Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
24,644
4,305
113
Some days/nights, I just don't know what to do with myself or what's wrong with me. I NEVER cry, and yesterday, I was so "off" I bumped my head and I cried. Tonight I felt like crying because my mom asked me to do something but didn't do it so she said forget it and I once again felt like crying.

Gar, what the heck is wrong with me? =\
Aww sorry Lil. Cheer up though. We all have days like that. Hope your throat is better. God bless.
 
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Catlynn

Guest
Soooo much happens on CC while I'm sleeping. o_o
 

DuchessAimee

Senior Member
Apr 27, 2011
3,922
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I don't like the quiet tonight. It's one of those rare times I really miss my old life...going places, doing things, having "fun"...though in my heart and mind I know better, my flesh says "Party time?"

No, no it's not, now hush.

It's weird. I've got two sleeping babies here, soft music playing, I'm drinking coffee like it's going out of style. My house is cozy and comfortable and I've never felt more at home anywhere.

So why with the sudden subtle pull towards things I've left behind for good? Why on earth would they even sound sort of appealing now?

...why am I still drinking coffee at this time of night?

I wish I lived closer to you. I'd happily drink coffee with you and discuss the lunacy of it. You're a cool chick, Cris.
 
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Catlynn

Guest
Be like me and join the insomniac club. You can be the treasurer.
Um...I would never get anything done. Ever. I have to wake up at 5am and am constantly on the go until the kids' nap time (my daughter, niece, nephew and little girl I watch) at which time I work out and then continue on with activities until around 8pm when I feel like absolutely passing out again. lol
 
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MissCris

Guest
The birds around here are all on drugs. I think they get it from the squirrels, because everyone knows squirrels are bad news. I saw a squirrel eat a slice of pepperoni pizza once...munchies.

I'm possibly sporting a spit-up covered hoodie today. I want to get up and change it, but then, some days there is almost no point, because everything I wear will get puked on.

Ugh, no, gotta change it.

...why do I live in a world where all the animals are thugs and bullies and addicts? Disney- the Dark Side.
 

lil_christian

Senior Member
Mar 14, 2010
7,489
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Sleep is a wonderful thing. Makes me feel so much better.
 

Immawildthing

Senior Member
Jan 20, 2013
1,371
14
38
I really should stop overdoing it, and sit down when I feel tired. My back and my feet are killing me, and all I did was go shopping. Albeit, it was a very long day of shopping, but still.
 
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Powemm

Guest
I use to work as an assistant director for a national childcare facility .. I have a passion and fire for kids .. I designed programs for social skills , worked with deaf children, and my favorites were always the ones full of anger .. They didn't have the vocabulary to speak how they felt so they displayed it in their actions instead ..I winder if this is the direction I'm to head back too... it was the most satisfying of any job I had and the hardest of any job I had .. I left when I was promoted to a certified trainer position with a territory .. I got away from what I loved and that was the direct care with the children ..
started working with adults and teachers who really had no desire to change what they were doing to meet the needs that
best suited the children .. I burned out quickly .. Went to school ad got into the medical field working with children who had cystic fibrosis .. Then pediatric cardiac care .. Then switched over to geriatric care, working with heart transplant patients .. Burned out after nine years of chasing what ?? I love serving people .. But i can read children like a book .. I connect with them most .. I act like them most .. Perhaps o should back track and review this area a little more .. I'd really love to work on a ranch somewhere Designed for kids who have special needs because of foster care issues , abandonment issues , divorce issues etc. Sent there for reasons beyond their control. I get where they're coming from , I know the anger . It's sad a degree is required to have the privilege to work with such kids .. I get all the politics of it .. but what about people who have traveled down the roads of experience in it .. What about what God has done to heal them.. What services are misse
d because if a piece of paper .. started looking into places where these types of foundations are .. Would require living on the grounds .. Wich I know would not be a problem for me .. most places of this nature want a counseling degree .. leaving Christ out if a lot of the teachings allowable I'm finding . Perhaps I need to looks further and deeper into it .. Knock on some doors , make some calls..
just thinking out loud ..
 
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Powemm

Guest
Something just hit me like a ton of bricks ..
I've worked with heart patients for the last "nine" years ... Started out general General cardiology , then went to interventional cardilogy, then to advanced cardiology .. Perhaps ive been looking at the wrong heart issue ..
Perhaps it's " hearts towards God" .. Wich I have an absolute passion, desire , and love for..hmmmm a new thought has occurred ... Now what Lord?
 
