How to enjoy your singleness
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I don't spend a lot of time talking about being single or being around those who talk about it a lot because that lifestyle isn't something i can relate to. Usually i am too busy with other things. For me single or relationship is just a status that i can change whenever, so its not really that i enjoy the status of single, but i enjoy life if that makes any type of sense.
There are times when i value my status though, like a week ago i saw this one woman pretty much airing out her boyfriends dirty laundry in the middle of the street so everyone nearby could hear.
Was so glad that wasn't me... TMI.. Learned many things i probably shouldn't have, but oh well..
There are times when i value my status though, like a week ago i saw this one woman pretty much airing out her boyfriends dirty laundry in the middle of the street so everyone nearby could hear.
Was so glad that wasn't me... TMI.. Learned many things i probably shouldn't have, but oh well..
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I think I just accept people for who they are rather than interrogate them about whether they are married or single the first time I meet them.
It not like in the olden days where if anyone saw a woman BY HERSELF they took pity on her and sent her back home cos she wasnt even allowed to be outside without a chaperone or on the arm of a husband.
most married people do wear their wedding rings and its obvious they are married just look at their finger if you not sure
It not like in the olden days where if anyone saw a woman BY HERSELF they took pity on her and sent her back home cos she wasnt even allowed to be outside without a chaperone or on the arm of a husband.
most married people do wear their wedding rings and its obvious they are married just look at their finger if you not sure
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I dont think it really matters because if they are doing their job it doesnt really matter if they are single or married just that they are doing a good job.
Why do people think it matters so much what status people are? I dont categorise my friends into married and unmarried. They are just friends to me on their own merits. for most people it doesnt even come up in conversation about life, or its not something to keep going on and on about. Theres way more interesting things to talk about than marriage issues or single person issues. Im not one of those people who try to navel gaze and interrogate people all the time about their living arrangements.
Why do people think it matters so much what status people are? I dont categorise my friends into married and unmarried. They are just friends to me on their own merits. for most people it doesnt even come up in conversation about life, or its not something to keep going on and on about. Theres way more interesting things to talk about than marriage issues or single person issues. Im not one of those people who try to navel gaze and interrogate people all the time about their living arrangements.
just want to add before post timed out.
just cos you are single doesnt mean you dont have family. you have brothers, sisters. aunties, uncles, parents, grandparents, pets etc. Family doesnt just mean wife, husband, children, grandchildren. You are still part of a family, single doesnt automatically mean you are on your own. i think people need to get over this artifical idea of the 'nuclear family' cos most families are not made up of husband, wife and two point five children.
just cos you are single doesnt mean you dont have family. you have brothers, sisters. aunties, uncles, parents, grandparents, pets etc. Family doesnt just mean wife, husband, children, grandchildren. You are still part of a family, single doesnt automatically mean you are on your own. i think people need to get over this artifical idea of the 'nuclear family' cos most families are not made up of husband, wife and two point five children.
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maybe it ought to be a new thread, but I get the feeling many people on here feel judged, mostly negatively for being single.
why is this? this shouldnt be.
Being single is the best because, you arent judged on the merits of your spouse. You can be yourself. And being yourself is OK.
many many times in the Bible, Jesus talks about how being single is totally acceptable.
Another thing he said is that its children who are not forbidden from the kingdom of heaven. All children are single (unless they are techinically twins) . God relates to us indiviually, He does not say evryone has to have a spouse to enter in.
Paul spoke of not forbidding marriage but because it was to avoid fornication. Not because marriage made everyone happy! Someone who is unmarried cares for the Lord and is devoted to Him, and not distracted or has to please his or her spouse first.
when you enter the Kingdom. God isnt going to say sorry but where is your other half? why didnt you marry? dont you love anybody? No He isnt going to say that, so please people quit worrying about it.
why is this? this shouldnt be.
Being single is the best because, you arent judged on the merits of your spouse. You can be yourself. And being yourself is OK.
many many times in the Bible, Jesus talks about how being single is totally acceptable.
Another thing he said is that its children who are not forbidden from the kingdom of heaven. All children are single (unless they are techinically twins) . God relates to us indiviually, He does not say evryone has to have a spouse to enter in.
Paul spoke of not forbidding marriage but because it was to avoid fornication. Not because marriage made everyone happy! Someone who is unmarried cares for the Lord and is devoted to Him, and not distracted or has to please his or her spouse first.
when you enter the Kingdom. God isnt going to say sorry but where is your other half? why didnt you marry? dont you love anybody? No He isnt going to say that, so please people quit worrying about it.
