Okay, I get it now. But again, you must keep an open mind and get rid of any preconceived notions of what a "legitimate date" is. Think outside the box. For example, you're at a self-serve laundry place (in the US, we call them laundromats). You spot a single woman throwing her clothes in the wash. Perfect! You're nearly on the same timeline, so you quickly throw yours in and head out the door.
Your destination is the nearest fast food place that no one would object to. You order a small burger, a small fish sandwich (in case she hates beef--see where I'm going with this?), and a couple of small beverages. If you have some money left over, throw in an order of fries.
Now, get back there before she leaves!
You walk back into the laundromat and quickly observe what's happening. If it's something tragic, like there's another dude with her, at least you have dinner and maybe even breakfast all set up for yourself. Also, notice if she's washing or folding any men's clothes. It will tip you off that she's either married or living with another man.
If she's still alone, confidently walk up to her and say hello. Her eyes will immediately be drawn to the bag of yummies you have in your hand.
As you start taking the stuff out of the bag and laying it out on a nearby table, you say, "I noticed you working extremely hard, so I figured you might be hungry. Go ahead and help yourself to whatever you want here and I'll take whatever's left over."
"By the way, my name is Todd. Please, help yourself."
Now, there are three possible outcomes to this scenario:
1. She takes a huge risk and eats with you
You may think that a woman would be out of her mind to eat with someone she's never met before. But consider that many women have done even crazier things, such as "hooking up" with a man they just met.
To increase your chances of success here, it's best to dress professionally, with your hair combed well, and your shoes polished to perfection. Also, maintain a humble but confident attitude. You want to convey that what you are doing is perfectly normal and safe for her, especially if she has an urgent need for food.
If you want to decrease the risk for her, your gift option would be sealed bottled beverages or flavored water that any woman would enjoy. Let her pick and choose from a variety of options.
As you are eating together, ask her how her day is going and segue into what she does for work. Next, you'll go a bit deeper and ask about what she likes to do for fun. You may even have an opportunity to ask a romantic question, which I'll cover in another post.
Voila! You just had your first date! After you finish stuffing your face and finish folding your tighty whities, tell her you'll meet her at the same place and time next week, maybe with a bucket of chicken. Of course, it will be a surprise!
2. She asks, "What the *@#&% are you doing?"
Again, it's important to realize that, as shocking as this would be for anyone to witness, I guarantee she has never experienced anything like this in her life. This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing that is so outrageous that she will remember you--for better or worse-- until the day she dies.
No matter how she asks the question, "Why are you doing this," it's best to respond with something like, "Even though I know for sure I'm going to heaven one day, I have a feeling my job up there will be a janitor. So, I figure if I do enough nice things for people while I'm alive, God might promote me to shoe-shine boy."
I've said this sort of thing to women on occasion, and I usually get a chuckle. But no matter what response you use, keep it light.
3. She says, "No thanks, I'm not hungry."
This would probably be the most common response but don't give up just yet. You've already said hello and offered her food. There's a high probability that this is not the worst encounter she's ever had with a man.
Put the bag of food aside and say something like, "Oh, that's okay, I'm going to save all this for breakfast tomorrow." By the way, I'm Todd."
If she offers her name, it's time to continue the conversation. If she says hi without saying her name, you're not blown out of the water yet. You could ask her how her day is going or ask her what's the story behind a unique piece of jewelry she's wearing.
Still, it could mean that she is either having a bad day or she just doesn't want to bother socializing right now. Either way, NEVER take a rejection personally.
I know I've droned on a bit here, but the main thing I want for you is to become more positive overall. Don't dwell on the past. What's worked for me, especially after my divorce, was binge-watching silly comedy shows like I Love Lucy and Gomer Pyle. It's true what they say, laughter is the best medicine.
Talk to you again soon.
bruh. no.
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