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Powemm

Guest
Sin- is it a result of a heart issue towards God?
Where we put our confidence in
Who we believe
Who we ultimately trust
Who we ultimately run too in a trial
Who we hand troubles and emotions too

He wants the " first" of everything ..
Hos answer on tithing just came .. I've debated this for the longest time in my mind.. Put money in the basket or not?
Well the first ten percent are the ones I pass up on my way" to the basket"..
A clear answer given I love how god works .
100% goes to that person , 100% is used to meettjeor basic needs ..
heart issues ....
Heart problems towards God.. What do I so with all this information God? What you have taught me .. Where do I go with it .. What season,? what person? , what place ?
The issue is not where .. The issue is staying connected in the place , with the person , in the time god brings them along our path .. Staying in constant communication .. A working vessel for Him to meet the person and the person to cone to know Him, not us.. But Him.. forget the social climbing ladders , pecking orders , who's the funniest , most well spoke. Or even most well versed in the scriptures..it's not about the debates , or correction .. It's about the love if his comin through .. Bending to His will and showing His grace in the face of someone undeserving .. It's easy to love those who love you .. Easy..
How much better to love those who don't ..
 
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Powemm

Guest
Lots on my mind today .. quiet time with God needed .. A purer perspective of what's come to be sorted through with Him.. I love how He takes a twisted view and straigtens it out ..
 
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Powemm

Guest
My grandmother said something to me once ..

"at first they hate you
Then they run from you
Then they tolerate you
Then you win"
It's not you that wins but Christ in you that wins
I believe grandma was right
 

lil_christian

Senior Member
Mar 14, 2010
7,489
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One week until a part of my heart goes to the other side of the country...
 

Markum1972

Senior Member
Mar 25, 2013
1,165
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Maybe this should go in the testimonies section, but it is going here anyways. :p

Yesterday at the child protective services, the kids were out of control. Denise and the kids had no attention spans. People around were becoming irritated by the disruption. Mostly the 2 year old was leading all of the commotion. I tried to warn Denise at one point. She did not hear me so when I left for a moment, the security guards came and scolded her for hers and the children's behavior.
We finally got in a private room with the case workers and foster mother. The commotion continued. I secretly prayed in the tongue of angels. Moments after, the power of God came upon me. I called out through the noise and commotion of the room, "Nicole". <---the 2 years old.
She was the only one that heard me from across the room as everyone else continued chattering and the commotion continued. It was like a noisy storm in the spirit that had been going on for over an hour while I just sat quietly remaining at peace waiting upon the Lord.
Nicole came to me (even though she was not listening to ANYONE before). The power of God was upon me and I leaned down and began to whisper in her ear in the tongue of angels. For the first time since we got there, she remained still listening intently to every word that came out of my mouth. This went on way beyond the attention span of a 2 year old. When I finished, Nicole took a step back and looked straight into my eyes and smiled at me as if to let me know that she understood every word.
I turned to Denise next. I saw into the spirit and saw the fear and commotion in her eyes. Again, I felt the power of God rise up within me. I began to speak. I do not even remember everything I said. I only remember that I ended it all by saying, "So then. Be at peace and be still." The fear immediately left her eyes. Her entire countenance changed. Her body language took on a form of peace and stillness. The atmosphere changed in the room. There was a sudden peace.
Nicole crawled up into Denise's lap, curled up with her, and went to sleep.
This was the most that the social workers had heard me speak in the two meetings I had been at. I am sure they had been thinking, "Who is this guy? Why is he here? What are his intentions?"
One of the two social workers began to talk for the first time without interruption. She was talking about being supportive and believing that Denise was able to overcome and make it through everything. She then said in a bold voice, "And you." She turned to me. "You are her biggest supporter in all of this."
I was a bit perplexed. But this was the answer I had been seeking. Wondering how involved I should really be. I simply put my head down and nodded yes as a way of saying, "So be it."
 
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lil_christian

Senior Member
Mar 14, 2010
7,489
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I don't think I've struggled so much in my life before. Feeling like I'm hanging on for dear life. Hanging on by a thread that is bound to break some time. Why can't this be some nightmare I can wake up from? I know God's grace will be sufficient for me. But it hurts to have to let go.

I need to get it together before I help lead people in praise in worship. Or maybe I should just call off tonight and they can sing a Capella.

I need something. Anything. I need YOU, Jesus.
 

Markum1972

Senior Member
Mar 25, 2013
1,165
32
48
I don't think I've struggled so much in my life before. Feeling like I'm hanging on for dear life. Hanging on by a thread that is bound to break some time. Why can't this be some nightmare I can wake up from? I know God's grace will be sufficient for me. But it hurts to have to let go.

I need to get it together before I help lead people in praise in worship. Or maybe I should just call off tonight and they can sing a Capella.

I need something. Anything. I need YOU, Jesus.
I know we are not supposed to reply. This is not just for you lil.

God is more than able to use us despite our failures. His strength is made perfect in our weakness. Go. Serve. Trust and see what God does. It will be awesome. Come back and tell us about it. :)
 

lil_christian

Senior Member
Mar 14, 2010
7,489
73
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I wonder why we're not supposed to reply? I wasn't really ever aware we weren't. lol