Singleness is the only season where its members forget how to live and obsess over its presence. And for more than a few it becomes their identity and overshadows the whole to their detriment. If we viewed this period in a similar guise as adolescence, middle age, and other acts. We’d be less daunted about its arrival and avidly pursuing the activities it allows us to indulge. The more we differentiate singleness between the other stanzas. The greater the likelihood we’ll fear its continuance. It’s the premise of remaining in this state which scares us most. 
When a new season arrives, my primary concern is its theme. Determining the activities that will capture my focus is the first step. I utilize a pie diagram to visualize my time and assign percentages to each quadrant. I look for balance and complementary engagements which reinforce one element while strengthening another. I use a system of give and take to prevent overwhelm. When I add something to my plate I relinquish another task.
I begin a process of review and introspection in November. I consider my performance, lessons and experiences over the year and have a period of quiet to prepare for the one to come. Afterwards, I’m able to discern the mood and intention I want to impart throughout. And I define it as my word of the year. I choose one for work and another for my personal life. It’s my benchmark for the next twelve months. I keep tabs on my progress and have a weekly talk with my best friend. We provide mutual accountability and support to one another and motivation or an ear when needed.
Right now, I’m taking year round sewing classes while I prepare for design school. After I created a wardrobe plan for myself, I decided to lead a group and support others (sewers) who desired to do the same. I’m using the experience as a springboard for a course later on.
I’ve wrapped up my woodworking project. I built a cutting cart. They’re used in sewing studios to lay out fabric . I designed the piece myself and my instructor assisted with its construction. Unlike most tables, the unit features storage throughout, is on casters, and can be disassembled. I can’t wait to bring it home.
With spring on the horizon, I’m looking at drawing classes and getting prepared for canning season. It’s heaviest in the summer. I’m replenishing the pantry and making liqueurs, medicines, and drying fruits and herbs. I have an ongoing decluttering and redecorating project. And a mild obsession with storage goods. I’m nearly finished and hope to complete the remainder by the end of spring.
We’ve had a mild winter and I’m ready to ride again. I like cycling a lot and fresh air is welcoming when you’re home all day. For the most part, the majority of my work throughout the year is on the creative end. I’m hoping for time for small indulgences like photography and others I’ve neglected like scrapbooking. And I have to start my French lessons. My vision of quiet evenings doing needlework inspired by Proverbs 31 will have to wait. But I’m getting there.
Last year, the Holy Spirit had me revamp the beautification plan I developed before I returned to God. And my attire too for good measure. I’ve made a lot of progress. But there are other interests I haven't gotten around to like lettering, piano, and Japanese tea service. We have a wonderful Asian facility which provides instruction (by Japanese masters) in several arts including Ikebana and calligraphy. I’d like to take advantage of their resources while I’m here.
On the work front, I’m focusing on networking and improving my presentation skills. I decided to join Toastmasters and return to a women’s non profit I was part of in the past. Both global organizations will enable me to meet people in a welcoming environment when I’m away. And the group’s social events may yield a prospect or two. I’ve been dragging my feet and He’s pricking me. My image consulting class begins this spring and I’m looking forward to it. As are friends and family members. They’re my guinea pigs.
It appears the theme for 2020 is transition. I’m moving away from one phase and entering another. I see a pattern of arrivals and departures. The burgeoning interest in gatherings makes sense given the shift. There’s been a steady progression from my return and the period of study and service within the church. To the revelation of His purpose and its validation from others. Through the blueprint He provided for its accomplishment to my want to give more to Him.
The greater benefit lifestyle design provided was the refinement of my interests and focus to align them with His. As I set aside every day things and others which outlived their purpose in exchange for activities related to my gifts and talents. I noticed a steady current of peace and joy. Not the boisterous kind. But the quiet constant you might ignore because it’s always there.
Allowing Him to order my steps and refusing to succumb to expectations and influences is the difference. No one could tell me what God had in store. I needed to hear from the Source. When I got on His page and operated from His measure of ability. The changes that followed within and without are too numerous to count.
As He steers me towards the ones I’m meant to serve. I’m embracing the journey with open arms. The best gift I’ve given myself is the cessation of should’s and rhetoric in deference to what He says. Who I am in His eyes. Not man’s or fellow believers. My identity is rooted in Him and that’s where contentment dwells.
When I was a little girl, we used to sing This Little Light of Mine. I never imagined that would be my story. Shining a light in unexpected places. For me, singleness is a vehicle for growth and abundant living that’s necessary for the phase that follows. Properly used, we develop the tools for self-management and pateience.
If we’re watching, we’ll witness God’s hand at work and His providence. These carry us through the days when time is fleeting and responsibilities are plentiful. And the likelihood of discontent and ingratitude are great. We lament the things we didn’t explore and limitations on our purse. But if we’ve learned the lesson we take comfort that it’s only for a while. Another season awaits.
