Intermediate passive aggression

[Lanolin]

am wondering what people prefer

passive aggression or active aggression

or just being ignored/left alone

I'd think the latter is preferable, but only cos I cant deal with that much noise and trying to figure out who said what

when Jesus was mocked and run out of town he just dealt with it by not answering back, walking away although at one point he did rebuke pharisees and lawyers calling them white washed tombs and broods of vipers

though thats not meant to be a compliment, though some people actually pride themselves on being good looking dead snakes

and besides, the word christian was actually meant to be an insult by unbelievers like they would say ugh hes so CHRISTIAN.

Bible says to count it all joy when you fall into trials

so I supoose if anyone tries to insult us with a backhanded compliment just say why thanks thats so kind of you to say as you know they only saying it cos they are jealous/envious!

 

[JAPOV]

when Jesus was mocked and run out of town he just dealt with it by not answering back, walking away although at one point he did rebuke pharisees and lawyers calling them white washed tombs and broods of vipers

Jesus actually said and did worse, but He was perfectly justified...

I think "aggression" is a poor choice of words... It's possible to control your "knee-jerk" reactions and have a "blunt" conversation with someone without being aggressive... However, just disagreeing with some people is considered an insult...

 

[Lanolin]

Jesus actually said and did worse, but He was perfectly justified...

I think "aggression" is a poor choice of words... It's possible to control your "knee-jerk" reactions and have a "blunt" conversation with someone without being aggressive... However, just disagreeing with some people is considered an insult...

i dont think a backhanded compliment is a knee-jerk reaction though

the person doing the backhanded compliment is not actually reacting to anything you said. They just kinda insulting you by stealth.
and they are not disagreeing with you either. It is not a conversation. They are judging you as inferior to them and saying it so you can hear it.

 

[JAPOV]

i dont think a backhanded compliment is a knee-jerk reaction though

the person doing the backhanded compliment is not actually reacting to anything you said. They just kinda insulting you by stealth.
and they are not disagreeing with you either. It is not a conversation. They are judging you as inferior to them and saying it so you can hear it.

Hmmmmm... Generally speaking, I get through my day without saying much. I certainly don't volunteer backhanded compliments... unless provoked.

 

[Hazelelponi]

Lets talk about backhanded compliments..

You know , A backhanded compliment is a compliment that you give to a friend, a colleague, anyone really, and it is not a compliment at all. It is laced with insult, sometimes disguised so well as a compliment that you do not even realize it was there in the first place......

I remember a lady at a Church I use to attend told me " I love your shirt...its so..boho" in the next breath she said "I could never pull off that slouchy boho look"

Same lady once told me "I love your hair, It reminds me of Sister __________." 10 minutes later in the church bathroom mirror shes fussing with her own hair and says " UGH... MY HAIR LOOKS SO BAD.... IT LOOKS JUST LIKE SISTER _________S HAIR !"
She named the same lady she used as a compliment to me, as an insult to herself.


A young lady told me " I dont care what they all say about you, I think you're beautiful!"

Sounds nice , but who are they and what the heck are they saying about me ??? Lol

" You have such a cute face for a chubby girl"

"If you lost weight , you'd be a knockout"

I have quite a few...

How about you ??? Has anyone ever paid you a backhanded compliment ?

NOTE : THIS THREAD WAS NOT CREATED TO FISH FOR COMPLIMENTS, I hope it doesnt come across that way.

I don't think I've ever been paid a backhanded compliment much in my life, but I've been blessed with what is seen in our modern day with beauty.

I think my biggest problem is not knowing how to deal with real compliments much... Those are the hardest ones to deal with.

I don't normally run around wearing makeup.. it's not great for the skin anyway so for me make-up is special occasion or work only.

So at any rate I was catching the bus one day and a woman was waiting with me at the stop and we were talking. She was complaining about her makeup and I told her she shouldn't bother wearing it (good advice I thought at the time) she looked me dead in the eye, to my shock, and said she wasn't beautiful like I was and for her makeup was a necessity.

What on earth is anyone supposed to say to that for goodness sakes?

I argued her point and told her she was every bit as pretty as she imagined I am, but if course in the end we had to agree to disagree.

I really don't like compliments.. they make me uncomfortable. I prefer a certain amount of respect based on who I am, not compliments.

I try to always give compliments because so many people (women) have little if any self confidence, as we are constantly being sold an idea of beauty and most women internalize that negatively, But take them I cannot.

I will be honest though, most people who give such backhanded compliments are simply jealous or intimidated by you... And that sort of person is easiest to ignore, because they are just trying to make them feel better about themselves.

 

[Lanolin]

some women wear makeup to cover up freckles though I think freckles are beautiful

or their face features dont. stand out because they are pale that why they put different colour lipsticks on

I had a friend that was stunningly gorgeous, like she was model tall, had a perfect complexion, good teeth, thicky curly hair and everyone would just stare
but she also got bullied because other girls were jealous of her beauty, and she was sad because of this

she was able to work part time as a model but I heard she didnt really like it cos it was very catty. if you are a woman and you are young and have a good figure, its just easy money posing for photographers but you might get bored of it

her real ambition was to be a school teacher, but she never actually got to be because men just ran after her all the time.
if your face is your fortune, you have to learn what to do with it I suppose and handle all the compliments, genuine and backhanded cos thats what people instantly notice about you

If Jesus had been very good looking, I think his ministry would have been quite different?

 

[Lanolin]

I recall one girl at school was very bright
being gifted can be a burden because others get jealous
she would always come into the library cos she loved loved books and reading, and always got top marks in everything, very artistic, just loved learning

but one day I found a note in the library suggestion box, written by someone pretending to be her and it was a bit nasty

I showed it to the principal , so she was aware of it
girls were being nice to her face but behind her back they were jealous, Im not sure what can be done about that really

 

[TheNarrowPath]

So my sister got drunk one night and phoned me. Usually this is the only time honesty comes out of her mouth. So she says to me " Yeah we are thinking of moving there (Canada) and I said good for you. She then said Well Im not meek like you. So I didnt take her bait. I did think about it, what is this meek thing mentioned in the Bible about inheriting something? I know someone did a thread or post about it but I cant find it.
Anyway my point is they are uncomfortable at the sight of you being comfortable with who you are.

 

[Lynx]

So my sister got drunk one night and phoned me. Usually this is the only time honesty comes out of her mouth. So she says to me " Yeah we are thinking of moving there (Canada) and I said good for you. She then said Well Im not meek like you. So I didnt take her bait. I did think about it, what is this meek thing mentioned in the Bible about inheriting something? I know someone did a thread or post about it but I cant find it.
Anyway my point is they are uncomfortable at the sight of you being comfortable with who you are.

The Bible says they will inherit the earth.

Have you seen the shape the world is in though? It's getting to where the meek don't want the earth no more.

 

[TheNarrowPath]

The Bible says they will inherit the earth.

Have you seen the shape the world is in though? It's getting to where the meek don't want the earth no more.

Lol yes I have seen the shape of the world. But I wouldnt dare say no to the Big guy handing out our inheritance 😁

 

[Lynx]

Lol yes I have seen the shape of the world. But I wouldnt dare say no to the Big guy handing out our inheritance 😁

I never said we wouldn't take it. I'm sure we could make a lot of improvements. But it would be a duty, not a prize we won. >.>