If You Had to Describe Your Depression to Someone, What Would You Say That It's Like?

[seoulsearch]

For the record:

I have personally met seoulsearch multiple times. She has never given off "fighting away demons" vibes. She has more of a "continually worried that party guests will be either too hot or too cold, or need another drink, or we might need to set some more snacks out..." vibe.

I also always like to know where the nearest set of restrooms are.

Just kidding! Well, sort of. Sometimes I have sensitivities so I try to be very flexible in what others need to be comfortable as well.

Thanks for kind word -- I appreciate it.

My worry over these things is the result of being around workaholics as a kid. We were never neglected or purposely deprived, but I was often looked after by adults who concentrated on getting things done over food or comfort. We might eat at noon and then never see food again until 10 PM. Of course, as an adult, that might be a normal workday.

But when you're a kid, you can't control those things, so now that I'm a an adult myself (or try to claim to be,) I do worry about getting other people what they need.

 

[seoulsearch]

Thanks for bringing up this very sensitive issue.

The woman below is really going through severe depression.

Perhaps we all can pray for her.

In some of her videos she mentions seeking God.

I don’t have depression, but it seems that your experience with the illness can provide her some comfort.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, Who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God" (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

I will most definitely pray for her -- thank you for bringing this to attention.

 

[seoulsearch]

In other words, we all have had experiences with others in the past, but this does not mean that we should immediately attribute what somebody else says to what others have said before them. Two different people can say similar things with two completely different mindsets or heartsets. My posts were fully motivated by my sincere desire to help others. Anyhow, I feel that I should walk away from this thread, with no hard feelings, so, in order to be true to myself, that is what I will do now. Like I said, I commend you for starting such a thread, and I sincerely hope that it somehow helps somebody to truly be delivered from depression. Have a blessed day.

Yes, of course I understand that different people will be coming from different angles. Anyone who has been here for some time will know that I say this in my posts quite often.

This is why I quoted Lynx in my post -- not yours -- because it's what he said in his own post that activated the thoughts I expressed in my own. The first person I thought of when I read his post was the woman at a church from my past who had told me to throw away my meds. I was specifically thinking about her and the people in that group at that church -- not you.

Anyways...

I do really appreciate your understanding of the purpose behind this thread -- and I'm sure that others can see the sincerity behind your posts as well.

 

[keepingthingsreal]

I can tell you front firsthand experience as well as many others, Christian and non-Christian alike, a barrage of scriptures does not help at all.

Your use of a barrage of scriptures is quite an exaggeration. This is a Christian forum, and it is normal for Christians to offer scriptural advice. Furthermore, I can tell you from personal experience that I have not only been helped by the alleged barrage of scriptures myself, but I personally know several others who have as well.

Anyhow, as I already said, I do not deny that there can be other causes for depression. My intent, as God himself fully knows, was to offer some potential insight into certain biblically-confirmed sources of depression. If my sincere desire to help others has troubled you, then that is on you, and not on me.

I stand firm in what I have previously posted here as possible forms of help for those who are depressed, and you can certainly have the last word if you want it.

This is almost humorous. I offer a series on Hope, and suddenly I am some sort of demon.

 

[keepingthingsreal]

Yes, of course I understand that different people will be coming from different angles. Anyone who has been here for some time will know that I say this in my posts quite often.

This is why I quoted Lynx in my post -- not yours -- because it's what he said in his own post that activated the thoughts I expressed in my own. The first person I thought of when I read his post was the woman at a church from my past who had told me to throw away my meds. I was specifically thinking about her and the people in that group at that church -- not you.

Anyways...

I do really appreciate your understanding of the purpose behind this thread -- and I'm sure that others can see the sincerity behind your posts as well.

I appreciate that. You know, as nobody else here could possibly know, that I have reached out to you privately (and vice versa) in order to check on your well-being, so it would be totally contrary to my nature to even consider possibly adding to your burden or to anybody else's burden.

Anyhow, I really should leave this thread. Again, it is a great topic, so I commend you for addressing it.

