus Christ, [who is] the faithful witness, [and] the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth. Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood,
Hebrews 13: 20 Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant,
21 Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is wellpleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
C
I'm not trying to be negative, but it's hard for many people not to compare past lovers to their current one... For example: A common insecurity for some men is their size, and I know it seems ridiculous but there are marriages who have trouble intimately because their current lover doesn't 'measure up' to a previous one. Women always say size doesn't matter but from what i've been told that just stops the guy's feelings from being hurt. If a woman only has been with one man then there's nothing to compare.
But hey, the post above me talks about how God made them forget their prior experiences, and that's great. But I don't think that happens for everyone...
I hope I don't get a lot of hate, but that's a big part of how I feel about it. That's not the main reason why i'd prefer to marry a virgin, but it's just one reason. Another part is the spiritual aspect I mentioned on the first page.
Also, I am most definitely not saying that virgins are better than nonvirgins either. It's just not true. Nobody is better than anybody else.
Lastly, i'm not saying that I have a 'right' to a virgin either. If God wants me to marry a nonvirgin girl then I most definitely will, and I will love her to pieces. Just saying...
But hey, the post above me talks about how God made them forget their prior experiences, and that's great. But I don't think that happens for everyone...
I hope I don't get a lot of hate, but that's a big part of how I feel about it. That's not the main reason why i'd prefer to marry a virgin, but it's just one reason. Another part is the spiritual aspect I mentioned on the first page.
Also, I am most definitely not saying that virgins are better than nonvirgins either. It's just not true. Nobody is better than anybody else.
Lastly, i'm not saying that I have a 'right' to a virgin either. If God wants me to marry a nonvirgin girl then I most definitely will, and I will love her to pieces. Just saying...
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In my experience, the comparisons only rear their ugly heads when there is another problem in the relationship. When a married couple is in love and working well, sex is a passionate and fun way of expressing that love. Physical traits and exact techniques don't really matter because they are filtering that information through the proverbial rose-colored lenses. Even if one or both have had prior sexual encounters, that should have no bearing on a healthy relationship.
It's also like comparing apples, oranges, and pomegranates. Each couple kinda finds its own way of expressing themselves physically. What someone enjoyed in a previous relationship may not be the same in their marriage. It will vary based on the way the couple physically, emotionally, and spiritually fit together. And that will also evolve through the different stages of their relationship and their individual lives. Respect, selflessness, and communication are important to it all working well.
It's also like comparing apples, oranges, and pomegranates. Each couple kinda finds its own way of expressing themselves physically. What someone enjoyed in a previous relationship may not be the same in their marriage. It will vary based on the way the couple physically, emotionally, and spiritually fit together. And that will also evolve through the different stages of their relationship and their individual lives. Respect, selflessness, and communication are important to it all working well.
This is a difficult question, i once dated a "christian-catholic girl" untill I found out that she "rented herself out" to men.
She said there was nothing wrong in it because she knew the "virgin mary" would forgive her.
neverless I told her she had problems, that I would pray for her, and that she was on a highway to hell, if she didn't switch lanes as quickly as possible.
i have'nt heard of her since, except that she posted nude picd of herself on facebook, after which I proceeded to delete her from my facebook. :b
I would much rather merry a girl that has had a relationship before,
but then came to know the lord and has experience'd forgiveness, because if she experiences the lords forgiveness she will be able to forgive you for the fights you ALWAYS WILL HAVE DOWN THE ROAD..
as sometimes the christian raised virgins that according to themselves "never did anything wrong" ,so how how are they supposed to have experienced the lords forgiveness,when according to them "i've never really done anything wrong"
She said there was nothing wrong in it because she knew the "virgin mary" would forgive her.
neverless I told her she had problems, that I would pray for her, and that she was on a highway to hell, if she didn't switch lanes as quickly as possible.
i have'nt heard of her since, except that she posted nude picd of herself on facebook, after which I proceeded to delete her from my facebook. :b
I would much rather merry a girl that has had a relationship before,
but then came to know the lord and has experience'd forgiveness, because if she experiences the lords forgiveness she will be able to forgive you for the fights you ALWAYS WILL HAVE DOWN THE ROAD.
. as sometimes the christian raised virgins that according to themselves "never did anything wrong" ,so how how are they supposed to have experienced the lords forgiveness,when according to them "i've never really done anything wrong"
But then again i'd rather have a virgin that knows the lord and has experience'd forgiveness then the non-virgen that came to the lord, since i'm one myself it would probably make it more fun and unconditional if its "first times for both of us.
It just depends on the person you meet, you can kind of tell whether god approves of a relationship after the first few dates.
It just depends on the person you meet, you can kind of tell whether god approves of a relationship after the first few dates.
A
Been single, I have thought about this. You might notice that when marriage is mentioned in the Bible, that it mentions that the two became one. Some have mentioned the physical aspect of this, but it is more than that. There is a spiritual aspect.
There have been stories, where a man, while at war, has had sex with a local lady. He comes home from war and has sex with his wife. She ends up suffering from physical illness etc that doctors can't explain. She then goes to a church ministry and through prayer and discernment, it is found that there is a spirit of Buddhism, which had come through the relationship with her husband. This is something that through God, can be healed.
I know, I probably sound strange.
There have been stories, where a man, while at war, has had sex with a local lady. He comes home from war and has sex with his wife. She ends up suffering from physical illness etc that doctors can't explain. She then goes to a church ministry and through prayer and discernment, it is found that there is a spirit of Buddhism, which had come through the relationship with her husband. This is something that through God, can be healed.
I know, I probably sound strange.
Much has been made of balance and for good reason.
The first (craving virginity) is a form of idolatry and a sort of mysticism.
The second (not caring) can be accepted to the extent that we loose all standards. That holiness is regarded as unimportant.
Thankfully, holiness and purity are different from virginity and can be taken on regardless of age and life experience.
The first (craving virginity) is a form of idolatry and a sort of mysticism.
The second (not caring) can be accepted to the extent that we loose all standards. That holiness is regarded as unimportant.
Thankfully, holiness and purity are different from virginity and can be taken on regardless of age and life experience.