That’s my epitaph. Passion, Purpose, and Providence. That’s how I live.
When a new season arrives, my primary concern is its theme. Determining the activities that will capture my focus is the first step. I utilize a pie diagram to visualize my time and assign percentages to each quadrant. I look for balance and complementary engagements which reinforce one element while strengthening another. I use a system of give and take to prevent overwhelm. When I add something to my plate I relinquish another task.
I begin a process of review and introspection in November. I consider my performance, lessons and experiences over the year and have a period of quiet to prepare for the one to come. Afterwards, I’m able to discern the mood and intention I want to impart throughout. And I define it as my word of the year. I choose one for work and another for my personal life. It’s my benchmark for the next twelve months. I keep tabs on my progress and have a weekly talk with my best friend. We provide mutual accountability and support to one another and motivation or an ear when needed.
Right now, I’m taking year round sewing classes while I prepare for design school. After I created a wardrobe plan for myself, I decided to lead a group and support others (sewers) who desired to do the same. I’m using the experience as a springboard for a course later on.
I’ve wrapped up my woodworking project. I built a cutting cart. They’re used in sewing studios to lay out fabric . I designed the piece myself and my instructor assisted with its construction. Unlike most tables, the unit features storage throughout, is on casters, and can be disassembled. I can’t wait to bring it home.
With spring on the horizon, I’m looking at drawing classes and getting prepared for canning season. It’s heaviest in the summer. I’m replenishing the pantry and making liqueurs, medicines, and drying fruits and herbs. I have an ongoing decluttering and redecorating project. And a mild obsession with storage goods. I’m nearly finished and hope to complete the remainder by the end of spring.
We’ve had a mild winter and I’m ready to ride again. I like cycling a lot and fresh air is welcoming when you’re home all day. For the most part, the majority of my work throughout the year is on the creative end. I’m hoping for time for small indulgences like photography and others I’ve neglected like scrapbooking. And I have to start my French lessons. My vision of quiet evenings doing needlework inspired by Proverbs 31 will have to wait. But I’m getting there.
Last year, the Holy Spirit had me revamp the beautification plan I developed before I returned to God. And my attire too for good measure. I’ve made a lot of progress. But there are other interests I haven't gotten around to like lettering, piano, and Japanese tea service. We have a wonderful Asian facility which provides instruction (by Japanese masters) in several arts including Ikebana and calligraphy. I’d like to take advantage of their resources while I’m here.
On the work front, I’m focusing on networking and improving my presentation skills. I decided to join Toastmasters and return to a women’s non profit I was part of in the past. Both global organizations will enable me to meet people in a welcoming environment when I’m away. And the group’s social events may yield a prospect or two. I’ve been dragging my feet and He’s pricking me. My image consulting class begins this spring and I’m looking forward to it. As are friends and family members. They’re my guinea pigs.
It appears the theme for 2020 is transition. I’m moving away from one phase and entering another. I see a pattern of arrivals and departures. The burgeoning interest in gatherings makes sense given the shift. There’s been a steady progression from my return and the period of study and service within the church. To the revelation of His purpose and its validation from others. Through the blueprint He provided for its accomplishment to my want to give more to Him.
The greater benefit lifestyle design provided was the refinement of my interests and focus to align them with His. As I set aside every day things and others which outlived their purpose in exchange for activities related to my gifts and talents. I noticed a steady current of peace and joy. Not the boisterous kind. But the quiet constant you might ignore because it’s always there.
Allowing Him to order my steps and refusing to succumb to expectations and influences is the difference. No one could tell me what God had in store. I needed to hear from the Source. When I got on His page and operated from His measure of ability. The changes that followed within and without are too numerous to count.
As He steers me towards the ones I’m meant to serve. I’m embracing the journey with open arms. The best gift I’ve given myself is the cessation of should’s and rhetoric in deference to what He says. Who I am in His eyes. Not man’s or fellow believers. My identity is rooted in Him and that’s where contentment dwells.
When I was a little girl, we used to sing This Little Light of Mine. I never imagined that would be my story. Shining a light in unexpected places. For me, singleness is a vehicle for growth and abundant living that’s necessary for the phase that follows. Properly used, we develop the tools for self-management and pateience.
If we’re watching, we’ll witness God’s hand at work and His providence. These carry us through the days when time is fleeting and responsibilities are plentiful. And the likelihood of discontent and ingratitude are great. We lament the things we didn’t explore and limitations on our purse. But if we’ve learned the lesson we take comfort that it’s only for a while. Another season awaits.
That’s my epitaph. Passion, Purpose, and Providence. That’s how I live.