I hate not being able to tell people what's REALLY going on.
'Hate' is such a strong word, littleChristone, but, I know what you mean, I also know what you should do: find someone both on c.c. whom you can confide in your inner thoughts, who is same faith-based believing way as you as much is possible, and, in your church, find a good mentor older person to help you, and, hopefully, too, you have a good girl friend Christian gal you can confide in to your thoughts of the day. The Lord leads, but, like YOU said, milady, 'ask God' for help in finding these folks which are important folk to have in your life, we need friends who we can trust and communicate with. Pray. He will help you, and, you will find 'them.' VERY important, besides sounding off to mom, and, telling daddy-O your importants of life, that you have others you can free your inner, pent-up thoughts of the soul to . "Whatever you ask in My name will be given to you." Pray often, pray with your supplications known and let those needs/desires be known to God and pray without ceasing Psalms 37:4