Can no longer separate sex from sin

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
T

theanointedsinner

Guest
#81
Everyone has struggles, but it's hard for me to tell if it's just something everyone experiences or if it's because I'm on the spectrum.
but you can extrapolate, "what you might feel can be a magnified version of what the majority would feel" or, "what the majority might feel might be a magnified version" vice versa, on some experience
<-- as an understandable blanket statement
 

OneFaith

Senior Member
Sep 5, 2016
2,270
369
83
#82
I ran out of time editing...

If you stop adding blue, and start adding more and more yellow, eventually the green will fade out.
What if you don't have access to yellow paint?[/QUOTE]

Everyone who has access to God has access to yellow paint- which is innocent and joyful love. There are many types of love- the love between parent and child, the love of best friends, the love between siblings, and the love between a husband and wife. They all have different aspects, but they all have the same base. What would Christ be like as a brother? What would He be like as a son? A friend? A spouse? The anwaer: He'd be loving in accordance to the asspects of each relationship. But let's focus on spouse.

Song of Solomon tells us what kind of husband He'd be. And spiritually speaking, He is that kind of husband to His Bride- the church. He loved her enough to die for her. He shares His most intimate spiritual things with her. He trusts her with the handling of His Word. There is never anything lustful, perverted, or self-seeking with Him toward His Bride. You can't find better yellow paint than His influence.

When you go into a grocery store, you can choose what you will feed on during that week. You can choose healthy produce, or junk food. In the same way, you can choose the influences you feed yourself. You do not have to eat whatever crosses your path. "Ooh there's chewed gum on the ground, oh I passed a donut shop and the donuts look good in the window, oh there's a half eaten piece of pizza in that trash can, ooh look there's Subway."

When you see smut you can immediately turn your nose up at it like you would the pizza in the trash. Then go feed on the good things that you prepared in advance to feed on. There are some very romantic movies out there that are completely anti-smut. Like A Walk to Remember, Fireproof, or Love Comes Softly. Such influences can turn your paint yellow and give you the ability to love more deeply and intensely than lust could pleasure the brain. Because in a loving marriage both your heart and brain are pleasured much more intensely because it's without the guilt that comes with lust.
 
Feb 20, 2016
1,154
266
83
#83
I'm sorry but I cannot stand rom-coms. They bore me to tears. And PureFlix does not make movies, they make video sermons. They're preachers, not filmmakers. If I wanted to get preached at, I'd listen to a sermon.

And as I keep saying, as someone on the spectrum, I want relationships as much as anyone else, but relationships in general are often a mystery for me. And not being able to relate the same way everyone else does can feel very isolating.
 
Feb 20, 2016
1,154
266
83
#84
I'm sorry but I cannot stand rom-coms. They bore me to tears. And PureFlix does not make movies, they make video sermons. They're preachers, not filmmakers. If I wanted to get preached at, I'd listen to a sermon.

And as I keep saying, as someone on the spectrum, I want relationships as much as anyone else, but relationships in general are often a mystery for me. And not being able to relate the same way everyone else does can feel very isolating.
And by the way, PureFlix's movies make me angry because of their victim mentality. And I don't believe anyone, especially Christians, should watch their movies. But that's a story for another day.
 
Feb 20, 2016
1,154
266
83
#85
And by the way, PureFlix's movies make me angry because of their victim mentality. And I don't believe anyone, especially Christians, should watch their movies. But that's a story for another day.
Plus rom-cons often portray romantic love in a way that's not true or realistic. Not to mention they feed a lot of stereotypes.
 
Feb 20, 2016
1,154
266
83
#86
What if you don't have access to yellow paint?
Everyone who has access to God has access to yellow paint- which is innocent and joyful love. There are many types of love- the love between parent and child, the love of best friends, the love between siblings, and the love between a husband and wife. They all have different aspects, but they all have the same base. What would Christ be like as a brother? What would He be like as a son? A friend? A spouse? The anwaer: He'd be loving in accordance to the asspects of each relationship. But let's focus on spouse.

Song of Solomon tells us what kind of husband He'd be. And spiritually speaking, He is that kind of husband to His Bride- the church. He loved her enough to die for her. He shares His most intimate spiritual things with her. He trusts her with the handling of His Word. There is never anything lustful, perverted, or self-seeking with Him toward His Bride. You can't find better yellow paint than His influence.

When you go into a grocery store, you can choose what you will feed on during that week. You can choose healthy produce, or junk food. In the same way, you can choose the influences you feed yourself. You do not have to eat whatever crosses your path. "Ooh there's chewed gum on the ground, oh I passed a donut shop and the donuts look good in the window, oh there's a half eaten piece of pizza in that trash can, ooh look there's Subway."

When you see smut you can immediately turn your nose up at it like you would the pizza in the trash. Then go feed on the good things that you prepared in advance to feed on. There are some very romantic movies out there that are completely anti-smut. Like A Walk to Remember, Fireproof, or Love Comes Softly. Such influences can turn your paint yellow and give you the ability to love more deeply and intensely than lust could pleasure the brain. Because in a loving marriage both your heart and brain are pleasured much more intensely because it's without the guilt that comes with lust.[/QUOTE]

And as I've said before, God is only my Lord and Savior, nothing else. Not even my friend.
 

