"Why, good morning, O Great Chieftain," Tzipora smiled at the Great Chieftain as he exited his makeshift hut. The explorers had erected three huts on the shore of the Great Barry R's Island which had one way or another eventually become the Queen's Land - one hut for Tzipora and Bubba, as those two didn't seem to mind sharing with each other - one for the Great Chieftain, and the other for the good Mordecai. By the time the friends had erected three huts, they didn't have the strength to erect a fourth, so they told the bad Mordecai he would have to sleep under a bush or in a hole somewhere.
The good Mordecai - who apparently had been learning about the Great Barry R Island from one or more of the native Barries - had informed the bad Mordecai that there might be a bunyip who would be willing to share its billabong with him.
"It serves him right for being such a bad captain," the Great Chieftain had thought to himself.
However, thoughts of bad captain Mordecai were now far from his mind, and the Great Chieftain was staring at the beautiful Tzipora, who was somehow even more beautiful since adopting the poor, unloved, abandoned orphan Bubba. There was no one else present except Bubba, who was sleeping peacefully and contentedly on a crib placed at a safe distance from the breakfast fire, but Moses felt uncharacteristically awkward. "Had he been looking at Tzipora for too long already? Had he given her enough eye contact? Did she suspect anything? Would she know what he was thinking? Where were all these thoughts even coming from?"
"I said, good morning, O Great Chieftain," Tzipora repeated, admiringly. She guessed that the Great Chieftain must have a lot on his mind, what with the second sinking of the Titanic/Olympic, the culture-shock of having to deal with all these native Barry-Rs, and his ongoing struggle against his arch-nemesis the Empress E-Ruby of Rubyland with her growing list of notable associates including the Empress of Jennymaesia - renowned for her magical hair and her charity to defective clones, the Empress of Lanolinland who some folks were now claiming was the long-missing Baba Yaga's cruel stepmother Prusilla, and probably most regretably of all, the Great Chieftain's own cousin on his mother's side - Morty.
"I errr... oh, hello Tzipora, good morning," answered the Great Chieftain, looking quickly into her eyes and then staring at the beach sand in case she was somehow able to read his thoughts.
"I made you some breakfast," Tzipora announced cheerfully. "Bacon and eggs and mushrooms..." Her beautiful dark hair reflected the morning Barry-R Island sun in the most aesthetically pleasing way.
"Thankyou," the Great Chieftain replied simply, as he twirled the ring in his pocket. He thought of his ancestor, Moses the Oldest, and how he would be turning in his grave to think that one of his descendants was too afr... actually, it was more concerned - too concerned to ask a friend - a female friend even - a particular question. The same feeling of sudden dread had come upon him the previous night, when he had more boldly approached his friend to ask the same question. Instead, he had quickly hidden the ring and thought of another question - "Did she enjoy the weather, and didn't all these Barries have a funny accent?"
"The only stupid question is the question not asked," the Great Chieftain had told himself. "Perhaps that's why I can't ask this question?" he had reasoned. "As it is a stupid question, it is one that I had best not ask. I wouldn't want to hurt such a good friend with such a stupid question," he had told himself graciously.
Back in Jennymaesia, Eagle Two was disappointed that his Empress had seemed to suddenly overcome her Snow White syndrome. He really felt like reviving her, but alas, she didn't seem to need reviving just yet. "Perhaps she needed a little more champagne to bring it back?" he wondered. He made up his mind to speak to her about the sickness. As debilitating as it probably was, he rather liked when she had it.
Morty was gleefully recounting to Miss Ruby of a time long ago when he had thrown sand into the Great Chieftain's eyes (who was not, at that time, the Great Chieftain), and then, when the Great Chieftain had approached Morty to give him a proper drubbing, the Great Chieftain's father - Moses the Young - had appeared and given the Great Chieftain a big spanking with the largest stick in the yard and told him not to be a bully. The Empress E-Ruby of Rubyland told Morty about the time she had invaded Mosestaria with support from the Jennymaesian military, and forced the Great Chieftain to live in a cave in Antarctica for a year, and then frozen him and put his icecube in a park in Rubyland for all the Rubylanders to come and laugh at his oddly shaped frozen nose/head/moustache.
In Lanolinland, the Empress/President of Lanolinland was putting the theory of evolution to the test. In a more ignorant time, it was believed that “1,000 monkeys in a room with 1,000 typewriters given 1,000 years would reproduce the works of Shakespeare." Well, Empress Lanolin didn't have 1,000 years to wait, but neither did she need something as quality as the entire works of Shakespeare - pretty much any old rubbish would do. Purchasing 1000 monkeys and 1000 computers, and putting them all in a room with her editor - a Mosestarian, coincidentally - she started propagandising like the world had never seen. Admittedly, it was almost 99.999% rubbish, but when people get so used to believing that everything they read is rubbish, they forget that 0.001% is actually the truth. Empress Lanolin smiled to herself, as she polished her name-badge "Prusilla" with her longest, painted talon - those monkeys and Windows computers were reaping her a rich harvest of international ignorance.
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said Miss Hine