sorry to bother. i’m looking for a wifey 🙃

[EnglishChick]

Someone being broken or not is not the issue. It's what they choose to do. I am broken, yet Because of that o have had the opportunity to help others who were also broken.
I took the time to learn what was wrong with my and why. And I learned about others and their reasons. And because I understood I was able to help. While still not being "normal".
And it is other damaged people who have helped me. Rarely do "normal" people ever help because they are clueless to the struggles and often speak from a place of ignorance and with a lack of compassion.

Most counselors are people who were, and often are still, broken. They've simply managed to move to a healthier state of their brokeness.

This idea that "normal" people will raise up "broken" people is often false. Because such people rarely want to be with anyone broken because they tend to have a negative view of such people. And due to their inability to understand or relate they typically do a poor job in handling broken people in a healthy and fruitful manner.

Funny how in one post you're putting down "damaged goods", and even stating that "normal" people wouldn't want them. Then suddenly you change gears and now claim to be broken yourself and how broken people should seek out normal people.
Seems a rather extreme change. Motives questionable at best.

I never claimed to be normal and yes I was bisexual

I was trying to say that we need a partner who is able to be a mutual support because some people who need healing may treat their spouse like someone who is there to meet their needs. I realise I said it clumsily and I did apologise


I'm not lying about my issues I am seriously disabled and have been What your girlfriend has been through on top of that. Abuse of all kinds , addiction , mental ill ness. These things have a huge stigma so I'm hardly going to claim I have these when I don't ?

These are the issues no one wants to admit to having

 

[EnglishChick]

Someone being broken or not is not the issue. It's what they choose to do. I am broken, yet Because of that o have had the opportunity to help others who were also broken.
I took the time to learn what was wrong with my and why. And I learned about others and their reasons. And because I understood I was able to help. While still not being "normal".
And it is other damaged people who have helped me. Rarely do "normal" people ever help because they are clueless to the struggles and often speak from a place of ignorance and with a lack of compassion.

Most counselors are people who were, and often are still, broken. They've simply managed to move to a healthier state of their brokeness.

This idea that "normal" people will raise up "broken" people is often false. Because such people rarely want to be with anyone broken because they tend to have a negative view of such people. And due to their inability to understand or relate they typically do a poor job in handling broken people in a healthy and fruitful manner.

Funny how in one post you're putting down "damaged goods", and even stating that "normal" people wouldn't want them. Then suddenly you change gears and now claim to be broken yourself and how broken people should seek out normal people.
Seems a rather extreme change. Motives questionable at best.

I am a shy introvert very humble and I would find it intimidating if a man treated me like I'm meant to be his therapist

The op seems like someone who wants someone to meet his needs. That's all. I could be wrong. But I have met people like him who take take take and don't give so you must understand I have a few trust issuas

I do help people but in ways I can help them. One day !maybe I will be ready to support someone going through a tough time but right now I need to work on myself and making sure I get the healing I need.

You seem v similar to me in many ways let's put this behind us and star t again, ok?

 

[EnglishChick]

Didn't you just tell someone what sin a "real Christian" wouldn't do? Now you're here proclaiming to be a lesbian?
I wonder if someone used the "a real Christian wouldn't..." line on you how you'd respond. 🤔

Your girlfriend DOES.sound like me! I have been damaged in ways most propellant imagine but I have been through same as her!

I don't see why you are offended by me claiming to be in the same boat as your girlfriend

I self harm and binge and purge to cope with the pain I deal with

As a disabled Christian I have experienced huge hurt from normal people who haven't been through the hel l on earth I have lived

which is why if I was looking for a partner someone who doesn't have my baggage! Because I am fighting hard to stay alive as it is

fighting PTSD on a daily basis as.well as OC D and BPD, and physically disability and knowing God doesn't like me much...it's a huge thing to deal with you

I am a people pleased by nature and already feel guilty saying no to others, and I know God is angry with me for not helping others which is why I am not really bothering much...