 

[Subhumanoidal]

Since you've always been a vocal advocate for helping those with depression, may I ask, do you notice any patterns to the onslaught of your depressive spells? Is there anything you can do to shorten or even avoid them?

The thing that's throwing me about this last one is that it seemed to creep up out of nowhere. It was a little like getting a really sneaky, bad winter cold -- one day, you wake up with a slightly scratchy throat -- but it doesn't seem so bad. The next day, your nose starts itching... The day after that, one side of your nose starts running, then eventually, the other... But it's taken like 5 days for all the symptoms to develop and suddenly you're knocked off your feet -- and it takes weeks, if not months, to finally recover.

I'm trying to remember any clues that set things in motion for a landslide, or if there was something I could have done to stop it in its tracks early on.

Do you -- or anyone else who has depression -- have episodes like this too?

I think mine isn't usually so gradual -- it's more of a sudden dump -- so the severity into which it developed caught me off guard.

Sometimes they can be triggered. As i stated, by music or movies, mostly. At least that's how my past comes up and triggers me. Usually for that I have to find a way to switch gears and move on to other thoughts, if not, I'll simply spiral and really sink into deep depression.
Also focusing on my current or future situations for too long has the same effect. And requires the same mindset as the previous example.
Also there are some days when its just there when I wake up and I've no idea why. Those are the days when I simply cannot fight it.
Or some days I wake up with no motivation to do anything (moreso than usual). This often goes on for days or until something snaps me out of it, such as needing to actually go somewhere. I've no idea what causes that either.

I don't recall any depression times where it slowly encroached upon me, such as you say. Mine tend to hit like a guillotine. But i do understand what you mean, and I can see how it could happen that way, as well.

It may not be an external trigger for you, at least not always. It could very well be an internal response.

 

[Azdesperado72]

I'd love to say I don't understand depression but mine has developed to a point of becoming a disability.

When it is the anxiety side of it, and trust me I have done everything in my power to give it to Jesus, it is an overwelming dread that things won't get better. Or that what ever happened has to be fixed yesterday.

The full on depression side is pure hopelessness. And that even though I believe in God, his will and things being done in his time, I just can't do much other than hide and do my best to make it through with out condemning myself to hell.

 

[seoulsearch]

I'd love to say I don't understand depression but mine has developed to a point of becoming a disability.

When it is the anxiety side of it, and trust me I have done everything in my power to give it to Jesus, it is an overwelming dread that things won't get better. Or that what ever happened has to be fixed yesterday.

The full on depression side is pure hopelessness. And that even though I believe in God, his will and things being done in his time, I just can't do much other than hide and do my best to make it through with out condemning myself to hell.

Hi AZ,

Welcome to CC and thank you very much for sharing. I'm very sorry to hear you're going through all of this. I definitely understand the feeling of dread and hopelessness.

Are you in any kind of support group, or are there any groups for fellowship and support at your church?

As you can see, there are several people here who also struggle with these issues. I hope you'll feel free to join in on any threads and conversations that interest you, and we can be of some help.

Is there anything in particular that we can pray for you, along with help for your anxiety and depression?

 

[Lynx]

Your use of a barrage of scriptures is quite an exaggeration. This is a Christian forum, and it is normal for Christians to offer scriptural advice. Furthermore, I can tell you from personal experience that I have not only been helped by the alleged barrage of scriptures myself, but I personally know several others who have as well.

Anyhow, as I already said, I do not deny that there can be other causes for depression. My intent, as God himself fully knows, was to offer some potential insight into certain biblically-confirmed sources of depression. If my sincere desire to help others has troubled you, then that is on you, and not on me.

I stand firm in what I have previously posted here as possible forms of help for those who are depressed, and you can certainly have the last word if you want it.

This is almost humorous. I offer a series on Hope, and suddenly I am some sort of demon.

Actually I was kind of feeling the same way. Sorry dude.

When I use scripture to make a point, I try to keep it to one or two verses. If I need to reference a lot of verses, usually I just give the scripture number and let people look it up on their own, while I state what I am trying to get across to people in my own words, as those verses relate to the topic at hand.

