Seeking Advice From Older Christians (of All Ages) -- on How to Not Get Old.

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Gideon300

Well-known member
Mar 18, 2021
5,296
3,122
113
#81
Wait, what? He died young?

Well I guess when the Bible talks about when Solomon was old (I Kings 11:4) "old" could be relative... Compared to Adam or Noah or Methusaleh he was a young buck when he died. =^.^=

But compared to most of us... Well, when the Bible says he got old, he done got old.
He was about 60 when he died, not even as old as his father. God's minimum is 70 years, if people walk in His ways. Sure, what he wrote is in the Bible for the best of reasons. It is also a salutary lesson in the need to obey God - if we want God's best.
 

Gideon300

Well-known member
Mar 18, 2021
5,296
3,122
113
#82
how old was Solomon Id like to know
I figured if he was 10 when he became king and reigned for 40 years he would have died when he was around 50.
Sources vary in estimates. I've read 52, 60 and even 80 years. The older age seems highly unlikely. It would mean that Solomon was 40 when he became king. It does not fit the narrative.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#83
Jewish sources say he was 12 when anointed/crowned so he would have been 52.

Remember both boys and girls go through puberty and can have children from age 12.
13 is the age of adult when boys have their bar mitsvah and are seen as (young) men

Its only recent times that we had the teenagers in schools for longer though. Mary was probably at most 16 when she had Jesus.

One way to keep young is to not have children lol
Some parents especially mothers that had too many children seem old before their time, especially if they dont have much support.

Bible even says you will have trouble in the flesh. i. e children. But on the upside, you'll be saved in childbearing. God wont kill you cos you have to look after a child..
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,183
9,265
113
#84
He was about 60 when he died, not even as old as his father. God's minimum is 70 years, if people walk in His ways. Sure, what he wrote is in the Bible for the best of reasons. It is also a salutary lesson in the need to obey God - if we want God's best.
God's minimum age?

Yeah the Bible says God set that age, but nobody is guaranteed a certain age (except Hezekiah of course.) You can find a LOT of people in the Bible who never reached 70.
 

selahsays

Well-known member
May 31, 2023
2,796
1,484
113
#85
Hey Everyone,

First of all, everyone is welcome to post and "older" is a very relative term. To a 20-year-old, 30 is older; to a 40-year-old, 60 is older; and to the 95-year-olds, I knew someone who trumped them all and lived into the triple digits. So for this discussion, "older" basically means an age or stage in life that one has not yet personally reached.

I had a Grandma who, after going through her list of health problems every time I visited, would always advise me, "Don't ever get old, Seoulsearch (she would use my full name) -- it's terrible."

On the other end of the spectrum, I had another grandparent who always seemed playful and curious, who never struck me as old until the very end, when physical and mental limitations were really starting to show.

Several years ago, I went to visit a friend I've known since we were 5, and we were complaining about basically turning into old ladies. Her son, who was about 13 at the time, really surprised me when he said, "You're not old, Aunt Seoul. You still jump on the trampoline with us, you still go out and do things -- that's not being old." Contrast this with another friend's child, about 17, who insisted, "Don't leave me here with all these old people!" (referring to me and the other adults in the room.)

I have always strived to be like my grandparent whom I saw as eternally young -- and I've come to realize that my own definition of "not being old" means to always try to be willing to try to explore, learn about, or try new things, and find ways to work through problems rather than complaining. But like anyone else, I know time is wearing me down. Ten years ago I took a day trip in which I got up at about 4 in the morning, walked all day, only stopping to eat, and didn't get home until about 2 in the morning.

Last year I took a similar day trip and found I had to take about a 3-hour break in the middle of the day, and I had to head for home much sooner, around 8 PM. Now I certainly don't have this kind of ambition all the time (only for vacations once or twice a year,) but my Grandma's words were ringing in my head, because I was starting to think of how much more comfortable it would be to have just stayed home.

When I was younger, I was all about going to new places and exploring. These days, I'm finding it too much of a hassle due to airline catastrophes, highway traffic I find more and more intimidating, expenses that could be put into savings instead, and, as it has been for a good portion of my life, the challenge of traveling alone (concerns with safety.)

More and more, I keep thinking, it's not worth the cost, trouble, and worry, and that I should just stay home. I don't have the energy levels I once did that canceled out all the noise and uncertainty.

By my own definition I am getting old (losing my curiosity, sense of adventure, and willingness to try.) And I really don't want to if I can change it, because I'd like to try. But I'm also trying to navigate this stage in life the best I can, according to God's direction.

What about all of you?

