Addressing the real issue of the thread?
Lynx,
That's exactly what I'm doing.
This thread was started, right in the OP, with the assertion of a false dilemma.
I'm addressing the false dilemma that was raised in the opening post.
I'm not accusing Tommy of any ill intentions.
But apparently he genuinely, and with sincere intentions, views dating in terms of this false dichotomy.
And when he discusses the matter of dating, he always presents it in terms of this false dilemma.
Again, I'm not accusing Tommy of any bad intentions,
and I've heard this same false dilemma raised right here in CC many many times.
I think it's a very common misunderstanding in Christianity.
Because it seems to be a COMMON MISUNDERSTANDING, and it WAS ASSERTED IN THE OP...
it's appropriate for me to address it.
It's appropriate for me to address foundational issues raised in the opening post.
It is commonly asserted a christian man has two methods to find a wife:
A. Be unassertive, sit home like a monk and pray, and wait for God to drop a girl at your door.
B. Be assertive, go out and find a woman, wholly without any help or guidance from God, expecting God to have no interest in the matter.
This is a very common false dilemma, and it's repeated and over and over.
And it's an error.
I explain the issue, and a biblical alternatives, in post #29.
Lynx,
In post #29, where I address this issue in detail, I think you'll find it to be the opposite of some cold heartless "debate."
What I talk about is how a more BIBLICAL VIEW of seeking a wife would be to do everything based on our walk with God.
We are to seek a wife through a close walk with God, in which we are pro-active, and assertive, but submitted to God's guidance, walking in relationship to Him.
That isn't really a matter of debate.
That is just to restate what the Bible clearly says about HOW WE SHOULD DO EVERYTHING.
We should seek a wife in this manner, because we are TOLD TO DO EVERYTHING IN THIS MANNER.
* If you think what I said is in error, then point out the error.
* If you think I'm off topic, a reread of the OP will show you everything I'm discussing was brought up by Tommy right in the OP, not dreamed up by me.
* If you think it's wrong of me to be contrary, and disagreeable... well... is it genuinely wrong of me to suggest people REFOCUS ON THEIR WALK WITH GOD, when someone is suggesting we should FOCUS ON OURSELVES AND IGNORE GOD?
I think you're a nice guy, and I think Tommy is a nice guy.
But I think that sometimes we need to take a deep breath, slow down, and really think about what we're saying.