Working on our singleness

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G

GWYW_Bob

Member
#41
Jun 12, 2020
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#41
cinder said:
We're all aware that marriage requires work and effort and frequent retreats and conferences (at least in most churches) to be successful at it and do it well. And I've lost count of the number of friends who have made comments about we need to work on our marriage or we're working on our marriage. And partially because I'm working my way through a great book about Christian singleness ( 7 myths about singleness by Sam Allberry) and partly because I've maybe become a bit sensitive about how singleness is viewed completely differently from marriage, I started thinking about how to say we're working on our singleness would sound really ridiculous to most people, but also that we probably do need to pay as much attention to making a success of our single lives as married people work on making a success of their marriages and married lives. So questions for discussion:

What does a successful single life look like from a Christian perspective (in terms of living life while single, not necessarily staying single for life)?

What are our unique challenges to living a successful single life?

What have you done or do you want to do to work at making your life as a Christian single more successful?

How would someone go about working on being successfully single while wanting to get married and no longer be single?

What abilities and lifeskills are worth cultivating for living a successful single life?

And since all our married friends have been single in the past, as always their perspectives are welcome. And when I have some more time and answers to such questions, I'll share my thoughts as well.
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"How would someone go about working on being successfully single while wanting to get married and no longer be single?"

The same things, just our walk with God, our desire to know and obey God's word. Most people need to get married to avoid sexual sin so the goal should be marriage as far as a calling for nearly everyone. What we need to be as a single we need to be married. Unselfish, forgiving, kind, all of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 is a good start.

I like your questions. "What are our unique challenges to living a successful single life?" Many challenges are the same for both singleness and marriage. As for one unique challenge for a single person (I was until 53), I would say a profound sense of not belonging. I now belong to my wife and she belongs to me. As a single man, I just never felt like I fit or belonged.

A second challenge to reply to your good questions, would be that I think there is or can be a stigma as a single person that doesn't exist the same way for a married person, within the church. Do people think singles especially older ones are immature, selfish, unmotivated, untrustworthy? There is always the thought "Why is that person single?" No one asks "Why did that person get married".
 
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