I'm a virgin with a non-virgin girlfriend, should I stay with her or go?

[XD005]

Hello everyone,
I'm new here and am currently facing a tough time in my life right now
and I thought it'd be best to ask other Christians for advice as I'm sure they would understand
where I'm coming from. Anyway, I am a 20 year old virgin. I believe that sex is something that should be reserved for marriage or at the very least for someone you've been in a long term relationship with that your absolutely sure you could marry. And so I've been saving myself for the right girl. And so I met this girl who I liked a lot but now I've come to question my feelings for her. I asked her up front if she was a virgin and she told me no and although it bothered me, it kinda moved to the back of my head and I had forgotten about it. Eventually, we'd start to get closer and she would either directly mention her past sometimes or say things that reminded me about it, I had told her that I don't like for her to talk about it, she stopped mentioning it as frequently.

One day, it became an issue again we talked about it and she chewed me out about it
and told me that its unrealistic for me to want a virgin and that I'm not going to find one at my age.
Obviously I was offended but I thought that perhaps she was just upset and thats how she took it out.
But some times after, she still showed some anger or annoyance in it being a problem for me.
Although the very first time she said that she had wished she had known it was going to be an issue for me
and she would have waited had she known she was gonna meet me.

A couple months afterwards she came out and said that she was just like me at one point
and was first waiting till marriage, then it became the right guy, and somehow she convinced herself that she
was never gonna meet the right guy and just gave it away to this one dude she liked her treated her badly.
It makes me somewhat sad because this all happened just a couple months before I met her, I feel had I met her a bit earlier, it would/could have been avoided but I guess it wasn't in God's plan.

So now I'm just not sure what to do. I want a woman who can give herself to me 100% (like I would be doing), that I can grow with, share experiences with (including our virginity), etc, etc, and I just feel like it really is unlikely to happen in this day and age. And while I do like this girl, I wonder if it even is worth breaking up with her for. At the very least, if I was meant to be with this girl, I'd wonder what its like to be a girl's first but at the same time, I'm not the type of guy who would talk to a girl solely because of that. And while I don't like to question god, I also wonder why he has allowed it to happen this way, knowing how badly I would have liked someone more equally yoked. But I dunno what I guess I'm trying to ask is what should I do? I feel as if god meant for me to be with this girl, it would feel natural and not cause any stress or emotional trauma right? As the bible says when you find a wife, you find a good thing.

 

[maxwel]

I don't think it's a matter of what's in a girl's past...

I think it's a matter of how recent her "past" was.

This girl was having a sexual relationship with some jerky guy just a couple months before she hooked up with you?
Sounds to me like she isn't ready to have a serious, committed relationship yet if that's how she's been behaving so recently.

 

[Mammachickadee]

Hello everyone,
I'm new here and am currently facing a tough time in my life right now
and I thought it'd be best to ask other Christians for advice as I'm sure they would understand
where I'm coming from. Anyway, I am a 20 year old virgin. I believe that sex is something that should be reserved for marriage or at the very least for someone you've been in a long term relationship with that your absolutely sure you could marry. And so I've been saving myself for the right girl. And so I met this girl who I liked a lot but now I've come to question my feelings for her. I asked her up front if she was a virgin and she told me no and although it bothered me, it kinda moved to the back of my head and I had forgotten about it. Eventually, we'd start to get closer and she would either directly mention her past sometimes or say things that reminded me about it, I had told her that I don't like for her to talk about it, she stopped mentioning it as frequently.

One day, it became an issue again we talked about it and she chewed me out about it
and told me that its unrealistic for me to want a virgin and that I'm not going to find one at my age.
Obviously I was offended but I thought that perhaps she was just upset and thats how she took it out.
But some times after, she still showed some anger or annoyance in it being a problem for me.
Although the very first time she said that she had wished she had known it was going to be an issue for me
and she would have waited had she known she was gonna meet me.

A couple months afterwards she came out and said that she was just like me at one point
and was first waiting till marriage, then it became the right guy, and somehow she convinced herself that she
was never gonna meet the right guy and just gave it away to this one dude she liked her treated her badly.
It makes me somewhat sad because this all happened just a couple months before I met her, I feel had I met her a bit earlier, it would/could have been avoided but I guess it wasn't in God's plan.