Of course this is just a word of advice, not an order. You are free to blithely ignore it and go ahead posting long screeds of scripture if you want. But good luck getting your point across to people if you do.

 

[keepingthingsreal]

Actually I was kind of feeling the same way. Sorry dude.

When I use scripture to make a point, I try to keep it to one or two verses. If I need to reference a lot of verses, usually I just give the scripture number and let people look it up on their own, while I state what I am trying to get across to people in my own words, as those verses relate to the topic at hand.

Of course this is just a word of advice, not an order. You are free to blithely ignore it and go ahead posting long screeds of scripture if you want. But good luck getting your point across to people if you do.

Wow. Another Christian with an aversion to God's word, and on a Christian forum no less. Yes, I will completely, yet not blithely, ignore your advice because I can assure you that God does not feel the same way about my use of scripture that you do. I think it is time for me to start employing the use of the ignore feature more freely.

 

[Lynx]

Wow. Another Christian with an aversion to God's word, and on a Christian forum no less. Yes, I will completely, yet not blithely, ignore your advice because I can assure you that God does not feel the same way about my use of scripture that you do. I think it is time for me to start employing the use of the ignore feature more freely.

And I even took the trouble to outline one of the many alternative approaches you could use.

Try to be nice to someone, go out of your way to help him out, and this is what you get...

 

[Lynx]

Wow. Another Christian with an aversion to God's word, and on a Christian forum no less. Yes, I will completely, yet not blithely, ignore your advice because I can assure you that God does not feel the same way about my use of scripture that you do. I think it is time for me to start employing the use of the ignore feature more freely.

Actually... You are starting to remind me more and more of somebody else who used to be here. Were you here on the forum before, under another nickname?

I think the one you remind me of had a four in his nickname.

 

[Smoke]

I've experience "depression" but I don't know how to describe it any other way than explaining how I physically feel. When I have felt depression, I typically feel extremely lethargic and I want to self-isolate. The problem is that the more I do nothing and self-isolate, the longer I have experienced depression.

Now, I've learned to override my body's response to depression by making myself go against the grain and stay physically active and continue doing the duties that is required of me to function in society. Even if it's just going for a 20 mile bike ride or lifting weights, it helped me move past it. There is a correlation between people who are inactive and being unhealthy, and a correlation with unhealthy people with people who experience chronic depression.

One of the worst things is to give in and do nothing because you "don't feel like it". Of course, we aren't robots and we have feelings, but when we are intellectually aware, we can sort of override those feelings which only enables us to stay in deep depression. With my parents, they often told me they "don't have the luxury of being depressed"... I'm sure some people will be offended by this or think they are ignorant as to what depression really is if they describe it's a "luxury", but I also know what they mean when they said this growing up. For example, my mom has had multiple miscarriages (on two occasions she was pregnant with twins which is insanely rare). She mourned them and was worried she'd never be able to have children. She fell in a deep depression but knew she had duties to fulfill even if she is depressed. She attributes those duties to helping her get out of her depression. "The show [family] must go on."

Often times we think the impulse to do nothing is irresistible for depressed people. I'm not so sure though... I think more often people refuse to resist the impulse to do nothing. I pray anyone who is experiencing depression can overcome it.

 

[MsMediator]

My depression, when I feel this, is caused by several factors. I would say the primary cause stems from loneliness, or similarly, disconnect from others due to unresolved matters or failing to seeing eye-to-eye. I find that our bonds would be much closer otherwise, so therein is a sense of loss. Depression is a sense of emptiness in some form, and could even result from feeling disconnected/unheard from God. That, I would say is the primary cause for me. One thing that has helped, is realizing that our relationships with others as well as with God will not be perfect (while we should still aim for improvement but recognizing limitations). However, our hope is that they will be fully restored in heaven.

There can be other causes as well. My last depression period was caused by a death in the family, and the resulting feelings of emptiness from that. Additionally, I became fixated on some other issues which worsened my state.

I do think there is some truth to one being too busy to be depressed (or lonely). Things like work, exercise, activities/hobbies, sleep, friendships, pets, etc. can help with depression. At the same time, these things I believe only serve as band-aids.