My trauma therapist is a Christian and He says I need to put myself first.for a while until I'm better ....then worry about fixing others

so until then I am in relationships where I don't have to give much beyond a listening ear and prayer now and then

I am no more able.to work and i live in a supported living facility
the reason I don't like God much these days is because he expects me to fix others when I don't feel able to

I left my abusive father (almost killed sister with a knife so don't feel safe with him as well as years of physical and mental and abuse and Christians have told me that because he is bipolar and his abuse isn't his fault I have to help him!

I think he should.see a doctor but his culture has an outdated view of mental health.

I'm sorry my comments upset you but they were not in reference to you.or your girlfriend

I am one of the lowly people in life I am not neurotypical, and have always get like an outcast.

I just don't have the energy.for this

A m sorry you and your girlfriend have had a tough time of things please know God values you and I am hoping you find people in life who will give you the love you deserve


btw I never mentioned sexuality in this thread. I don't have relation ship with anyone sexually as I have been sexually abuse by grandfather and can't stomach a physical relationship. Marriage is not an option for me either. I don't think sexuality is relevant to this discussion really so why you had to bring it up

 

[EnglishChick]

Someone being broken or not is not the issue. It's what they choose to do. I am broken, yet Because of that o have had the opportunity to help others who were also broken.
I took the time to learn what was wrong with my and why. And I learned about others and their reasons. And because I understood I was able to help. While still not being "normal".
And it is other damaged people who have helped me. Rarely do "normal" people ever help because they are clueless to the struggles and often speak from a place of ignorance and with a lack of compassion.

Most counselors are people who were, and often are still, broken. They've simply managed to move to a healthier state of their brokeness.

This idea that "normal" people will raise up "broken" people is often false. Because such people rarely want to be with anyone broken because they tend to have a negative view of such people. And due to their inability to understand or relate they typically do a poor job in handling broken people in a healthy and fruitful manner.

Funny how in one post you're putting down "damaged goods", and even stating that "normal" people wouldn't want them. Then suddenly you change gears and now claim to be broken yourself and how broken people should seek out normal people.
Seems a rather extreme change. Motives questionable at best.

I have no doubt most of us have been broken by life so we can learn to handle each other in a healthy manner eventually but it takes time.

I don't need any more condemnation.I already have a low view of myself . I feel engulfed by other people like I have no real sense of self of my own and find people frightening in real life. Extroverted people sometimes think am cold because I withdraw from others but I just don't "need" romantic love or much time with others so I find people like the OP a bit frightening

 

[EnglishChick]

All I said is your girlfriend does sound like me. Humble, damaged, easily hurt by others.

I didn't mean that to offend and am sorry it did

leaving this discussion now as I don't think am strong enough to be around other Christians at the moment. The flashbacks have been bad lately. The father who abused me was a Christian minister who used the bible to do what he did because he believed women were his property. Think Quiverfull movement type upbringing

I still have a vague interest.I'm Christianity still because I came on this forum but I don't feel my faith is working anymore

I don't intend to give up believing in Jesus and his complete sacrifice for sin etc. I guess am still technically a Christian but don't live as one

I listen to rock music still
I don't tithe
I don't help the poor
I don't evangelize
I don't read my bible much
I self injure
I am not always kind an polite

I can't do anything for God anymore because of my disabilities and relative poverty so I'm not able to be much use to God

Maybe one day.But until I can start.serving God it's best I stop trying to live as a Christian when I don't

I believe my place.is heaven was assigned to me but I certainly am not living as a believer while on earth

I mean I technically don't believe in abortion but I have had the vaccine which has bits of aborted fetal tissue in it. I know that was wrong but I can't change it

I believe salvation is for all who believe and yes that includes me but not all whoa 're saved are living life that pleases God.

so am not kidding myself God is please with my life. He loves everyone and delights in His people zeph 3:17 but that doesn't mean He is pleased with my life and that my.reward in heaven will be big

 

[EnglishChick]

here’s my bio...