So now I'm just not sure what to do. I want a woman who can give herself to me 100% (like I would be doing), that I can grow with, share experiences with (including our virginity), etc, etc, and I just feel like it really is unlikely to happen in this day and age. And while I do like this girl, I wonder if it even is worth breaking up with her for. At the very least, if I was meant to be with this girl, I'd wonder what its like to be a girl's first but at the same time, I'm not the type of guy who would talk to a girl solely because of that. And while I don't like to question god, I also wonder why he has allowed it to happen this way, knowing how badly I would have liked someone more equally yoked. But I dunno what I guess I'm trying to ask is what should I do? I feel as if god meant for me to be with this girl, it would feel natural and not cause any stress or emotional trauma right? As the bible says when you find a wife, you find a good thing.

XD... just a couple of things
1. No matter what a believer does wrong on this earth God takes it and casts it to the farthest ends of the earth... out of sight and out of mind
2. You sound as though you are struggling to forgive her for something that is none of your business to forgive. God brought her into your life AS SHE IS, and if He did so with the intention of leading your paths into marriage He would not do so if she were not an adequate wife for you.
3. Why can't she give you 100%? It takes love, purity, selflessness, and wisdom before God to make a marriage, and even someone who has been with a man can give you that better than countless virgins I have known who were selfish, vain, and all about pride.
4. Finding the right one isn't all about perfect peace coming down in a ray of light from heaven... especially not when it comes to finding a mate. Sure, it would be nice if your parents both agreed she might be the right one... but that doesn't always happen. If she lives for the Lord; is ready to enter into marriage; is able to withstand the temptations of sexual sins; and has an understanding that God is the leader of your relationship and not you... why wouldn't you marry her? She stands heads and shoulders above a majority of modern Christians.
God brought her into your life in His perfect timing... for whatever purpose. If he has seen fit to forgive her, why can't you? And when it comes to saying "yes I care about you and want to get to know you on a deeper level" but you aren't willing to hear her out because it makes you feel uncomfortable, THAT is your pride. It's one thing if her revelations of her past are her ways of glorying in her lack of purity... but if they are on her mind and she simply speaks to you about them so you can understand her, try to set aside your embarrassment, listen, and THEN remind her that her past is to be buried with Christ and washed away in the love of the Savior.
God can give what is called a second virginity... a purified mind and heart before Him. Help her by doing your part and being strong. Keep pointing up at God instead of between the two of your.

 

[4j]

WELL YOUNG MAN MARRIAGE IS NOT ABOUT VIRGINITY ITS ALL ABOUT FINDING UR OWN WIFE WHAT MAKES AGOOD MARRIAGE TOTAL SUbMMITION TO GOD

 

[djness]

One day, it became an issue again we talked about it and she chewed me out about it
and told me that its unrealistic for me to want a virgin and that I'm not going to find one at my age.

Just a quick guess but it seems to me the ground is uneven in her opinion. It almost seems like she feels a little like she is lesser then you cause you have managed to stay a virgin and she did not. People do not like those who maintain higher standards, heck I see it even more so within christians then out. I wouldn't be surprised, if you ended up having sex before marriage, if she wouldn't say, "see! now you are like me! Not so high and mighty now are you?"

And maybe you aren't lording it over her that you are a virgin...but from her responses it seems to bother her that the playing field isn't even in this regard.

The human rational works in all sorts of odd ways.

If you and she cannot come to terms with this, with you maintaining virginity, then you will need to move on to someone who can.

 

[eddie1801]

Hello:

This is a good issue to share with other Christians. Well, first off, everybody can fall at some point in their life. If she has all the qualities that you want in a wife, except the fact that she lost her virginity, I think this is not someone you should throw away. I am a married man , and my wife was a virgin and wanted to wait. As long as both of you are on one accord, on waiting till you are married to have sex, then I think that you two are made for each other.

However, you do want to hear God's voice on this matter. Therefore, you should pray and fast concerning this. He will answer your questions..he will show you signs to either confirm that you should marry her, or not confirm the relationship. The main point is not the virginity issue, the main point is will you guys have the strength to wait till you are married for sex.

 

[DuchessAimee]

Hello everyone,
I'm new here and am currently facing a tough time in my life right now
and I thought it'd be best to ask other Christians for advice as I'm sure they would understand
where I'm coming from. Anyway, I am a 20 year old virgin. I believe that sex is something that should be reserved for marriage or at the very least for someone you've been in a long term relationship with that your absolutely sure you could marry. And so I've been saving myself for the right girl. And so I met this girl who I liked a lot but now I've come to question my feelings for her. I asked her up front if she was a virgin and she told me no and although it bothered me, it kinda moved to the back of my head and I had forgotten about it. Eventually, we'd start to get closer and she would either directly mention her past sometimes or say things that reminded me about it, I had told her that I don't like for her to talk about it, she stopped mentioning it as frequently.