* How do you define "Getting Old," and is it something you're trying to avoid or delay? How so? Or do you embrace the idea wholeheartedly, and why?

* When you do find yourself "Getting Old" according to your own definition, how do you react? Do you panic and ask God to change things back? Or are you able to accept aging with grace and gratitude?

* What are your best tips for staying healthy and living a good life at any age?

I don't want to be someone who is fighting God over the natural progression of life, but I also don't want to be someone who neglects their health or automatically gives up in (sometimes more imagined than realistic) defeat.

I'm looking forward to hearing people's thoughts and experiences with this! :)
My thoughts on this question of getting old and how to stay young are pretty simple: All the days of your life, stay very close to the good Lord above. IMG_5212.gif
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,183
9,265
113
#86
I hate getting old. Hate hate hate. Oh, did I fail to mention that I HATE it?!?

But, unlike some Christians, I don't think we're supposed to be cheerful about it. It's part of the curse. We were never designed to decay and slowly die over time this way, and I refuse to say there's anything good in that.
That is a cogent point, and one I think about often at funerals.

We accept that death is a part of life as we know it. We try to rationalize it as the circle of life, and some religions even try to believe we will come back later in another form. But getting old and dying is NOT part of what God designed.

I'm gonna try my best to not get old and bitter about getting old, because there's no profit in that. But there's no profit in pretending it's normal and right and good either. Cause it ain't. God never intended for His creation to get old and die.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#87
Ecclesiastes seems like a book written by a grumpy old man lol
All is vanity...

Staying home has its appeals. I've been watching Anthony Bourdain travel around the world, hes been to so many countries, but what you dont see is his whole crew travelling with him as they film.

He only rose to fame after he got older(he was around 40) not in his youth. However whats very sad is that travelling wore him out and also took a huge toll on his marriage(s). It is wonderful to see the world through a cooks eyes and experience different cultures and be hosted and wined and dined but I imagine that all his friendships he made would have been fleeting cos hed be off again the next day.

It was interesting that he did meet another inveterate traveller Paul Theroux on his visit to Hawaii. I always wondered when reading his books well what about your wife doesnt she ever get to travel with you??
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,049
3,154
113
#88
I used to be a cashier at a big chain bookstore. Once a week we had senior discount day, and we're supposed to ask anyone who looked old enough, if they qualified. I remember some seniors seemed to take offense at being asked, despite clearly being old enough. It would anger them that you reminded them they were older, it seemed.
And some seniors would plop their books down and with a big smile say they wanted their senior discount. And talk about how they loved being older (many would actually say 'I-m X many years young'). And they'd walk out happy as a bird, enjoying their senior age.
Oddly the majority of those that complained were men, and an even higher majority that celebrated their age were also men. The women seemed more indifferent.
 

Eli1

Well-known member
Apr 5, 2022
4,621
1,953
113
46
#89
I used to be a cashier at a big chain bookstore. Once a week we had senior discount day, and we're supposed to ask anyone who looked old enough, if they qualified. I remember some seniors seemed to take offense at being asked, despite clearly being old enough. It would anger them that you reminded them they were older, it seemed.
And some seniors would plop their books down and with a big smile say they wanted their senior discount. And talk about how they loved being older (many would actually say 'I-m X many years young'). And they'd walk out happy as a bird, enjoying their senior age.
Oddly the majority of those that complained were men, and an even higher majority that celebrated their age were also men. The women seemed more indifferent.
This is funny. Because i come from a culture where you don't get carded for drinks, when i got to my late 30s i was upset at the waiting stuff for carding me.
I told them "I'm a world war 2 veteran. Can't you see?".
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,049
3,154
113
#90
This is funny. Because i come from a culture where you don't get carded for drinks, when i got to my late 30s i was upset at the waiting stuff for carding me.
I told them "I'm a world war 2 veteran. Can't you see?".
I get that. When I was 21 I started a job at a liquor store (despite not being a drinker, or having ever touched a sip even), and carding people was so tricky. We had to card anyone who looked in their 30s or younger. Some people took such offense at this. Of course it didn't thrill us workers to have to ask people, either.
Same with when I worked in a Walmart in the cigarette lane, having to guess ages for IDing. Quite unnerving since you never know how people will respond. Or people who didn't bring their IDs wanting us to overlook carding them.
Even doing the senior discounts at the bookstore. There was no carding, but we had to guess who was old enough looking. Sometimes we'd guess wrong and offer it to someone and that wouldn't go over well.

