What Would Happen to the Structure of the Christian Family If Most Men Became House Husbands?

[seoulsearch]

Did he read the whole first post or just the title? I know which way I'd bet.

I could be wrong, but I'm guessing the entire original post was read after making post #51 but before Post #56, seeing as it was quoted there.

 

[seoulsearch]

Since it has been shown in Sociology, that the Infant from age 0 to age 6years, identifies most readily, and seeks attention, with Mother, your offspring will be emotionally stunted, hard to educate, and easily distanced from their own good. Thanks for asking.

This is just my own situation, but "offspring" won't be part of the equation for me, due to medical and personal reasons.

In response to your, "Thanks for asking," you are quite welcome.

Thanks for taking the time to respond.

 

[JohnDB]

These are interesting thoughts to ponder.

Maybe my experiences are just atypical.

I have been in 4 long-term relationships in my life -- the 2nd resulting in marriage, during which he left for a girl we worked with, and the last 2 being so bad that it's kept me single for nearly 20 years. I decided I would rather be alone than repeatedly dealing with what I found in relationships.

One of the major issues I found every time was money, but it was always in reverse. The guys spent everything they had, often as a coping mechanism for emotional issues they were going through, and even though I was only working minimum wage-type jobs, I always wound up paying for them.

I've told this story often -- during my single years, I went to meet a guy I'd been talking to on one of the Christian dating sites who was an engineer. He seemed a bit disdainful of my rather humble work status. Funny thing though, we went to go for a walk in a park near where I lived (I didn't say where I lived, but that I lived nearby), and once he saw the neighborhood, his interest mysteriously turned around. Especially since he told me he'd just foreclosed on his house...

So as a woman, I understand some of the opposition men are finding, such as running into women who think they don't hold high enough-paying jobs, etc. And I know very well what it's like to be used as an ATM. I've had several guy friends who have all kinds of dating stories in which women tried to drain their wallets, but I've also known older women who have been proposed to by men who found out they inherited a house and/or money.

But I understand that not every man is built to be a CEO or silicone valley wizard, and yet he may have a plethora of talents to give -- part of the reason for this thread is to talk about the range of things singles have to offer, because it's not a one-size-fits-all. And the same holds true for women. The men I dated were terrible with money and would not accept that a woman might possibly be more educated within that realm, maybe because he assumed the leader of the household should also handle the finances.

I was debt-free up until a couple years ago when I had some things happen in my life; but God blessed me and helped me and I told Him I would pay a self-imposed (by choice) tithe on what He had helped me with as a show of thanks. It took almost 5 years, but now that debt is paid off as well. (Not meaning that our debt to God could ever be paid off; I just mean, God helped me complete what I told Him I would do.)

So one of my challenges as a woman is meeting a man who can believe in a woman who manages money responsibly (seeing as all my female friends are this way too, and we are all working towards becoming debt-free and possible retirement, if we're single for that long.) I would be thrilled to death to find someone to talk to who was well-versed in finances (as I consider myself to be only a beginner to mediocre, but I'm trying to learn more all the time in an effort to do the best what what God gives me.)

At the same time, I know men have a hard time finding women who are down-to-earth, relatable, and can accept them as they are, even if that means being someone who is never going to own a business or run a company.

It seems that Christian singles, both men and women, are both being forced into becoming increasingly more and more independent -- and perhaps it's made all of us a far too inflexible as to what we think we will tolerate in another person.

Being able to be independent is good...both parties capable and able and willing to bring resources to a relationship and join ministries into a larger and stronger ministry is best.

That's the sum total of our wedding vows.
It had an effect on those who heard....we didn't express our unending love for each other...we talked about our relationship with God and our joining together over that worship. Yeah...kinda different but it's us.

God is the central focus of our marriage...in spirit and in truth. We both like giving to altruistic purposes...always....and in any fashion we think we can.

 

[seoulsearch]

Being able to be independent is good...both parties capable and able and willing to bring resources to a relationship and join ministries into a larger and stronger ministry is best.

That's the sum total of our wedding vows.
It had an effect on those who heard....we didn't express our unending love for each other...we talked about our relationship with God and our joining together over that worship. Yeah...kinda different but it's us.

God is the central focus of our marriage...in spirit and in truth. We both like giving to altruistic purposes...always....and in any fashion we think we can.

This is a very succinct summary of a profound observation -- thank you for taking the time to share it.

I think that maybe a good number of us singles get so used to it being God + Us (especially after so many years,) that we really aren't sure how to work out an equation that now includes God + Us + Another Person (and their children, as many singles are also single parents.)

 

[apwall21]

These are interesting thoughts to ponder.

Maybe my experiences are just atypical.

I have been in 4 long-term relationships in my life -- the 2nd resulting in marriage, during which he left for a girl we worked with, and the last 2 being so bad that it's kept me single for nearly 20 years. I decided I would rather be alone than repeatedly dealing with what I found in relationships.
One of the major issues I found every time was money, but it was always in reverse. The guys spent everything they had, often as a coping mechanism for emotional issues they were going through, and even though I was only working minimum wage-type jobs, I always wound up paying for them.

I'm sorry to hear you once chose fornication and adultery in your life. I made this mistake as well.
Good chance you got bad partners, cause you were a bad partner too. Repentance, as you've found out, is a better option. But all your partners were made in the image of God, so they all had some blessing that was worthy. And whatever caused you to be fornicative before you took vows, I can guess, if we step back from your personal story, it has much to do with a culture that refused you to be married when you were first engaging in sexual activity.

