How Do Christians Date Without Viewing Their Potential Prospects as Sex Objects in Their Minds?

[seoulsearch]

Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. It is not even about looking/staring - the key thing that is important here - that makes the difference - is 'to lust after her'. And, it is possible for a man to look - or even stare - at a woman without lusting after her in his heart. When it becomes lust for the woman is when it becomes sin.

Another key difference here -- looking vs. lusting.

Thanks for pointing this out, Gary!

 

[GaryA]

I would like to suggest something that may be helpful... (not a guaranteed simple "cure")

If a man adopts an attitude and way of thinking such that he considers every woman on earth as being his sister, daughter, niece, etc. - the way he "sees" them can be "regulated" by good intent and self-discipline. And, with continual dedication to this way of thinking - and, with the Lord's help - his "thought life" can become "cleaner" with time - and, actually become more easy to maintain without falling into the "gutter" of over-sexed thinking.

I can attest to the fact that it works wonderfully if you sincerely apply yourself to it while "bringing into captivity every thought" (2 Corinthians 10:5) - which is much easier to do when it is your sister...

And, that is the key thing - how are you going to think about a particular woman if you convince yourself that she is your sister?

It will not prevent any marriage possibilities in view; however, it may help you "ease into a relationship" with a better balance - not being totally overtaken with a fixation on sex.

If she is saved, then she is my sister-in-Christ. If she is not saved, then she is a sister in the human race. In either case, she is my sister, daughter, niece, etc.

 

[GaryA]

Of course, the same idea may also apply to the genders-in-reverse scenario...

 

[Lynx]

Or you could just think of women as humans instead of objects. I find if I listen to what people, men and women, say, and look at the kind of personality showing in their eyes, it's a lot harder to objectify them.

 

[stingray72]

As i think of this subject i begin to think of Gods example of love and his example of relationship and how we must also walk in the fruit of the spirit etc. I think if God is our central focus and we seek him with all our heart soul mind and strength we continually do these types of things and feed our spirit man instead of our flesh which creates these wars within. The devil would have us think we cant be masters over those things but the truth is we can should and will if walking in God and the spirit. Just another example of the accuser of the brethren and God as the way the truth and the life.

 

[stingray72]

We also have to remember the mind is a battle ground and we are to cast down every thought and imagination that exalts itself against the knowledge of God. That is also another reason we need to be in the word so that we can be ye transformed by the renewing of the mind that we may know the perfect pleasing will of God our father.

 

[stingray72]

One thing i know is each and every one of us can come before God and pray and seek his face on this subject and he will be faithful to answer teach and direct us because dont forget the prayer of a righteous man availith much. There isnt one thing the Lord sees as insignificant when it comes to knowing him and his ways.