I remember once being offered a senior discount at a restaurant. I was around 42 and the cut off was 55. It really bugged me and I let the cashier know. Ironically on another visit the same person offered it to me again just 2 weeks later. 🤬 she never asked again after that 😂
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,183
9,265
113
#91
Even doing the senior discounts at the bookstore. There was no carding, but we had to guess who was old enough looking. Sometimes we'd guess wrong and offer it to someone and that wouldn't go over well.

I remember once being offered a senior discount at a restaurant. I was around 42 and the cut off was 55. It really bugged me and I let the cashier know. Ironically on another visit the same person offered it to me again just 2 weeks later. 🤬 she never asked again after that 😂
Was there a rule that you HAD to ask them about the senior discount if you had reason to believe they were eligible for it?

Otherwise I'd just not ask. If they are old enough and want the discount, they'll ask I guess.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#92
Do they have the RSA in the US?

The RSA are trying to attract younger people now who were not around during world war 2 . Though in NZ it seems they would not accept anyone who'd been in the Vietnam war.

I always thought they would do the ode at 6oclock but at some RSAs they dont so, those soldiers who gave their lives are now quietly forgotten. I know a lot of elders from church, retirement villages, and teachers and they frequently invite me to the RSA. It has cheap meals, though it depends on each indivudual RSA how its run.

RSA stands for Returned Services Association in case you are wondering. Everyone whos retired gets discounts etc. Theres a thing called a Gold Card here and you get free public transport if you over 65 and other discounts. So theres benefits to getting old, and older people have their own groups like Grey Power and social things like 3UA and Probus etc. Actually the social networks for older retired people seem a lot better than whats avialable for working people. If you working you spend all your working hours at work and have little time for social life except in evenings or on weekends when you exhausted.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
59,813
29,191
113
#93
I had a snarky reply all ready to go until I saw that Seoulsearch had started the thread. I have far too much respect for her to throw snark at her.

However, for chuckles only (no, I’m not a psychopath), the best way to avoid growing old is to die young. 🥸🫣😜
Only the good die young! There are none worthy .:unsure::cool:;):whistle::giggle:

With apologies to all who have lost loved ones far too early .:cry::cry:
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,049
3,154
113
#94
Was there a rule that you HAD to ask them about the senior discount if you had reason to believe they were eligible for it?

Otherwise I'd just not ask. If they are old enough and want the discount, they'll ask I guess.
Yes, they pushed us to offer it to people we thought could be eligible and promote it as a weekly event to attempt to keep them coming back every week.
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,643
4,304
113
#95
Hey Everyone,

First of all, everyone is welcome to post and "older" is a very relative term. To a 20-year-old, 30 is older; to a 40-year-old, 60 is older; and to the 95-year-olds, I knew someone who trumped them all and lived into the triple digits. So for this discussion, "older" basically means an age or stage in life that one has not yet personally reached.

I had a Grandma who, after going through her list of health problems every time I visited, would always advise me, "Don't ever get old, Seoulsearch (she would use my full name) -- it's terrible."

On the other end of the spectrum, I had another grandparent who always seemed playful and curious, who never struck me as old until the very end, when physical and mental limitations were really starting to show.

Several years ago, I went to visit a friend I've known since we were 5, and we were complaining about basically turning into old ladies. Her son, who was about 13 at the time, really surprised me when he said, "You're not old, Aunt Seoul. You still jump on the trampoline with us, you still go out and do things -- that's not being old." Contrast this with another friend's child, about 17, who insisted, "Don't leave me here with all these old people!" (referring to me and the other adults in the room.)

I have always strived to be like my grandparent whom I saw as eternally young -- and I've come to realize that my own definition of "not being old" means to always try to be willing to try to explore, learn about, or try new things, and find ways to work through problems rather than complaining. But like anyone else, I know time is wearing me down. Ten years ago I took a day trip in which I got up at about 4 in the morning, walked all day, only stopping to eat, and didn't get home until about 2 in the morning.

Last year I took a similar day trip and found I had to take about a 3-hour break in the middle of the day, and I had to head for home much sooner, around 8 PM. Now I certainly don't have this kind of ambition all the time (only for vacations once or twice a year,) but my Grandma's words were ringing in my head, because I was starting to think of how much more comfortable it would be to have just stayed home.

When I was younger, I was all about going to new places and exploring. These days, I'm finding it too much of a hassle due to airline catastrophes, highway traffic I find more and more intimidating, expenses that could be put into savings instead, and, as it has been for a good portion of my life, the challenge of traveling alone (concerns with safety.)

More and more, I keep thinking, it's not worth the cost, trouble, and worry, and that I should just stay home. I don't have the energy levels I once did that canceled out all the noise and uncertainty.

