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I think that you were drowninf in a sea of loneliness and despair and then this guy put a smile on your face for awhile. It is not a sin to date a non-Christian but probably unwise to do so. The guy dumped you because he is not really into you and you take up too much of his time and energy. My counsel is to forget this guy, take some time to be by yourself and organize your priorities on what is really important to you in a prospective spouse. Glad to have you onboard with us. Welcome to CC.
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Yes I think I really believe this 
because if he truly loved me he wouldn't of left me even if he couldn't stand the fighting he would of atleast given us a break right? His love for me turned to hate?
because if he truly loved me he wouldn't of left me even if he couldn't stand the fighting he would of atleast given us a break right? His love for me turned to hate?
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First, no intention to be rude or judge. Just my opinion. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean it’s the right time, person or place. Second, co habitation is never a good idea nor a good idea to move in with a mans family especially when you are not married. I live alone but wow I would be uncomfortable living with my brother and his girlfriend. And cat poop and moldy mess ? Oh I can’t go there. I don’t care if it isn’t my home I’m donning gloves and a mask and cleaning that mess up or heading back to my own place.
I wish you Gods blessings. I think you need to accept what is. Wish him well and let him go as painful as that is. If I broke things off with a man and he continued to try to contact me I would feel uncomfortable. Take some time for you. Be kind to you ! God bless.
I wish you Gods blessings. I think you need to accept what is. Wish him well and let him go as painful as that is. If I broke things off with a man and he continued to try to contact me I would feel uncomfortable. Take some time for you. Be kind to you ! God bless.
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Let me explain since my quick before work post wasn't as kind as it could have been: I did not mean to imply that you are more messed up than the guy you were seeing. I meant to say that it sounds like there are things in your life much bigger than this one particular relationship that have been driving you to repeatedly make unhealthy and unwise choices. And I would predict that you will continue to have relationships fail on you in one way or another until you discover and address those things, and I don't want to see anyone heap that kind of pain on themselves. It sounds like you're already taking steps to address these things and that's great. But I'm still going to say that no, I don't think this relationship can be put back together in a healthy way and it will be better for all parties concerned to move on.
And yes you can love someone but decide that they are not a healthy person to be around so you won't be around them anymore. It stinks and it hurts, but it is possible for a variety of reasons. It's also possible to love someone and yet let them become less a part of your life because in order to accommodate some better things in their life they aren't going to have as much time for you. And yes it's pretty normal to feel like you weren't good enough to get it when you don't get what you want, but there are other ways to view not getting what you want. Sometimes (I'd say most of the time actually) it's God keeping you from doing something foolish that you'll regret for decades rather than God punishing you for any failing.
And yes you can love someone but decide that they are not a healthy person to be around so you won't be around them anymore. It stinks and it hurts, but it is possible for a variety of reasons. It's also possible to love someone and yet let them become less a part of your life because in order to accommodate some better things in their life they aren't going to have as much time for you. And yes it's pretty normal to feel like you weren't good enough to get it when you don't get what you want, but there are other ways to view not getting what you want. Sometimes (I'd say most of the time actually) it's God keeping you from doing something foolish that you'll regret for decades rather than God punishing you for any failing.
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You wrote multiple extremely lengthy posts, and did so without creating a single paragraph, so chances that people read all of that are quite thin.
And you've responded defensively and argumentively over and over again when people attempt to offer you advice... that you asked for.
If you're going to write That much, and have so many posts responding to people each with it's own full post, don't expect that everyone read all of them. It's an unreasonable expectation to place on people, and seeing how poorly you respond on top of it is a continued deterrent.
If you want help then have realistic expectations for others, stop playing a martyr, stop defending your actions and try to be Appreciative that people are taking the time to try and help at all.
PS look up the word judging. The way you so casually throw it around it doesn't seem you understand the True meaning of it.
And you've responded defensively and argumentively over and over again when people attempt to offer you advice... that you asked for.
If you're going to write That much, and have so many posts responding to people each with it's own full post, don't expect that everyone read all of them. It's an unreasonable expectation to place on people, and seeing how poorly you respond on top of it is a continued deterrent.
If you want help then have realistic expectations for others, stop playing a martyr, stop defending your actions and try to be Appreciative that people are taking the time to try and help at all.
PS look up the word judging. The way you so casually throw it around it doesn't seem you understand the True meaning of it.
C
Yes I am so lonely I have no friends in my life He was my bestfriend. I think I got hurt because he wasn't Christian he wasn't compassionate towards me so I want to pray for God to send me a Godly man when I am ready.