One day, it became an issue again we talked about it and she chewed me out about it
and told me that its unrealistic for me to want a virgin and that I'm not going to find one at my age.
Obviously I was offended but I thought that perhaps she was just upset and thats how she took it out.
But some times after, she still showed some anger or annoyance in it being a problem for me.
Although the very first time she said that she had wished she had known it was going to be an issue for me
and she would have waited had she known she was gonna meet me.

A couple months afterwards she came out and said that she was just like me at one point
and was first waiting till marriage, then it became the right guy, and somehow she convinced herself that she
was never gonna meet the right guy and just gave it away to this one dude she liked her treated her badly.
It makes me somewhat sad because this all happened just a couple months before I met her, I feel had I met her a bit earlier, it would/could have been avoided but I guess it wasn't in God's plan.

So now I'm just not sure what to do. I want a woman who can give herself to me 100% (like I would be doing), that I can grow with, share experiences with (including our virginity), etc, etc, and I just feel like it really is unlikely to happen in this day and age. And while I do like this girl, I wonder if it even is worth breaking up with her for. At the very least, if I was meant to be with this girl, I'd wonder what its like to be a girl's first but at the same time, I'm not the type of guy who would talk to a girl solely because of that. And while I don't like to question god, I also wonder why he has allowed it to happen this way, knowing how badly I would have liked someone more equally yoked. But I dunno what I guess I'm trying to ask is what should I do? I feel as if god meant for me to be with this girl, it would feel natural and not cause any stress or emotional trauma right? As the bible says when you find a wife, you find a good thing.

You aren't going to like what I have to say. You will probably think me judgemental and maybe even mean, but that makes little difference. The bolded parts are the important things you've said and are my evidence for what I'm about to say.


You're a virgin, she's not. You're 20 and I'm thinking she's somewhere around the same age. If it's so important for her to be a virgin, you need to break up with her. Flat out. By dating her despite the fact you have such a large issue with her choices, you're leading her on. That's one of the reasons she's so angry at you. You've lead her on. Yes, you have. By being with someone you are saying that their past doesn't have a hold on you. You're telling them that you've found worth and merit in them despite mistakes and human nature. Also, you've got to stop punishing her for your prejudice. She didn't sin against you. She sinned against herself and God. You have NOTHING to do with her choices in the past. And honestly, to think the situation could or would have been avoided if you had met earlier is nonsense. Unless you're God, you don't actually know that.


Again, you want a virgin, break up with her. I will repeat myself for a third time, if you want a virgin, break up with her. The sooner the better, actually. If you want to share your first time with someone who can do the same with you, then you'll have to find a new girl. And yes, you are the type of guy who will only accept a virgin for yourself because you're on this forum asking questions. If it didn't bother you, really and truly, you wouldn't be here. Finally, being equally yoked means more than whether or not you and some girl have the same number of notches on your bedpost. You are very much missing the point of the scriptures talking about finding a good spouse. It is my recommendation you break up with the girl and seek out an older man who can mentor you. Stay away from a relationship until you're much more mature.

 

[richie_2uk]

So XD005? What you think of your responses so far? Any help to you? For once, I seen great responses and great comments in return, considering how many people on CC who like to derail or defuse the OP. this is the best one I seen that people answered and gave great feedback without being to judgemental, or derailment, or defusing the subject. You had direct comments back. I think all the advise you had in return, are of great value. Would be nice to see your response back in return of what you think about the answers given.

 

[santuzza]

You never mention whether this girl is a Christian. If you're a Christian, you should not be dating a non-Christian in the first place.

I think you should break up with her. You mentioned that you're not equally yoked. That in and of itself is reason to break it off.

I'm 51 years old, so I don't know how hard it is to find a virgin at your age. But being a virgin isn't really the entire issue, is it? You seem to have different ideas about sex, so, again, that in and of itself is a reason to break it off.

 

[santuzza]

Oh, let me also commend you for your choice to stay chaste. I did that, and even in my generation it was a tough thing with tons of peer pressure. So, while this relationship may be a bit of a disaster, I do admire you for standing behind your convictions and standing with God and His teachings.

