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I'm reading all of these posts and some are deep. Mine are never deep. I hope that doesn't make me shallow. I'm not a super talker I'd rather listen although sometimes that can be exhausting. My Niece is due to have a baby this week. I worry about her. She's under so much stress. She has a nice husband but he works a lot. She has a 5 year old daughter and a bunch of animals she takes care of. I'm in Pennsylvania and she's in Montana. If we lived closer I'd help her. I wish I could, I've sent her baby stuff and money but she needs help, help. Sigh.
K
I am a little worried about my grandpa, lately he looks kinda depressed and he's rather quiet also. I often wonder how he feels by being in bed all day... it must be hard. He is not perfect, and he had many flaws when he was younger, but he was a great grandpa to me when I was little. It's hard to think of him right now as the same man he was not too long ago, energetic and friendly, and also a little grumpy.And now.... I feel as if I was losing a little more of him everyday, everytime I get a smile from him it's like getting a piece of who he used to be. His smiles are so precious, and every word that he says I now consider a gift.
Time goes by so fast....sometimes memories are all we have to keep past blessings alive.
Time goes by so fast....sometimes memories are all we have to keep past blessings alive.
I'd found out not too long after I turned in my resume, they brought someone in Friday to try at the place...sooo I might not have a job there. =\
But there is a music store that I've gone to for all my music needs. I might see if they're hiring at any time. I'm well liked there, everyone knows me real well.
This....is frustrating.
But there is a music store that I've gone to for all my music needs. I might see if they're hiring at any time. I'm well liked there, everyone knows me real well.
This....is frustrating.
A
Trying to get a grasp on my identity. It sways so much. Am I this? Am I that? I feel as if I have been many different people in my life. Took on different roles and identities because I wasn't sure which one is truly me. I find that as soon as I believe I found it, I run after it and embrace the thing that I feel is me. But still something stirs in me that questions, is this really me?
I am currently Arwen the reader and writer. But is that who I am? A part of me thinks that I am kidding myself, and this compulsion I have to be authentic and true to myself makes it all the more complicated. I desire greatly to know who I am, so I can live out who I am. I've been arwen, the sensitive good child, the rebellious adolescent, the grunge-girl, the sexual teenager, the ever-so-often church goer, the sorority girl, the one in love, the partier, the pot-smoker, the hypocrite, the anxious one terrified of having another seizure, the depressed one, the single girl, the prodigal son, the bible reader, the angry cynical christian, the christian university student, the psychology student, the counselor, the old single woman, the self-aware, the inspired one, the elitist, the snob, the Montreal girl, the writer and reader, the lost one.
I think the problem lies with the fact that I base my identity on my feelings because of their strength, and because I experience the world through my heart. But since feelings are always changing, I am also always changing.
4am thoughts.
(Please don't respond that I need to find my identity in God. If that's the only thing you got from what I wrote, then you haven't understood)
I am currently Arwen the reader and writer. But is that who I am? A part of me thinks that I am kidding myself, and this compulsion I have to be authentic and true to myself makes it all the more complicated. I desire greatly to know who I am, so I can live out who I am. I've been arwen, the sensitive good child, the rebellious adolescent, the grunge-girl, the sexual teenager, the ever-so-often church goer, the sorority girl, the one in love, the partier, the pot-smoker, the hypocrite, the anxious one terrified of having another seizure, the depressed one, the single girl, the prodigal son, the bible reader, the angry cynical christian, the christian university student, the psychology student, the counselor, the old single woman, the self-aware, the inspired one, the elitist, the snob, the Montreal girl, the writer and reader, the lost one.
I think the problem lies with the fact that I base my identity on my feelings because of their strength, and because I experience the world through my heart. But since feelings are always changing, I am also always changing.
4am thoughts.
(Please don't respond that I need to find my identity in God. If that's the only thing you got from what I wrote, then you haven't understood)
M
Last year (and the year before, come to think of it) we had to dig up our well and do some work on it. There was a huge dirt pile for way too long, and I can't tell you how relieved I was to get the hole filled back in (my husband ended up building a cinder block well house so's we don't ever have to dig again).
Now, in the place where the dirt had been piled, there are a whole bunch of interesting plants growing that weren't there before. Some of them are climbers, and they were just stretching out across the ground, searching for the nearest thing they could wrap around. So I put some stakes out near several of them, and within a few hours, these plants had re-directed themselves, and a few had already started climbing the stakes.
This is amazing to me. How does a plant- a PLANT- know to turn itself a different direction? How does a PLANT know what is tall enough to climb up? How does it move? WHY does it do these things?
I'm sure somebody has an answer; there's some smart peeps up in here who could probably explain it scientifically, and that's cool...but I like the feeling of wonder. I like watching this happen out in the yard and thinking how awesome God is, how carefully and perfectly He created everything.
I hope these plants are flowers...
Now, in the place where the dirt had been piled, there are a whole bunch of interesting plants growing that weren't there before. Some of them are climbers, and they were just stretching out across the ground, searching for the nearest thing they could wrap around. So I put some stakes out near several of them, and within a few hours, these plants had re-directed themselves, and a few had already started climbing the stakes.
This is amazing to me. How does a plant- a PLANT- know to turn itself a different direction? How does a PLANT know what is tall enough to climb up? How does it move? WHY does it do these things?
I'm sure somebody has an answer; there's some smart peeps up in here who could probably explain it scientifically, and that's cool...but I like the feeling of wonder. I like watching this happen out in the yard and thinking how awesome God is, how carefully and perfectly He created everything.
I hope these plants are flowers...
D
I'm on a roll today. Fixed breakfast, went for a 3 mile walk/run (ran back because of rain), prepared lunch and dinner (to be warmed later), shaved (which I usually only do a few times a week. Do you know how expensive razor blades are?), all before 10AM. I suppose I should mention I'm referring to 10AM Pacific Time and I live on the east coast. 
P
June 11 devotional from the book
"Jesus Calling"
Trust Me and dobt be afraid , for I AM your strength and song. Do not let fear dissapate your energy . Instead , invest your energy in trusting Me and singing My song. The battle for control of your mind is fierce , Abd years of worry have made you vulnerable to the enemy. Therefore , you need to be vigilant in guarding your thoughts. Do not despise this weakness in yourself , since I Am using it to draw you closer to Me . Your constant need for Me creates intimacy that is well worth all the effort . You are not alone in this struggle for your mind . My Spirit living within in you is ever ready to help in this striving . Ask Him to control your mind; He will bless you with Life and Peace .
Isaiah 12:2
Surely God is my salvation ; I will trust and not be afraid . The Lord , the Lord , is my strength and my song ; He has become my salvation.
Romans 8:6
The mind of a sinful man is death , but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace .
"Jesus Calling"
Trust Me and dobt be afraid , for I AM your strength and song. Do not let fear dissapate your energy . Instead , invest your energy in trusting Me and singing My song. The battle for control of your mind is fierce , Abd years of worry have made you vulnerable to the enemy. Therefore , you need to be vigilant in guarding your thoughts. Do not despise this weakness in yourself , since I Am using it to draw you closer to Me . Your constant need for Me creates intimacy that is well worth all the effort . You are not alone in this struggle for your mind . My Spirit living within in you is ever ready to help in this striving . Ask Him to control your mind; He will bless you with Life and Peace .
Isaiah 12:2
Surely God is my salvation ; I will trust and not be afraid . The Lord , the Lord , is my strength and my song ; He has become my salvation.
Romans 8:6
The mind of a sinful man is death , but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace .