You really want to get me started on bar jokes?
A guy walks into a bar with an ostrich and says, "Hey barkeep, I'll have a couple beers." The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Both the man and the bird enjoy their beers, the man reaches in his pocket without even looking and pulls out exact change for the four beers and they leave.
Next day the man and bird both come back in. "I'll have a couple beers and gimme a roast beef sandwich too" says the man. "Sounds good. I'll have exactly that" says the ostrich. They both eat and drink and the man reaches in his pocket without looking again and pulls out exact change.
The bartender said, "Okay buddy, I'll bite. What's up with the bird and exact change?"
"Well it's the funniest thing" said the man. "I was on the beach one time and found a coke bottle. I brushed the sand off it and a genie popped out. Guess they gotta keep up with the times too. Ain't many people making those lamps any more. Anyway the genie gave me two wishes. For my first wish I wished that I could always reach in my pocket and pull out exactly as much money as I needed for whatever I was buying."
"Hey that's smart!" said the bartender. "If you asked for a specific sum of money you could spend it all, and even if you saved it the economy might tank and make it worthless. But this way you never have to worry about it."
"Yup" said the man. "Whether it's a candy bar or a new car, I always just reach in my pocket and pull out exactly enough."
"Okay, so what's up with the ostrich?" said the bartender.
"Well, that one wasn't so smart. I wished for a chick with long legs who would agree with everything I said."
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