 

[Mammachickadee]

Just a quick guess but it seems to me the ground is uneven in her opinion. It almost seems like she feels a little like she is lesser then you cause you have managed to stay a virgin and she did not. People do not like those who maintain higher standards, heck I see it even more so within christians then out. I wouldn't be surprised, if you ended up having sex before marriage, if she wouldn't say, "see! now you are like me! Not so high and mighty now are you?"

And maybe you aren't lording it over her that you are a virgin...but from her responses it seems to bother her that the playing field isn't even in this regard.

The human rational works in all sorts of odd ways.

If you and she cannot come to terms with this, with you maintaining virginity, then you will need to move on to someone who can.

Agreed. To be honest getting over the novelty of sex can be useful. She will be less likely to make the mistake of so many by marrying just to have sex ASAP as an honest woman.

 

[PennEd]

Hello everyone,
I'm new here and am currently facing a tough time in my life right now
and I thought it'd be best to ask other Christians for advice as I'm sure they would understand
where I'm coming from. Anyway, I am a 20 year old virgin. I believe that sex is something that should be reserved for marriage or at the very least for someone you've been in a long term relationship with that your absolutely sure you could marry. And so I've been saving myself for the right girl. And so I met this girl who I liked a lot but now I've come to question my feelings for her. I asked her up front if she was a virgin and she told me no and although it bothered me, it kinda moved to the back of my head and I had forgotten about it. Eventually, we'd start to get closer and she would either directly mention her past sometimes or say things that reminded me about it, I had told her that I don't like for her to talk about it, she stopped mentioning it as frequently.

One day, it became an issue again we talked about it and she chewed me out about it
and told me that its unrealistic for me to want a virgin and that I'm not going to find one at my age.
Obviously I was offended but I thought that perhaps she was just upset and thats how she took it out.
But some times after, she still showed some anger or annoyance in it being a problem for me.
Although the very first time she said that she had wished she had known it was going to be an issue for me
and she would have waited had she known she was gonna meet me.

A couple months afterwards she came out and said that she was just like me at one point
and was first waiting till marriage, then it became the right guy, and somehow she convinced herself that she
was never gonna meet the right guy and just gave it away to this one dude she liked her treated her badly.
It makes me somewhat sad because this all happened just a couple months before I met her, I feel had I met her a bit earlier, it would/could have been avoided but I guess it wasn't in God's plan.

So now I'm just not sure what to do. I want a woman who can give herself to me 100% (like I would be doing), that I can grow with, share experiences with (including our virginity), etc, etc, and I just feel like it really is unlikely to happen in this day and age. And while I do like this girl, I wonder if it even is worth breaking up with her for. At the very least, if I was meant to be with this girl, I'd wonder what its like to be a girl's first but at the same time, I'm not the type of guy who would talk to a girl solely because of that. And while I don't like to question god, I also wonder why he has allowed it to happen this way, knowing how badly I would have liked someone more equally yoked. But I dunno what I guess I'm trying to ask is what should I do? I feel as if god meant for me to be with this girl, it would feel natural and not cause any stress or emotional trauma right? As the bible says when you find a wife, you find a good thing.

I wanted a wife who had never drank, who never got angry, who always held her tongue when other women gossiped, who never..... who always.... Instead God knew EXACTLY the woman who was right for me!! A woman with a beautiful heart, and face, and smile, with incredible capacity to forgive MY misdeeds and issues. but one who was also a human being, with faults, and the need for a Savior just like me. Thank you God for giving me the RIGHT woman instead of a PERFECT woman!!

If this girl of yours is a Christian, and you love, or think you may be heading toward love, and she regrets her decision, you'd be a fool to lose her! Have you ever committed some sin that would be a deal-breaker for her? Or have you lived a flawless life?

 

[xXErraticEmilyXx]

It shouldn't really matter as long as she's not still sleeping with people or has sex carelessly. Love and forgiveness go hand in hand.

 

[sandtigeress]

To me it seems like you do not love her, you love the idea of having a "pure, perfekt" woman.

If you marry someone, you have to accept your partner, the way she/he is.
If you think your partner is flawed,
and is less than you, then you are not mature enough to marry anyone.
Marriage means commitment, your commitment, to help and cherish your partner. Your commitment
to honor your partner. Your commitment to acept you partner, to forgive and to build a new life, a
closeness, a oneness with your partner.
A marriage between two people, where one partner thinks he is supirior to
the other, will not work.

Marriage is not about sex. marriage is about building a life together, marriage is about sharing the good and the
bad times. Marriage is not about selfishness. Mariage is not about "i wanted it differently", mariage is about
strengening one another, is about the future not the past.

