Some days really just stink. So, as most of you know (thanks Evie), my brother died. Well last night I came home to find that my cat of 15 years had died as well. And the reason, she was not locked up in my room like I thought, and the dog I recently adopted I guess discovered her while I was out, and well, accidentally killed her. Needless to say, I lost it at that point, not on the dog, but just could not stop crying for awhile, despite the fact that I was trying not to most of the day. At that point, I was really more or less hoping that it was because of a heart attack, because I didn't see blood or gory stuff, but just that he had licked her up and down. However, since I had to have her disposed of, and since my friend was taking Kramer for the night (she has a small child), I asked the ER doctor to find out if he had attacked her or if it had been more of a heart attack. And when she shaved my cat, she did find that there had been trauma. Not an aggressive type trauma, but more as if the dog had been playing with her. So, talking to my regular vet today, since I needed to find a place to keep him until I come back from the funeral, she said that chances are he is small animal/child agressive, and that she thinks it would be better for me to give him back, especially since we don't know his background history. So, the adoption agency is coming to pick him tomorrow. Just going to say it again, some days really STINK.
This breaks my heart. So sorry, viola.
I will be praying for you.
As an update to my last post, I recently got to talk with my best friend about her recent "falling-out" with the Lord. I mostly just listened, but I also shared a few of my personal experiences that were relevant to the topic. I think most of her and her husband's frustrations are with Christians, rather than Christ. So many years of being in a spiritually dead church will do that to you.
She doesn't see a point in going to church, or the necessity of fellowship with other believers. I realized she may not fully grasp what The Church really is. I'm finally realizing that this whole time, she's viewed "church" as a place you go and a set tradition of things you do.
Truthfully, I agreed with a lot of what she said, only because I know the church environment she came out of. Over the years I did try to encourage her to seek a different church, and she tried, but she kept drifting back to her old church because it was where her family was and that was her comfort zone.
I wrestled with all the things she told me, and then two days after we met I left with my friends to go to a Christian conference for college-aged young adults. Guess what the theme was for the whole weekend? "The Vision of The Church". The entire weekend, we studied what The Church really is, what it's intended to be, and what it means to be a member of the body. I know without a doubt that God planned this. I was brought to tears when I was given the packet with all the verses and topics we'd be covering over the weekend. A lot of it was stuff I already believed, but I felt like it equipped me to be able to better explain all the things I knew and loved about Christ's Church and it's purpose.
So right now, I'm excited to try and relate these things to my friend in the right way at the right time, but to be honest I'm also burdened and sad. I know this is very selfish of me, but I feel like I've lost a friend. I know that we still have tons of things in common and I'm not going to give up on our friendship, but if this period of time where she's not close to the Lord ends up being a long season (and it may be... she might need time to understand how much she needs Christ), then I know things are going to change. Loving the Lord (or not, in her case) is a HUGE thing to not have in common. When I'm in need of spiritual encouragement and prayer, I can't turn to her anymore. Again, I know this is selfish, because her relationship with Christ is so much more important, but I'm also sad because one of the main reasons I asked her to be my maid of honor is because at the time I was so confident that she would cloak me in prayer and would encourage me to keep my eyes on Christ as I get closer to beginning my marriage. I imagined her taking me aside minutes before I walk down the aisle and praying with me and for me, just as I did for her on her wedding day. Now it's possible that that won't happen. I feel like a horrible person for saying these things. It's so awful and selfish. I truly do care about her walk with the Lord and I have been praying for her every day since I found out what's going on. My greatest desire for her is that she comes to see Christ and the Church in a whole new way and that she would fall in love with the Lord all over again.
I touched on this last time, saying that I think God might be trying to teach me something. One thing I've learned is how important it is to be involved in a spiritually healthy church. I know that we are all responsible for nourishing our walks with the Lord as individuals, but the spiritual environment we place ourselves in can have a huge effect on our faith.