I believe going to church (at least the church I went to) also triggered depression with the hymn songs and some of the sermons. The purpose of the hymns is to show how great God is and the kingdom/heaven to come, and how much we need God. However, while I find that the songs show hope they also remind us of our weaknesses and our struggles. The impact of the songs are such that they first have to bring us to a low point. Broadly speaking, also, we are routinely reminded of hell and the unsaved. For me, I find that these routine reminders add to the undercurrent of depression. Similarly, I find a lot of secular songs are also triggers even if the songs contain lyrics which I have not experienced.

Most everyone I know appears to have experienced depression (even if they have not explicitly said so). This is observed from their actions, including whether they have become more withdrawn.

 

[Subhumanoidal]

I've experience "depression" but I don't know how to describe it any other way than explaining how I physically feel. When I have felt depression, I typically feel extremely lethargic and I want to self-isolate. The problem is that the more I do nothing and self-isolate, the longer I have experienced depression.

Now, I've learned to override my body's response to depression by making myself go against the grain and stay physically active and continue doing the duties that is required of me to function in society. Even if it's just going for a 20 mile bike ride or lifting weights, it helped me move past it. There is a correlation between people who are inactive and being unhealthy, and a correlation with unhealthy people with people who experience chronic depression.

One of the worst things is to give in and do nothing because you "don't feel like it". Of course, we aren't robots and we have feelings, but when we are intellectually aware, we can sort of override those feelings which only enables us to stay in deep depression. With my parents, they often told me they "don't have the luxury of being depressed"... I'm sure some people will be offended by this or think they are ignorant as to what depression really is if they describe it's a "luxury", but I also know what they mean when they said this growing up. For example, my mom has had multiple miscarriages (on two occasions she was pregnant with twins which is insanely rare). She mourned them and was worried she'd never be able to have children. She fell in a deep depression but knew she had duties to fulfill even if she is depressed. She attributes those duties to helping her get out of her depression. "The show [family] must go on."

Often times we think the impulse to do nothing is irresistible for depressed people. I'm not so sure though... I think more often people refuse to resist the impulse to do nothing. I pray anyone who is experiencing depression can overcome it.

A few examples of this does not mean it's the same for everyone. Some people's depression is quite severe while others have a more mild effect.
Also the cause of the depression can be a factor. I once knew a guy who told me he was depressed. I gave him the diet, exercise, sleep advice and it worked.
But I, for one, have not had such luck. As a teen I had depression quite badly. And some anger. I was raised going to church and got saved at 14. I went to church and/or youth group regularly. I had friends, went out with them and kept fairly busy. Not to mention still going to school.
Yet this was the worst period of depression I've ever had. It went on for years.
Currently I live alone, lots of health issues, disabled, no friends in my area and can go weeks without even getting a text from anyone. I don't even leave the house except for doctor visits. I have way more reasons, now, to be depressed than I did as a teen, yet I suffer from depression less now than I did before.
I've, of course, had jobs throughout my life, yet I was still depressed. Even when I started biking to work and eating differently, losing weight, I was still depressed.
So just because people stay active does not mean that's an automatic cure for everyone. Many people with depression still work and do things.
What one can do to help, or try to help, with their depression varies due to the cause. The cause is not the same for everyone and therefore there is no single cure all for everyone.

 

[seoulsearch]

I'm really thankful that people are willing to share their own experiences.

I had been thinking for a long time that there are so many times when we can say something collectively, like "Yes, I suffer from depression," but it can manifest in different people in very different ways.

So even if someone else has experienced it, it might appear very differently from the next person.

I know a healthy lifestyle is always recommended for everyone, but I have always gone in cycles. I'll be "good" for several weeks, then get too tired or feel worse from exercise and need to stop for a while, etc. -- then start up again.

I've always wondered what would happen or if I'd "get better" if I could keep it up consistently. I know this might also point to bipolar but I know the answer is almost always medication, and as long as I can keep up with my responsibilities, I'd rather avoid it if I can.