No, males must not take 2nd place in leadership, even if they are not the major bread winner. They may, individually, decide as a leader that their wife has a better mind, but that must be individually picked by him to choose her will, not his will given up.

 

[apwall21]

Being able to be independent is good....

Exactly the opposite of what God said about Adam.

 

[seoulsearch]

I made this mistake as well.

What things happened that set you on the path to turning your life around?

 

[apwall21]

What things happened that set you on the path to turning your life around?

Jesus, experience, time to reflect on both. Facing death has most recently changed my view on my permissiveness of approval toward the sins of those around me. Knowing that God is Good, All The Time, and I'm worse than a worm, and that my salvation was free, and my neighbor is dying for a lack of that knowledge, has put a bit of a fire under me on more than one occasion. But all my good things are in Jesus and God the Father.

 

[seoulsearch]

I'm sorry to hear you once chose fornication and adultery in your life. I made this mistake as well.
Good chance you got bad partners, cause you were a bad partner too. Repentance, as you've found out, is a better option. But all your partners were made in the image of God, so they all had some blessing that was worthy. And whatever caused you to be fornicative before you took vows, I can guess, if we step back from your personal story, it has much to do with a culture that refused you to be married when you were first engaging in sexual activity.

No, males must not take 2nd place in leadership, even if they are not the major bread winner. They may, individually, decide as a leader that their wife has a better mind, but that must be individually picked by him to choose her will, not his will given up.

There are several assumptions in this post but everyone is free to come to their own conclusions. The information I gave was just given as an example.

Rather, I would like to ask about:

Jesus, experience, time to reflect on both. Facing death has most recently changed my view on my permissiveness of approval toward the sins of those around me. Knowing that God is Good, All The Time, and I'm worse than a worm, and that my salvation was free, and my neighbor is dying for a lack of that knowledge, has put a bit of a fire under me on more than one occasion. But all my good things are in Jesus and God the Father.

Have you seen a lot or much turnaround by others when confronting them about their sins? I know it's always God that's at work, but what I mean is, have you found confronting them to be useful?

I'm genuinely curious about this because I've often asked God if my own approach to witnessing needs a little fine-tuning (as we all need,) or an outright overhaul.

Do you have any tips on how to approach people about this?

For instance, I once worked in a business where 80% of my co-workers were living with their partners rather than marrying. I've often wondered how one talks to someone about this.

Do you have any suggestions or personal experience in handling these situations?

 

[jennymae]

Good Lord, @apwall21, I think society would be better off if we managed to make a healthy division between masculinity and femininity. You seem a little preoccupied with the masculine part.

 

[Lynx]

So one of my challenges as a woman is meeting a man who can believe in a woman who manages money responsibly (seeing as all my female friends are this way too, and we are all working towards becoming debt-free and possible retirement, if we're single for that long.)

Judging by a sampling of males on a forum I know about... Good luck finding a guy like that.

 

[seoulsearch]

Judging by a sampling of males on a forum I know about... Good luck finding a guy like that.

As One of the Manliest Men of Machoism like to say, "NEVER TELL ME THE ODDS!" (courtesy of everyone's Favorite Scruffy-Looking Nerf Herder, Mr. Han Solo.)

 

[Lynx]

As One of the Manliest Men of Machoism like to say, "NEVER TELL ME THE ODDS!" (courtesy of everyone's Favorite Scruffy-Looking Nerf Herder, Mr. Han Solo.)

Wasn't he also an adulterous fornicator? Er... At least before he met Leia.

 

[seoulsearch]

Wasn't he also an adulterous fornicator? Er... At least before he met Leia.

The power of a good woman.

Just kidding!

That, of course (and the butchering of Star Wars) is a whole 'nother conversation.

 

[Lynx]

The power of a good woman.

Just kidding!

That, of course (and the butchering of Star Wars) is a whole 'nother conversation.

Yeah but he met Leia and they became a couple in the REAL Star Wars, the first three movies.

 

[jennymae]

Judging by a sampling of males on a forum I know about... Good luck finding a guy like that.

This is a response to y’all, post #71 and etc and so forth and whatnot. Women hate debts and fancy cars. Or at least debts…lol.

 

[apwall21]

Good Lord, @apwall21, I think society would be better off if we managed to make a healthy division between masculinity and femininity. You seem a little preoccupied with the masculine part.

Considering,.... is that a Disney Character in your profile??... The Disney whose CEO has, not one, but TWO Children Under Age 8 what are supposedly Transgender? Anyway, I digress. Or wait...

 

[seoulsearch]

This is a response to y’all, post #71 and etc and so forth and whatnot. Women hate debts and fancy cars. Or at least debts…lol.

I truly do feel bad for men who have been taken to the cleaners by women.

I also try to warn my male friends from dating women like that, lol.

I'm very grateful for my women friends who are also single without kids and their top priorities are paying off debt, establishing living places/spiritual foundations, and saving for retirement -- rather than trying to flex on Instagram or ensnaring men for financial gain.

 

[jennymae]

Considering,.... is that a Disney Character in your profile??... The Disney whose CEO has, not one, but TWO Children Under Age 8 what are supposedly Transgender? Anyway, I digress. Or wait...

How many straws ya need to raise a straw man?😂

 

[Lynx]

Considering,.... is that a Disney Character in your profile??... The Disney whose CEO has, not one, but TWO Children Under Age 8 what are supposedly Transgender? Anyway, I digress. Or wait...

Really? You try to discredit somebody on the grounds of a cartoon avatar?

I can't listen to what you say because you used the D word. Those D people are so evil that even using the D name invites the evil. So you, sir, are evil because you used the D word.