I'm a virgin with a non-virgin girlfriend, should I stay with her or go?

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#101
#101
ChandlerFan said:
I know I'm just another person on the internet, but here's the way I see it:

The biggest factor here in whether or not you should stay with her is what her view of sex is now. Whether or not she's a virgin shouldn't matter. If she views sex as something that God intended for a husband and wife alone to share within a marriage, then that's great. If she views sex as something she would do again, regardless of whether or not she's married, that's bad news.

And I should say too that anyone who says that they would not marry a non-virgin who is repentant of their past sexual sin and desires to wait until marriage to have sex again simply does not understand grace and does not have a very good grasp of the gospel. There seem to be a lot of people out there who believe that they somehow get extra points with God for being a virgin, and that simply isn't the case. Now, they are definitely saving themselves some relational, marital, emotional, and spiritual heartache by saving themselves for marriage, so I am not in any way saying that it is unimportant to wait for marriage to have sex. What I am saying, however, is that God loves virgins and non-virgins the same, and both repentant virgins and repentant non-virgins alike are children of God.
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Of course but it does hurt knowing that another man has been there before you.
I think thats part of the reason why God tells us to wait. I can't remember if I said this but sex before marriage causes problems, I can tell you that first-hand. If you marry the person you KNOW they will be with you tomorrow, the week after, months, or years after the ordeal. You don't have feelings of regret, not being adequate, your partner feels no jealousy, sadness, etc, etc its just better that way. And I see that, I was once one of those people who thought that its okay to have sex if your in love, etc, etc, but perhaps god has put me through this ordeal to teach me why it is so important to wait.

But anyway things went south and we broke up, it was a mutual thing, sorta. She wanted to feel secure, while I told her I wouldn't just leave her for a virgin, she essentially told me she wanted my feelings to go away. I was honest and told her that I couldn't promise her they would change. Honesty always screws you over... But, I was so sure that this woman was the one for me in my heart but oh well. But I guess not and it hurts more than I could ever imagine not to have her in my life, worse than it did with just the virginity thing. But I'm hopping that somewhere out there, there is a girl that's an even better fit for me and I hope that she has it in her heart to wait for me like I will for her.
 
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