It hurts hearing that but I know it's the truth. I took up too much of his time & he didn't see me as being worthy.
I want to be single for awhile & wait on God because my heart needs to heal. Even thought of another guy makes me just think of him. Someone told me that if I wanted a Godly man I should pray for what his personality is like, what he looks like & what values I want him to have, should I pray for all of those things or will God know what I need when I say please send me a Godly man?
Thank you for your kindness & not judging me. I'm happy to have joined this group. God bless you
It hurts hearing that but I know it's the truth. I took up too much of his time & he didn't see me as being worthy.
I want to be single for awhile & wait on God because my heart needs to heal. Even thought of another guy makes me just think of him. Someone told me that if I wanted a Godly man I should pray for what his personality is like, what he looks like & what values I want him to have, should I pray for all of those things or will God know what I need when I say please send me a Godly man?
Thank you for your kindness & not judging me. I'm happy to have joined this group. God bless you
C
Yes I agree, I sinned in moving in with him when I wasn't married to him. I want to be better & not have sexual relations before marriage anymore, I want a Godly man in my life when God thinks I'm ready.
Yes I cleaned up the whole apartment twice & it took me hours, then they would mess the place up again the next day. I was always wanting to go home & when the flea infestation took place I had to go back home.
That's true, I just thought we could be friends. He said he still wanted me in his life & to be friends someday so I'm just confused. Thank you for your help, may God bless you too.
Yes I cleaned up the whole apartment twice & it took me hours, then they would mess the place up again the next day. I was always wanting to go home & when the flea infestation took place I had to go back home.
That's true, I just thought we could be friends. He said he still wanted me in his life & to be friends someday so I'm just confused. Thank you for your help, may God bless you too.
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C
Thank you for your apology. I'm sorry that I misunderstood you. You are totally right, I have a lot of my own issues & then I took them all out on him which caused him to break up with me. I've been trying to get myself better I've been going to church reading the bible talking in my Christian chat going for walks taking care of my dog & cat getting exercise cooking & baking vegan food reading Christian books to get me closer to God going to bible study group at church thinking of things that are heavenly "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. " - Philippians 4:8
So do you think its wrong to pray for him to get saved and come back into my life when we are both healthy & healed from the fighting if we live more Godly? I am becoming a better Christian & I want to pray for his soul too, I believe that if two people really love eachother they will always come back what is meant to come back will be in your life if God allows it, so if he doesn't come back then it's not God's will. But I don't think its impossible if we are taking care of ourselves & living a more Godly life that we can atleast be friends anything is possible with God.
That's true I've read that today also that it's God protecting you from something & preparing you for something greater. I know that He has hope for me & a future "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11
So do you think its wrong to pray for him to get saved and come back into my life when we are both healthy & healed from the fighting if we live more Godly? I am becoming a better Christian & I want to pray for his soul too, I believe that if two people really love eachother they will always come back what is meant to come back will be in your life if God allows it, so if he doesn't come back then it's not God's will. But I don't think its impossible if we are taking care of ourselves & living a more Godly life that we can atleast be friends anything is possible with God.
That's true I've read that today also that it's God protecting you from something & preparing you for something greater. I know that He has hope for me & a future "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11
C
Well I tried created a paragraph but it didn't give me any more room. Should I delete this if people won't read it?
How poorly I respond? Why wouldn't I take it personal when someone says I have more issues then the guy when I have apologized and admitted my wrongdoings in my post there is no reason to point out my faults when I am admitting I was in the wrong, why make me feel worse?
You really are not acting like a kind hearted Christian and I wish to talk to other people who will lift me up. Good day
How poorly I respond? Why wouldn't I take it personal when someone says I have more issues then the guy when I have apologized and admitted my wrongdoings in my post there is no reason to point out my faults when I am admitting I was in the wrong, why make me feel worse?
You really are not acting like a kind hearted Christian and I wish to talk to other people who will lift me up. Good day
I think that part of the healing process for both of you will be to let go of any future expectations. By all means pray for him to be saved and that God would have his way in this man's life, I'm all for that. I just don't think it very wise to be asking for him back while you're trying to get over him and be healed from the stuff that went wrong. And I would imagine that it would be very hard to be back in each other's lives and not naturally fall into the familiar and unhealthy patterns of relationship that you'd previously established, at least not anytime in the near future.
I think there's a character limit for each post, not sure how long it is but yeah blank lines probably eat into that limit. Still more readable to keep things in shorter paragraphs than one big run together wall even if it means an additional post.
