Politely saying 'no'

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,221
4,283
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#21
No, but heard the Book of Mormon got turned into a Broadway musical

I guess they have a fantasy just like in Aladdin where he rides on a flying carpet with Princess Jasmine.
The opening of the cartoon looks like that too. 😄

Maybe it'll turn into a murder mystery series like Scooby Doo. Five Mormons and their dog live in a van down by the river.
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,221
4,283
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#22
On a more serious note, there's a lot of difference between a stalker and someone who is simply being persistent about their interest in you, like the article was about. The article was pretty good about dealing with boundaries and such. There were good points to consider.

I think that it's important to learn the difference as well as the justification for the force continuum. I've heard too many well meaning people go way overboard on the issue. On the other extreme, I've advised those who were on jeapardy of life, who received threats from, let's just say, powerful people of means and motives. Proper evaluation, distinction and the proper training for appropriate defensive measures are key.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#23
On a more serious note, there's a lot of difference between a stalker and someone who is simply being persistent about their interest in you, like the article was about. The article was pretty good about dealing with boundaries and such. There were good points to consider.

I think that it's important to learn the difference as well as the justification for the force continuum. I've heard too many well meaning people go way overboard on the issue. On the other extreme, I've advised those who were on jeapardy of life, who received threats from, let's just say, powerful people of means and motives. Proper evaluation, distinction and the proper training for appropriate defensive measures are key.
Really do you speak from experience it can often feel like the same thing esp if the stalker thinks hes prince charming or whatever

most females have some kind of self defence training or awareness of not to get into dangerous situations but it can be less obvious under the guise of courtship. I thinknthe article was quite balanced in giving advice so that you dont have to resort to calling the police (who may not help you anyway)
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#24
I think it was a young student called Sophie who got sucked into dating one of her professors at university, when she wanted to end the relationship thats when it turned ugly and her so called boyfriend killed her.

And this happens A LOT in nz. Even if you are not married, men seem to think they own you if you going with them and that if you not into them they will hound and harass you until you give in, and bash you and kill you if you try to leave them.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#25
anyway..not mean to say there arent any respectful christian gentlemen around but just sayin'

thats the reality if you ever get involved with someone, they wont always have your best interest at heart. Many are just after their own interests.
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,221
4,283
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#27
Really do you speak from experience it can often feel like the same thing esp if the stalker thinks hes prince charming or whatever

most females have some kind of self defence training or awareness of not to get into dangerous situations but it can be less obvious under the guise of courtship. I thinknthe article was quite balanced in giving advice so that you dont have to resort to calling the police (who may not help you anyway)
I have no argument with that. I think many can empower themselves by educating themselves on the subject to a degree in which is truly practical. There's way too much disinformation floating around as fact. Women are taught everything from one extreme in places like France, to adore the growing gangs of Muslim men. They are known for gang rape of random women walking down the street. Yet you'll see politically correct gullibles walking up to them with flowers in hand.

On the other extreme, I used to know of a popular pastor who recommended lethal force if a woman's date goes to kiss her.

Most however are confused where the distinctions lie in-between.
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,221
4,283
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#28
I think it was a young student called Sophie who got sucked into dating one of her professors at university, when she wanted to end the relationship thats when it turned ugly and her so called boyfriend killed her.

And this happens A LOT in nz. Even if you are not married, men seem to think they own you if you going with them and that if you not into them they will hound and harass you until you give in, and bash you and kill you if you try to leave them.
Some women in America are like that.
The insecurities of men breaking up with them makes them feel justified to attempt the same.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#29
it was interesting that the article was saying at the end 'its not just low socio economic people that suffer violence' lol as if poor people are just always violent with each other and nobody bats an eye cos thats just poor people sorting out their differences....!

anyway just cos a guy seems rich and educated doesnt mean anything in terms of how he treats a female. and what do young women really know anyway when they are being courted and asked out all the time? You cant always constantly put males to the test to try and figure out if hes any good then put yourself in danger alone with a guy on a date. He might take you for a ride to somewhere unknown where you cant even get home.

actually that is a common ruse that men do. Get the girl alone. No witnesses.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#30
Some women in America are like that.
The insecurities of men breaking up with them makes them feel justified to attempt the same.
women do that in america, like give an example its often men that do it here

women here dont usally kill their exes they just stay away from them or get restraining orders. Who hs got the time or energy to go after someone clearly not interested in you?
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,221
4,283
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#31
women do that in america, like give an example its often men that do it here

women here dont usally kill their exes they just stay away from them or get restraining orders. Who hs got the time or energy to go after someone clearly not interested in you?
Men and women here don't usually kill their ex's either. Some do, but the point is that stalking and murder happens with both sexes. There are more examples than I have time to share. I kept track of violent crime from media / police reports to teach my class ways to avoid the most common crimes and defend against them.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#32
Men and women here don't usually kill their ex's either. Some do, but the point is that stalking and murder happens with both sexes. There are more examples than I have time to share. I kept track of violent crime from media / police reports to teach my class ways to avoid the most common crimes and defend against them.
here we have anonymous womens refuges but the only mens refuges we have are jails.
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,221
4,283
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#33
here we have anonymous womens refuges but the only mens refuges we have are jails.
Most men that experience what they call, domestic abuse, or assault and battery go unreported. The states have support shelters, etc for women. I sympathize with anyone who's been harmed.
 
Mar 4, 2020
8,614
3,691
113
#34

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#35
flattery gets people in or hooked
But its not the way to show genuine love.

also obssesion or fanatiscism is not love

Love is patient, love is kind...but someone who is harassing someone else is NOT patient nor are they being kind to the object of their affections...
 

MsMediator

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2022
1,078
720
113
#36
I think it is possible to make it clear you are not interested without saying it, such as avoiding the person. I make it clear I am not interested that way even before they have a chance to be more interested. I think this is the nicer way than flat out saying "no", but I understand being totally clear is necessary sometimes.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#37
lots of people dont go to church so as to avoid being preyed on by wolves.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#38
I sometimes wonder what would make someone a gang moll
I mean obviously why would you WANT to be raped

but I figured they were somehow sucked in cos a gangster was nice to them at some point then seduced them or bribed them with bling or whatever.

Also they may have not known that the guy was a gangster and just thought those tatts were a cool decoration....
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,183
9,264
113
#39
I sometimes wonder what would make someone a gang moll
I mean obviously why would you WANT to be raped

but I figured they were somehow sucked in cos a gangster was nice to them at some point then seduced them or bribed them with bling or whatever.

Also they may have not known that the guy was a gangster and just thought those tatts were a cool decoration....
Hmm... Should I tell her?

Nah. Let Streets of Rage explain it. =^.^=

By the way sweetheart, what kind of dame uses an old term like moll? :p
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#40
dont tell me Lynx as you seem to think you know EVERYTHING.

but of course you dont.