 

[presidente]

I'll respond in a way some people may find controversial.

If you don't want to marry a woman who is not a virgin, that is perfectly reasonable. The problem is, society is so messed up because of the prevalence of the sin of fornication that it can be hard to find a virgin who you happen to be attracted to who likes you back who also really loves God and has godly character. Fornication is so common, people, even Christians, will think you strange, even snobby or self-righteous, for only wanting to marry a virgin.

Some of the Old Testament law, given by God to Moses, indicates that virginity is desirable and can be a criteria for deciding whether to marry a woman. If a woman were married to a man under the pretense of being a virgin, and it turned out to be a lie, she could be stoned to death. That was a case of fornication combined with fraud, I suppose. Also, in the Old Testament it says that priests were to marry either Israelite virgins or widows of priests. No defiled women were allowed to marry priests.

If you don't want to marry a woman who is not a virgin that's fine. I didn't either. I might have made an exception for a faithful widow who was a virgin before marriage. If the Lord spoke to me otherwise, like He did to Hosea, I would have been open to that. But He may also have put the desire to marry a virgin in my heart when I read the Old Testament.

I had other concerns besides just wanting a virgin. The Bible says two shall be one flesh. If a man took an unbetrothed free woman's virginity in the Old Testament, he had to marry her, or if her father refused, he had to pay the brideprice but could not marry her. I'd thought about this. What if I fell into sin and slept with a woman, and in order to do what was right, would later feel compelled to marry her. That was extra motivation not to do something like that because I was particular about what kind of woman I wanted to marry. I thought what if I married a woman who was not a virgin, but it would have been best if she'd married the man who took her virginity. I didn't want an ethically messy wedding. I wanted to find a God-fearing virgin woman, ask her to marry me, get her father's permission, and get married. I wanted all those ethical areas that I could see in scripture to be clean.

My guess is someone who didn't wait isn't going to like what I've posted so far.

Another reason to consider is if her being a nonvirgin at marriage is going to bother you, you might consider whether you want to marry her or not. If you are always going to see her as dirty or if it will always hurt you and bother you that she did not wait, then neither of you need that. And 20 is still a reasonable age to find a virgin. The older it gets after that in the US, the lower the chances are. But you aren't marrying chances. You need one godly woman. I met my wife in Asia in a country where maybe most women (and men) who don't marry are virgins even if they marry late. If you can't find a virgin here, you could always head overseas.

Statistically, women who are virgins have a lower chance of divorce. (or women who were either virgins at marriage or who had only slept with the man they married had a statistically significant lower chance of marital disruption than those who had multiple sex partners.) If a woman has repented and been cleansed by the blood of Christ, she isn't doomed to divorce. A higher rate doesn't mean the woman you choose would divorce.

Something else to keep in mind, though, is that a woman who has repented over her past sexual sins could be a good wife. I Corinthians 6 says of fornicators and other sinners, "and such were some of you, but now ye are washed; now ye are sanctified; now they are justified, in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God."

One of my concerns reading this is whether or not she truly felt sorrow or shame for her past sin, or if she thinks it is just a case where you have a problem for wanting a virgin. Romans 6 asks, what fruit have we then in those things, whereof we are now ashamed"? We should be ashamed of our past sins. She should be ashamed of losing her virginity. If she considers it to be no big deal, how would she consider adultery after she is married.

I talk about choosing someone to marry because that is the issue, not having a girlfriend. It's an ethical issue
to have a girlfriend in a romantic relationship that you know you are never going to marry and keep the relationship going. It gives her false hope, wastes both of your valuable time, and makes you both more heartbroken. If you aren't reasonably close to an age where you could marry, what is the point of having a girlfriend? It opens up the door for temptation.

It can be helpful to sit down and read the marriage scriptures and write down the duties of a husband and a wife. Study what you will need to do as a husband, love your wife as Christ love the church and gave Himself for her, treat her as the weaker vessel that your prayers be not hindered, and not embitter her. What are your future wife's responsibilities? Submit to you in all things and reverence/respect you. She should be modest and have the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit. Proverbs 31 presents the virtues of a woman who fears the Lord, how she works hard, and her husband's heart safely trusts in her. Proverbs also warns about the quarrelsome woman and the adulteress. You need to look for a good wife and mother. These scriptures give a lot of guidance in what characteristics to look for in a wife. You also want someone who matches well with your personality who you are attracted to.