By my own definition I am getting old (losing my curiosity, sense of adventure, and willingness to try.) And I really don't want to if I can change it, because I'd like to try. But I'm also trying to navigate this stage in life the best I can, according to God's direction.

What about all of you?

* How do you define "Getting Old," and is it something you're trying to avoid or delay? How so? Or do you embrace the idea wholeheartedly, and why?

* When you do find yourself "Getting Old" according to your own definition, how do you react? Do you panic and ask God to change things back? Or are you able to accept aging with grace and gratitude?

* What are your best tips for staying healthy and living a good life at any age?

I don't want to be someone who is fighting God over the natural progression of life, but I also don't want to be someone who neglects their health or automatically gives up in (sometimes more imagined than realistic) defeat.

I'm looking forward to hearing people's thoughts and experiences with this! :)
I just realized this thread is about how not to get old, not 'how it feels to get old'.

I think the there are two keys to staying youthful:

One is moderation. Exercise in moderation, eat your favorite foods in moderation, moderation is like having balance in life.

The second one is staying active. Mentally, physically and socially. Keep your mind stimulated. Never stop learning. Keep your body moving. Stay connected with friends and family.
 

Genipher

Well-known member
Jan 6, 2019
2,278
1,679
113
#96
Jewish sources say he was 12 when anointed/crowned so he would have been 52.

Remember both boys and girls go through puberty and can have children from age 12.
13 is the age of adult when boys have their bar mitsvah and are seen as (young) men

Its only recent times that we had the teenagers in schools for longer though. Mary was probably at most 16 when she had Jesus.

One way to keep young is to not have children lol
Some parents especially mothers that had too many children seem old before their time, especially if they dont have much support.

Bible even says you will have trouble in the flesh. i. e children. But on the upside, you'll be saved in childbearing. God wont kill you cos you have to look after a child..
Funny. I have 9 kids and am often confused in public as my eldest daughter's sister. I don't feel young but I guess I look it.

I also know several moms with lots of kids and they all look and act young. Not worn out or old before their time. I would argue kids keep us youthful. For working with kids, you seem to have a pretty negative opinion of them and motherhood. Can I ask why you're always so down on marriage, men, and mothers?

Interesting how you equate "trouble in the flesh" as children. Reading the whole chapter and more specifically,
the verse in context, it is speaking of sex in marriage, fornication, sexual temptation, and marrying vs not marrying. Nothing about children is mentioned in that chapter:

"But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you. -- 1 Corinthians 7:28

And plenty of mothers die during labor or before the child is grown. Having a child doesn't mean we're immune to or saved from death. Unless I'm misunderstanding your point, here?
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#97
Funny. I have 9 kids and am often confused in public as my eldest daughter's sister. I don't feel young but I guess I look it.

I also know several moms with lots of kids and they all look and act young. Not worn out or old before their time. I would argue kids keep us youthful. For working with kids, you seem to have a pretty negative opinion of them and motherhood. Can I ask why you're always so down on marriage, men, and mothers?

Interesting how you equate "trouble in the flesh" as children. Reading the whole chapter and more specifically,
the verse in context, it is speaking of sex in marriage, fornication, sexual temptation, and marrying vs not marrying. Nothing about children is mentioned in that chapter:

"But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you. -- 1 Corinthians 7:28

And plenty of mothers die during labor or before the child is grown. Having a child doesn't mean we're immune to or saved from death. Unless I'm misunderstanding your point, here?
well sex does lead to children eventually, unless you not connecting the dots?
It seems some mothers have abortions because it might kill them to have a child they are told
Its not a sense of looking young just that mothers will have to deal with children esp when they grow older. if its just talking about sex I suppose it is trouble in the flesh? Note that its not the MAN that will have trouble in the flesh but the woman lol

Children ARE mentioned in the chapter at verse 14

so maybe you need to read the whole thing again. lol

kids are different from lambs, kids are a handful, lambs follow Jesus. A lot of mothers treat their children as kids not lambs. Not that you cant love kids but they have quite different needs to lambs. Almost all mothers these days refer to their offspring as kids even Christian ones, which I find a bit strange.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#98
I am not down on marriage or men or mothers, or kids whatver gave you that idea?

Working with children from broken homes can be a challenge though
I think the hardest is single parent families esp when the dad has left (or died) . Those who marry need to commit to stay together if they can even if one spouse is unbelieving, though its best if both spouses actually believe.

Unequally yoked marriages can be confusing for the offspring.

Anyway this is not to do with topic of thread, maybe after menopause or whatever its not as challenging to be married in verse 36

Because there is no 'trouble in the flesh?😙