I think there's a character limit for each post, not sure how long it is but yeah blank lines probably eat into that limit. Still more readable to keep things in shorter paragraphs than one big run together wall even if it means an additional post.
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Well Callie - I did read your whole post and what I am going to say is probably not the kind of thing yo're going to want to hear. Here it is anyway and it can be summarized by saying this - the advice you seek isn't going to be available to you. The cat's already out of the bag. You're dealing with a consequence of actions and not an opportunity of choice
I hope I don't sound like I'm preaching here but you said you knew premarital sex was sinful. But did you know why? Did you know what that does, what it causes? Do you understand you're on a broken road now? A directionless road? When God commanded his people of Israel with over 630 different laws (not counting all the temple laws) do you think He was doing that to hear himself talk? No, of course not. He was trying His best to make life as enjoyable and fruitful as possible. After all, He started it all in a garden where everything was perfect - the weather, the food, everything. But the consequence of a sinful act distorted the path He knew would be good. Another sin made it crooked some more till soon the consequence of sin made the life difficult and confusing and unhappy where one is lost in their own consequences with no clear choices available.
That's where I think you're at. And this is also your opportunity for new choices. I couldn't tell you whether your relationship with this man would lead to marriage or not and frankly, it's immaterial. What I can tell you is you sold yourself. You gave intimacy to a person without commitment from either him or yourself and you did these things not knowing whether your Father in Heaven was for this or against this. You made no mention of this. At all.
This is the broken road. You can continue down this maze of a rabbit hole or you can make new choices. Know, though, that it saddens God to see His child so unhappy and confused and unsure. Know too, that Christ was sacrificed by His blood on the ground for your very soul. He forgives you Callie - but please remember this: He does not forgive the sin. The sin goes on and corrupts your world like mine does mine, like all who reads this and all who don't.
I will pray you choose to understand what God wants for Callie and to read His word, and to understand that His desire for your life is not borne of a Father's uncompromising strictness. It is borne of Love.
I hope I don't sound like I'm preaching here but you said you knew premarital sex was sinful. But did you know why? Did you know what that does, what it causes? Do you understand you're on a broken road now? A directionless road? When God commanded his people of Israel with over 630 different laws (not counting all the temple laws) do you think He was doing that to hear himself talk? No, of course not. He was trying His best to make life as enjoyable and fruitful as possible. After all, He started it all in a garden where everything was perfect - the weather, the food, everything. But the consequence of a sinful act distorted the path He knew would be good. Another sin made it crooked some more till soon the consequence of sin made the life difficult and confusing and unhappy where one is lost in their own consequences with no clear choices available.
That's where I think you're at. And this is also your opportunity for new choices. I couldn't tell you whether your relationship with this man would lead to marriage or not and frankly, it's immaterial. What I can tell you is you sold yourself. You gave intimacy to a person without commitment from either him or yourself and you did these things not knowing whether your Father in Heaven was for this or against this. You made no mention of this. At all.
This is the broken road. You can continue down this maze of a rabbit hole or you can make new choices. Know, though, that it saddens God to see His child so unhappy and confused and unsure. Know too, that Christ was sacrificed by His blood on the ground for your very soul. He forgives you Callie - but please remember this: He does not forgive the sin. The sin goes on and corrupts your world like mine does mine, like all who reads this and all who don't.
I will pray you choose to understand what God wants for Callie and to read His word, and to understand that His desire for your life is not borne of a Father's uncompromising strictness. It is borne of Love.
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You only have five minutes to edit. You can't change your post now. Any of then.
As I stated you wrote a LOT so you have to expect that not everything you wrote was read. So if someone brings up something you mentioned already it could very well be they couldn't make it through everything you wrote. Hence my statement that need to adjust your expectations in light of the size of what you wrote and expect it not to have all been read.
Many people want to be lifted up in some positive manner, but when once the best thing that can be said is what's honest and necessary then giving positivity is actually detrimental.
I said what I said because it seemed to be the best thing I could find to say and something you needed to hear. For Your benefit. But as long pat's on the back prioritize hard truths things will continue to be the same for you.
As I stated you wrote a LOT so you have to expect that not everything you wrote was read. So if someone brings up something you mentioned already it could very well be they couldn't make it through everything you wrote. Hence my statement that need to adjust your expectations in light of the size of what you wrote and expect it not to have all been read.
Many people want to be lifted up in some positive manner, but when once the best thing that can be said is what's honest and necessary then giving positivity is actually detrimental.
I said what I said because it seemed to be the best thing I could find to say and something you needed to hear. For Your benefit. But as long pat's on the back prioritize hard truths things will continue to be the same for you.
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