There is also the issue of prayer and getting personal direction from God. God can speak about a particular choice for a spouse, too.

 

[Agricola]

I would be more concerned about her relationship with God. I couldn't care less if she has slept with 100 men prior to myself, as long as she is now devoted and obedient to God.

Either end your relationship and find this mythical Christian virgin, or humbly apologise to your young lady and never mention it again.

 

[presidente]

Either end your relationship and find this mythical Christian virgin, or humbly apologise to your young lady and never mention it again.

Christian virgins aren't myths. There are some on this forum. I was one.

But I agree if he has his heart set on marrying a virgin, he shouldn't date her or lead her on.

Some people think it is self-righteous to want to marry a virgin. But they don't care if you say you only want to marry someone with red hair. The one criteria has a Biblical basis for why you would desire that and the other does not.

 

[Mammachickadee]

Christian virgins aren't myths. There are some on this forum. I was one.

But I agree if he has his heart set on marrying a virgin, he shouldn't date her or lead her on.

Some people think it is self-righteous to want to marry a virgin. But they don't care if you say you only want to marry someone with red hair. The one criteria has a Biblical basis for why you would desire that and the other does not.

I think he was referring to the fact that even the sinful lustful thoughts is a committed act in God's eye... and even the most holy of good Christian girls has a thought or two in her lifetime.

 

[XD005]

I'll respond in a way some people may find controversial.

If you don't want to marry a woman who is not a virgin, that is perfectly reasonable. The problem is, society is so messed up because of the prevalence of the sin of fornication that it can be hard to find a virgin who you happen to be attracted to who likes you back who also really loves God and has godly character. Fornication is so common, people, even Christians, will think you strange, even snobby or self-righteous, for only wanting to marry a virgin...
<SNIP>

Thank you for not shooting down or insulting my feelings.
You've given me a lot to think about and I did feel a powerful connection to her
when I first started talking to her. You could even so we got close rather quickly and broke the touch barrier
within the first day of meeting each other, I dunno everything just felt so natural with her. And I've really thought about it and she does not appear to consider what she did as wrong which disturbs me slightly and she comes from a christian family and we both indeed do believe in Jesus and have accepted him as our savior. But she has continually told me that she doesn't regret what she did. Additionally, I did feel somewhat pressured in regards to sex when I first started talking to her and in fact, she was upset that I wanted to wait to get intimate with her. And so I explained to her exactly how I feel about sex, I'm not sure if it actually went through to her but she often speaks about us getting intimate and stuff.
I feel if sex wasn't a factor, I could marry this girl but I feel intimidated by her past, even a bit jealous and sad that we couldn't learn together, etc, and as odd as this sounds, there is some satisfaction in knowing that your a girl's first, best, one, and only. By waiting until marriage, you know all of these things for sure. But no sense in worrying about that as its already done. I feel like although the road right now is hard, I shouldn't give up on her.

 

[GraceReborn]

This..

You aren't going to like what I have to say. You will probably think me judgemental and maybe even mean, but that makes little difference. The bolded parts are the important things you've said and are my evidence for what I'm about to say.


You're a virgin, she's not. You're 20 and I'm thinking she's somewhere around the same age. If it's so important for her to be a virgin, you need to break up with her. Flat out. By dating her despite the fact you have such a large issue with her choices, you're leading her on. That's one of the reasons she's so angry at you. You've lead her on. Yes, you have. By being with someone you are saying that their past doesn't have a hold on you. You're telling them that you've found worth and merit in them despite mistakes and human nature. Also, you've got to stop punishing her for your prejudice. She didn't sin against you. She sinned against herself and God. You have NOTHING to do with her choices in the past. And honestly, to think the situation could or would have been avoided if you had met earlier is nonsense. Unless you're God, you don't actually know that.


Again, you want a virgin, break up with her. I will repeat myself for a third time, if you want a virgin, break up with her. The sooner the better, actually. If you want to share your first time with someone who can do the same with you, then you'll have to find a new girl. And yes, you are the type of guy who will only accept a virgin for yourself because you're on this forum asking questions. If it didn't bother you, really and truly, you wouldn't be here. Finally, being equally yoked means more than whether or not you and some girl have the same number of notches on your bedpost. You are very much missing the point of the scriptures talking about finding a good spouse. It is my recommendation you break up with the girl and seek out an older man who can mentor you. Stay away from a relationship until you're much more mature.

Awesome words sister

God bless you XD005!