What is reasonable to give up....?

[gypsygirl]

i agree with the ease of giving the small things. with the right company, i find myself easily capable of being content with many choices along the "choose your own adventure" path. and therein lies a real issue. in the past, guys have sort of run roughshod over me, since i can be so agreeable when it comes to making choices on both small and large things. and looking back, it's been my ease of surrender of these things that have contributed to my growing resentment of always being the one who was compromising, changing, and accommodating. i have a better ability to identify that threshold now, but i probably err on the side of willing abandon.

i generally tend to dig my heels in when it's more important, but so many things to me aren't really that critical.

i can readily give up a lot of stuff, but it would necessitate the relationship benefiting or requiring it. so many of the things asked, like the things that make up my shell (clothes, hair, etc) and even my job, locale, and the specifics of my current life would all be things i'd surrender for the right circumstance.

i also need to point out, many of these things i'd happily surrender to indulge a preference, but not because i was made to feel my acceptance was hinging upon it.

if i need to straighten or cut my long curly hair to make a guy happy, i am inclined to think that it's just not something i want a part of - i can't conceive of wanting a man to alter what is easy or most comfortable to indulge my fanciful whim. so to me, it's not the surrender of things, but the motivation for such a thing.

what i wouldn't change, or compromise are my values and beliefs. my faith. my integrity. my commitments.

the rest is negotiable, and certainly up for consideration. in fact, the fluidity of change is probably more comfortable for me, than the stalwart adherence of the established.

change is but a small price to pay for growth, opportunity and the adventures ahead.

 

[bafa]

I am sure that Grace-like-rain can defend herself, but I want to respond because I read this post too. Your criticism is invalid Sister bafa, because -
1) You don't know Grace-like-rain
2) You don't know anything about her situation or the problems she is facing
3) You don't know why she is currently working
4) You presume that she is not taking care of her children enough because of the choices she has made

I can tell you that she has been a blessing to many on this forum, including me. I am sure that her family is happy and well-nourished by her and by God. You have a right to your opinion, but please don't use it to criticize or discourage a fellow believer, much less someone whom you don't know.

i think your trying to scare me

 

[DCrawshawJr]

(Would you change your look? Gentlemen, would you grow or shave off a mustache or beard if your lady preferred that? Ladies, if your guy didn't like bangs, would you get a new hairstyle?)

I would be willing to change my looks to a point; I'm still trying to sort out the beard issue in the Old Testament, but that's a completely different thread (so please don't start)

(If you are close to your family, geographically and emotionally, would you move to a different part of the country? Would you move out of the country? What if there was a language barrier in your new part of the world?)

I probably wouldn't move far. My current family is my first ministry, along the lines of Mark 7:10-13 and I Timothy 5:8. Yes, I still believe in Genesis 2:24, but I still want to be on hand in case something adverse happens.

(Would you marry someone poor but who manages money well and is a good steward of his or her resources? What if this meant living a different lifestyle than the one to which you are accustomed?)

Martin Luther once said of his wife: "My Katie is so obliging and pleasing to me that I would not trade my poverty for the riches of Croessus." So, I have no problem marrying a poor wife.

(Would you give up certain things like eating fried chicken over the sink in favor of eating together as a family? Would you give up staying up too late to play on the computer or watch TV in favor of going to bed at the same time as your spouse...maybe even...praying together?)

She is my wife. Praying together and going to bed at the same time is no problem. This would fulfill the second and third actions of Genesis 2:24.

(Not giving up some of these things may be selfish, but is it possible to give up too many things? Can you lose what makes you YOU in the relationship? How does one find the balance?)

Honestly, there's not much I would be giving up anyway. If I marry, and whoever I marry, must be prepared to become #2 in my life, below God. She would be that precious to me. I've heard too many stories of divorces caused by marital neglect. I hope and pray that never happens in our marriage.

 

[garet82]

Like a song from lady gaga " you're giving me a million reasons"

When all things over and cant be fixed that time no other way except give up.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

What a bizarre thread to read through again!

I read the OP and thought, hey... I have thoughts to contribute to this. And then I scrolled down a bit and realized I'd already contributed them.

 

[CatHerder]

What a bizarre thread to read through again!

I read the OP and thought, hey... I have thoughts to contribute to this. And then I scrolled down a bit and realized I'd already contributed them.

Yes, this was bizarre - I just saw this and thought, "hey! That looks interesting!" Then saw that it was a thread that I had started (I barely remember!). It had some unusual twists and turns, didn't it? Thanks for your contributions!

 

[Hellooo]

Sorry for derailing it 2 years ago, catherder!

 

[bafa]

View attachment 93068 i'm blessed, and bless still..

i'm an heir.. my co-heir are my little brothers and sisters, my Father gave us our inheritance since birth. it's a big inheritance actually and i couldn't just handle it on my own. if i'm going to give up my father's will- i will lost everything(it's an ordinace that i should follow for me to keep it). if i'm going to gave it up; it's as similar as giving up my soul.. for me this is a matter of life and death .

my father's ordinances are:

*Do not kill.
*Do not steal.
*Do not pollute the sabbath day.
*Do not commit adultery.
*Do not bear false witness against your neighbor.
*Do not covet.
*Honour your father and your mother.
*There's no other God but our God the creator of heaven and earth.
*Do not commit idolatry.
*Thou shall not use the name of God in vain.

it's in exodus 20:1-20

It's about the Law of against murder. And he is King Jesus Christ the KingofKings my great great great great great great grandfather and i'm from Judah Israel.

 

[bafa]

you mean discriminate? it's the interpretation maybe.

Of course we're all allowed to have opinions. however, we need to be careful as to when/where/how and IF we share those opinions. You may not have meant it as a criticism, but it could easily be interpreted as such by a sensitive girl/young woman who is already insecure about her figure. I may not be skinny, but I have some dear girls in my life who are very skinny, and they struggle with feeling like they don't look like a "real woman" because they don't have "all the right curves in all the right places" (to quote a recently popular tune). You have every right to your opinion, isobel. But as Christians we ought to be sensitive as to whether our words may be a blessing to others. Women already face so much criticism (or "opinions") about their outward appearances out in the world. I know this is the internet, but as a forum filled with mostly Christians, I would love to see this be place where they don't have to deal with that.

 

[bafa]

op! there's the "derailing" words again.

 

[Lighthearted]

Real love doesn't require you to change. Real love accepts you the way you are.
Compromising isn't about changing who you are. Compromising is about gracefully sacrificing for someone else what you want for something better for both parties.
You should never lose yourself in a relationship.