Hey everybody, I'm having a CC get together tomorrow night at my place.
I'm in Canada, so you'll have to sneak across the border, but that won't be hard to do because our Canadian Mounties spend most of their time distracted by having to constantly clean up after their horses that have eaten too much expired bacon!!!
NodMyHeadLikeYeah bring your quirky sense of humor (just don't try to be funnier than me, it's my party after all), SeoulSearch bring a big box of malt-ball chocolates (but just for me to eat), AzureAfire bring your bad poetry skills so I can defeat you once and for all and be shamefully crowned CC's Worst Poet, and Jullianna bring a set of your handcuffs (don't ask why!!!).
Arwen I need you to show up to be my Canadian Back-Up, in case those crazy Americans get out of control, as they are known to do in foreign countries they plan to conquer!!!
The rest of you just bring your Bibles and I'll autograph them for you (you know I wrote the first Gospel, right? My real name proves it!!!).
There will be a $10 cover charge to get into my house, so I can pay for all the non-alcoholic beer I'll be serving, but of course no one will drink it, and I'll use it to water my fake plastic plants (everyone knows real plants can't survive in Canada's insane cold weather). And you can only pay me with loonies and toonies (no Benjamin Franklins allowed!!!).
To end the evening, I'll be taking you all on a tour to see the house in Stratford, Ontario where Justin Bieber was raised (not to admire it, but to burn it down in protest of his war against decent and talented music).
I look forward to meeting you all in person face-to-my-angelic-face!!!
P.S. No guys allowed!!! If I'm going to be meeting a lot of single CC women tomorrow night, I don't want any competition with guys who are more attractive than me, more humorous than me, or more charming than me! (Who am I kidding, no such men exist!!!). Okay, guys are welcome as well.