“I’m British but raised in India. Baptist christian since 2018. I’m ex-Muslim (the rest of my family is Muslim). I believe in Libertarianism but usually vote Conservative. Also you better be talkative cuz I barely talk. I’m a homebody and I appreciate intellect. I think contraception and abortion are sins. Looking for a pretty white girl to make lots of British Indian babies with.”

social media @zubairskazi

Hey, am feeling a bit bad that I have been a bit harsh on you implying you're a troll etc. I f am.wrong then im.sorry. Actually even if am right, am sorry because it isn't my place to be so harsh and judgemental. I am in England too, and it is hard to meet people but lockdown will hopefully end in June and maybe it will be easier for you to find someone

@Subhumanoidal I am sorry about the comment I made about damaged goods. It was badly written and judgemental and am sorry. For what it's worth you sound lovely.and I hope we can maybe be friend s on here? If not, no worries. You do seem someone who is very real and I bet we could relate a lot to each other's experiences .

I wish you well in life. I really.Am telling the truth about the things I've been through, but these things aren't your problem and am sorry for burdening you with all my pain.

God bless

 

[GiveThanks]

I wasn't aware that I had been unkind to anyone on here?

No i wasnt specifically saying you are unkind. I meant that in a general way.

Anyway this thread has gotten quite confusing. What were we talking about again? I dont remember🤷🏾‍♀️

 

[EnglishChick]

No i wasnt specifically saying you are unkind. I meant that in a general way.

Anyway this thread has gotten quite confusing. What were we talking about again? I dont remember🤷🏾‍♀️

you know, neither do i!

poor OP. Hope they do manage to find the lady of their dreams. .I do think if we pray to God He will let us know if he had someone for us and will make sure it happens . Nothing wrong with being proactive though!

also I feel maybe I have allowed my own prejudices against online dating to colour my responses. My bad. 😕

 

[GiveThanks]

also I feel maybe I have allowed my own prejudices against online dating to colour my responses. My bad. 😕

Aside from what you said about online dating, I think what you were trying to say is that, you see yourself as damaged goods, and you dont think anyone wants you?

I hope you will move on from that thinking. Not everyone has a lovely past, but you can move past your past. Thats the great news. Although some people will still judge you for it, but you cant focus on them, just keep improving yourself and moving forward.

 

[EnglishChick]

Aside from what you said about online dating, I think what you were trying to say is that, you see yourself as damaged goods, and you dont think anyone wants you?

I hope you will move on from that thinking. Not everyone has a lovely past, but you can move past your past. Thats the great news. Although some people will still judge you for it, but you cant focus on them, just keep improving yourself and moving forward.

what I was trying to say (and am gonna @ @Subhumanoidal here because theyn deserve.an explanation) is because I am damaged goods I would worry that by dating I would attrac t someone also damaged and I would be useless to them. I tend to attract men who are very needy and want me to complete them. If I say no to them or set boundaries with my time they get angry and sometimes start getting nasty. I grew up with narcissistic parent so I think I have an invisible sign on my back saying "people pleaser " and they take advantage of that


so it's not that I look down on them but that I could not ever be enough for someone like that...I have to learn to take.care of myself first because until I learn to become healthy person myself I won't cope.

 

[EnglishChick]

I expect I need to be less sensitive and grow a thicker skin . I know I worry too much about what other people.think of me which is v prideful and self.serving

 

[cinder]

what I was trying to say (and am gonna @ @Subhumanoidal here because theyn deserve.an explanation) is because I am damaged goods I would worry that by dating I would attrac t someone also damaged and I would be useless to them. I tend to attract men who are very needy and want me to complete them. If I say no to them or set boundaries with my time they get angry and sometimes start getting nasty. I grew up with narcissistic parent so I think I have an invisible sign on my back saying "people pleaser " and they take advantage of that


so it's not that I look down on them but that I could not ever be enough for someone like that...I have to learn to take.care of myself first because until I learn to become healthy person myself I won't cope.

Sounds more like you tend to wind up with demanding and abusive people and you're getting wise enough to just say no to that before they ever ask you out. Recognize that as growth and wisdom not as being to damaged to help someone out (who probably doesn't want that kind of help to begin with and so can't be helped).