Thank you all for your contributions.

 

[seoulsearch]

My depression, when I feel this, is caused by several factors. I would say the primary cause stems from loneliness, or similarly, disconnect from others due to unresolved matters or failing to seeing eye-to-eye. I find that our bonds would be much closer otherwise, so therein is a sense of loss. Depression is a sense of emptiness in some form, and could even result from feeling disconnected/unheard from God. That, I would say is the primary cause for me. One thing that has helped, is realizing that our relationships with others as well as with God will not be perfect (while we should still aim for improvement but recognizing limitations). However, our hope is that they will be fully restored in heaven.

There can be other causes as well. My last depression period was caused by a death in the family, and the resulting feelings of emptiness from that. Additionally, I became fixated on some other issues which worsened my state.

I do think there is some truth to one being too busy to be depressed (or lonely). Things like work, exercise, activities/hobbies, sleep, friendships, pets, etc. can help with depression. At the same time, these things I believe only serve as band-aids.

I believe going to church (at least the church I went to) also triggered depression with the hymn songs and some of the sermons. The purpose of the hymns is to show how great God is and the kingdom/heaven to come, and how much we need God. However, while I find that the songs show hope they also remind us of our weaknesses and our struggles. The impact of the songs are such that they first have to bring us to a low point. Broadly speaking, also, we are routinely reminded of hell and the unsaved. For me, I find that these routine reminders add to the undercurrent of depression. Similarly, I find a lot of secular songs are also triggers even if the songs contain lyrics which I have not experienced.

Most everyone I know appears to have experienced depression (even if they have not explicitly said so). This is observed from their actions, including whether they have become more withdrawn.

THANK YOU so much for mentioning this!!!

I have always wondered if there was a kind of subset of "Religious Depression" that almost warrants its own category.

One experience I had was being on a prayer team. A young couple married came to us week after week, pregnant with their first baby. But the doctor told them the baby would most likely not make it. And so we PRAYED for them every week -- one time I even felt the baby kick!!!

I was elated. I thought that was a definite sign that God was going to HEAL this little one!!!

But God made another decision, and the boy died as she was giving birth. His heartbeat just stopped. The mother came back to us, a girl of only about 22, saying the hardest thing was that EVERYONE was now asking her, "Where is the baby?!", and she had to explain this horrible tragedy every single time. I cried an ocean of tears for that family. Now, a few years later, God DID bless them with another baby, but seeing them go through that trauma was spiritually scarring.

I know miracles can happen, but they seem to be very, very rare.

I often lose hope because I feel that my prayers are worthless. NOT because I somehow believe that they're supposed to make a huge difference, but I'm sure everyone knows that crushing disappointment of praying continuously for endless numbers of people, and nothing changes, or the worst happens.

The past several years, I can't even count how many people I've prayed for (family, friends, friends of family and friends,) who are suffering with cancer, and in each case, it seemed to get worse, and/or the person passed away. Some have been quite young, so it's not like they were even close to the end.

I know we are to believe, to have faith, to trust in God's sovereignty above all else, because He's good and makes the best decisions in any circumstance.

But boy, is it hard to keep praying and believing and hoping when the people you pray for constantly keep losing body parts, function, quality of life, and/or passing away, leaving devastated children and families behind.

 

[Tall_Timbers]

He described it as a heavy, crushing fog and smoke that cluttered his mind and heart, and black as when God struck Egypt with the plague of darkness (the Bible says it was SO dark, that no one could go anywhere for 3 days because they couldn't see anyone or anything in front of them -- but God spared His people from this and gave them light during this time.)

He said that for 3 days, he felt like he couldn't think anything through and that his heart was being crushed with despair. After experiencing that, he felt that he now knew better how to pray for people going through it.

I'd say that's a better more accurate description than I could have given. I only went through a depressed state one time in my life and it lasted about two weeks. I don't wish that on anyone. My heart goes out to those that because of their chemistry experience it frequently.

 

[EternalFire]

I will most definitely pray for her -- thank you for bringing this to attention.

My pleasure. I'm glad that she's in your prayers.