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To be honest I have no idea what female attraction even looks like, Hollywood is obviously wrong. No woman throws themselves at anyone, except maybe on COPS. Thats always more lust than anything. But I do believe that there is an attraction that supersedes physicality and appearance. I was for the longest time attracted to a CCer named Haley4Jesus and I don't really know what she looks like or what her voice sounds like. I only know her mind and what she is passionate about.
With men, I can clearly see when a guy is attracted to a girl. I can see it from miles away. With a guy its like a deep longing to connect on a unique level. For something beautiful to see the deep spark of beauty within us and to accept it, as we accept them. As men we expose and express the parts of ourselves that we value in the hopes that women could possibly value those same things about us.
But I am more inclined to believe that most women simply tolerate us for the most part. They "Put up with" terrible guys, and deal with Dorky boyfriends, and complain about aloof husbands. And that is at the best of times. That deep resonating Connection, seems more myth than reality. But I know its the highest aim. And frankly I know its impossible to get there from a position of sexual attraction or simple biological utilitarianism.
With men, I can clearly see when a guy is attracted to a girl. I can see it from miles away. With a guy its like a deep longing to connect on a unique level. For something beautiful to see the deep spark of beauty within us and to accept it, as we accept them. As men we expose and express the parts of ourselves that we value in the hopes that women could possibly value those same things about us.
But I am more inclined to believe that most women simply tolerate us for the most part. They "Put up with" terrible guys, and deal with Dorky boyfriends, and complain about aloof husbands. And that is at the best of times. That deep resonating Connection, seems more myth than reality. But I know its the highest aim. And frankly I know its impossible to get there from a position of sexual attraction or simple biological utilitarianism.
A couple of ways women show attraction:
Well from my experience women who are attracted to me are at best accepting of my pursuit of them, In the same way that a deer will sometimes let you pet it, by not running away. But even in this there is a sort of tense discomfort, as if they have let Shrek on to the Parade grounds and at any moment he is going to unleash his vengeance on the Castle.
At worst they play games and are flighty, like a leprechaun luring me into their Labyrinth of mind games. They like this and that and this and that, and if you don't like their list as much as they do, a magical trap door opens and suddenly I'm outside again, no longer as attractive as before.
Whenever its real attraction, and I strongly feel it from her, its strangely forbidden. I really like you, but my husband blah blah blah(I sort of zone out after hearing husband). I really like you but, I'm not 18 yet. I really like you but, I have 5 warrants for shoplifting and I'm a pot dealer. I really like you but I hate Men and Sex and I have massive carts of baggage and I will probably cheat on you.
Well from my experience women who are attracted to me are at best accepting of my pursuit of them, In the same way that a deer will sometimes let you pet it, by not running away. But even in this there is a sort of tense discomfort, as if they have let Shrek on to the Parade grounds and at any moment he is going to unleash his vengeance on the Castle.
At worst they play games and are flighty, like a leprechaun luring me into their Labyrinth of mind games. They like this and that and this and that, and if you don't like their list as much as they do, a magical trap door opens and suddenly I'm outside again, no longer as attractive as before.
Whenever its real attraction, and I strongly feel it from her, its strangely forbidden. I really like you, but my husband blah blah blah(I sort of zone out after hearing husband). I really like you but, I'm not 18 yet. I really like you but, I have 5 warrants for shoplifting and I'm a pot dealer. I really like you but I hate Men and Sex and I have massive carts of baggage and I will probably cheat on you.
I'm wondering what this would look like. I mean... I'm guessing a woman would smack a man with a spatula (while she may or may not be wearing socks) and shout, "HEY, I LIKE Y.... *barf*."
I'm thinking... if that was my initial reaction around a man... Uh... I might have a friend tell him I like him instead.
It would at least give a girl time to calm her nerves.
It sounds like you're seeking out the "wrong kinds" of women. You're so much better than the overly damaged females who are afraid you'll pull out the rug from under than (those tend to be the codependent ones). And you're definitely better than the classic "I'm gonna flirt with you because it makes me feel better" or "If you don't fit my overly detailed list of "needs" so that I have a reason to reject you" types of women. And as for the real attraction that's forbidden, that's a whole other conversation in and of itself. You're a highly intelligent man, Liamson. I'm probably not telling you anything you don't already know or haven't considered. Why do you think you've found yourself in these kinds of situations?
With all due respect, if you were only looking for positive feedback, then you weren't looking for an open spiritual discussion anyway. Before we descended into madness, many people said they didn't like FOTF to begin with. You are entitled to your opinion as we are to ours. I appreciate that you posted the link, and I'm sure people listened to it that didn't post. However, if you posted this in an effort to get praise or for thanks, then I dare say your motives were wrong to begin with.
Really? I guess that's a shared difference between guys and girls: Girls can tell when girls are attracted to a guy, guys can tell when guys are attracted to girls, but when it comes to one knowing whether the other is attracted to them, we're at a loss. Hopefully that sentence is less confusing than it sounds.
I would say "Or maybe that's just me and my inability to interpret signs or my great ability at misinterpreting them" but based on the threads I've seen on here, I'm not as alone in that as I think.
I would say "Or maybe that's just me and my inability to interpret signs or my great ability at misinterpreting them" but based on the threads I've seen on here, I'm not as alone in that as I think.
I think it is because it is so different.
When a man is in love with a Woman, it isn't the same as when a woman is in love with a man.
Women are naturally soft, graceful, lovely, warm, considerate creatures but, when they are in love they are not.
Men are strong, confident, brave, and fearless but, when we are in love, we are not.
I couple of years ago two of my friends got married. And they fell in love hard. They were both going to school and he was going to be an Engineer and she was in Child development or something I dunno. But he is very athletic and she is usually very graceful. But together, they sort of melted each other. She would blush, drop dishes and pans. He would stutter, stare and look totally unsure of himself. Playing board or Card games with a group of us as friends usually meant cut throat rivalries but not for these two, they would work together and let each other win, but THEN they started dating and just left no ambiguity as to where that was headed.
G
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'The Ways of Women' -- the second installment in a series of books about women, from a man's perspective...
The first installment is the ever-popular 'All I Know About Women'.
Both books are beautifully hard-bound in a leather cover.
"
[ Both books contain 1000 clean, white, blank pages...
]
Apparently, they are 'multiple-use' books...
'The Ways of Women' -- the second installment in a series of books about women, from a man's perspective...
The first installment is the ever-popular 'All I Know About Women'.
Both books are beautifully hard-bound in a leather cover.
"
[ Both books contain 1000 clean, white, blank pages...
]Apparently, they are 'multiple-use' books...