So, it's kind of funny. I mentioned the other day how i felt as if i wasn't progressing in most ways with my counseling because i get so sidetracked by things i need to discuss that happen each week. So i never get into deeper issues. Today that changed. And man was it uncomfortable.
As i mentioned, she's a Christian, and man did she show it today haha. She was quoting scripture and challenging my views on myself and how i perceive God. She made some observations i was rather surprised to hear about myself. And some i knew about, but didn't think were so obvious. She challenged me to answer questions calling out my double standards on how i view God sees me vs what i say to others. Things i'm well aware of, actually, but was surprised she picked up so easily. She hammered me with stuff. In a good way i guess.
I honestly was not able to make myself answer some things. To speak them. She had to eventually move to 'easier' subjects before going as deep as she did. Even then i was rather resistant. She told me i was very closed off. That i had walls up. Thick ones. I never saw myself that way.
It's funny, i've always saw myself as a pretty open person, for the most part. But a friend has recently told me that i never share much with her. She's mentioned it a few times. And then when i posted some things in this thread i've received a few comments on how i don't often open up here. And now this today with my counselor. It's a little confusing. But a lot about myself confuses me. I think i have a lot of myself figured out, since i'm pretty introspective, but this is a bit of an upheaval. But at the same time might explain some things i have wondered about. Possibly...