Spent the last 3-4 days with the thought of my ex cuddling up with another guy, her new bf. It comes to me at least once an hour whether or not i'm thinking of her. And that she's apparently not speaking to me only makes it worse. Or better that i don't have to hear it. I don't know. I just know it sucks either way.
Add to that that i also keep having really weird dreams which have vibes that stick with me for hours, or sometimes the whole day, at the same time.
I prayed for months that God would remove my feelings for her, He did the opposite over and over. I thought maybe i just need to show that i'm always there for her and it would mean something one day. Now we don't talk and i have to think about her with someone else and i see where i've done no good for her, or myself. In fact she's just as bad, maybe worse, than she was before we dated. Not that i think that's my fault, but still.
It took me 40 years to finally feel confident God was leading me in a direction. After this it'll probably be another 40 before i would take that risk again.
Yeah, everyone says 'well at least you grew/learned something/etc...' as if that's supposed to help. It doesn't help.