OneFaith

Senior Member
Sep 5, 2016
2,270
369
83
#87
Everyone who has access to God has access to yellow paint- which is innocent and joyful love. There are many types of love- the love between parent and child, the love of best friends, the love between siblings, and the love between a husband and wife. They all have different aspects, but they all have the same base. What would Christ be like as a brother? What would He be like as a son? A friend? A spouse? The anwaer: He'd be loving in accordance to the asspects of each relationship. But let's focus on spouse.

Song of Solomon tells us what kind of husband He'd be. And spiritually speaking, He is that kind of husband to His Bride- the church. He loved her enough to die for her. He shares His most intimate spiritual things with her. He trusts her with the handling of His Word. There is never anything lustful, perverted, or self-seeking with Him toward His Bride. You can't find better yellow paint than His influence.

When you go into a grocery store, you can choose what you will feed on during that week. You can choose healthy produce, or junk food. In the same way, you can choose the influences you feed yourself. You do not have to eat whatever crosses your path. "Ooh there's chewed gum on the ground, oh I passed a donut shop and the donuts look good in the window, oh there's a half eaten piece of pizza in that trash can, ooh look there's Subway."

When you see smut you can immediately turn your nose up at it like you would the pizza in the trash. Then go feed on the good things that you prepared in advance to feed on. There are some very romantic movies out there that are completely anti-smut. Like A Walk to Remember, Fireproof, or Love Comes Softly. Such influences can turn your paint yellow and give you the ability to love more deeply and intensely than lust could pleasure the brain. Because in a loving marriage both your heart and brain are pleasured much more intensely because it's without the guilt that comes with lust.
And as I've said before, God is only my Lord and Savior, nothing else. Not even my friend.[/QUOTE]

Why is God not your friend?

"I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you." John 15:15
 
Feb 20, 2016
1,154
266
83
#88
And as I've said before, God is only my Lord and Savior, nothing else. Not even my friend.
Why is God not your friend?

"I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you." John 15:15[/QUOTE]

Because he's God, and I'm not. I define whether or not someone is a friend by how close I am to them. And months of trying to get close to God just went nowhere.
 
Feb 20, 2016
1,154
266
83
#89
I view God the same way I do my employer. I don't go to work to be buddies with him. I go there to work for him and everyone else. I don't believe in befriending fellow workers either.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,436
2,423
113
#90
I view God the same way I do my employer. I don't go to work to be buddies with him. I go there to work for him and everyone else. I don't believe in befriending fellow workers either.
I'm starting to wonder: what does friendship look like to you? What does it look and feel like to you to be close to somebody?
 
Feb 20, 2016
1,154
266
83
#91
I'm starting to wonder: what does friendship look like to you? What does it look and feel like to you to be close to somebody?
I honestly don't know. No matter how hard I try, I haven't had one close friend in years. I love my family, but we aren't as close as we used to be for various reasons. And of course I've never been in a romantic relationship or even on one date. I basically can't relate to relationship theology because I just don't know what close relationships of any kind look like. I haven't experienced them.
 
T

toinena

Guest
#92
I honestly don't know. No matter how hard I try, I haven't had one close friend in years. I love my family, but we aren't as close as we used to be for various reasons. And of course I've never been in a romantic relationship or even on one date. I basically can't relate to relationship theology because I just don't know what close relationships of any kind look like. I haven't experienced them.
It took me years to think of and accepting God as a loving father. I guess I was hurt from growing up with a father that was quite cold. Now I am loving God as a child, and it was a game changer. To feel His love and be in His care is where we should be. I pray you will experience the same, sister.
 
Feb 20, 2016
1,154
266
83
#93
It took me years to think of and accepting God as a loving father. I guess I was hurt from growing up with a father that was quite cold. Now I am loving God as a child, and it was a game changer. To feel His love and be in His care is where we should be. I pray you will experience the same, sister.
Thank you. But I've been praying the same thing for a long time.
 

Enocish

Junior Member
Nov 9, 2017
129
22
18
#94
History Princess
How are you, If I may throw my 2 cents in. It sounds like you have a lot of good advice from good people. But you are in confusion, I recognize the symptoms because I have been there myself. in other subjects I still am, I have been married for 29 years, Have 5 wonderful kids. At a younger age, I was in confusion also, I had expectations based on worldly things I learned in the magazines I had hidden in my room. for a long time, I thought women could only get pregnant in the back seat of a Chevy. A phrase that was popular in my era. that may be why I'm a ford man. Anyway, what you are going through is common to most all of use. Even in the old days all the way back to eve. Sex has been viewed differently by different cultures all thru time, Most of what we understand about sex now is modern understanding, Like for instants we grew up in a time where courtship at least 2 years. ( something your story was lacking and is very important ) is a tradition that has only been within the last 100. For 1000's of years before daughters were bought and sold, it wasn't about love, it was a business transaction, Marriage is actually a business term. which is a good side study marriage traditions have changed over the years also. In the old days if a man wanted women he would show up where the women lived. Offered a pig, couple of goats, maybe a cow. then if daddy accepted, she went into the tent with a boy or man and was defloured. ( That is modern terminology. )
In Gods eyes, they were married. Also if that had not happened by the time a girl was 13 to 15, she was considered an old maid. And if she had an older sister that was not married yet, she had to be married first, There were often time if the guy wanted the middle daughter he would have to mary the older one first then he had 2 wives, Also the guy could be anywhere from 12 to infinity years old. Also if the girl was pretty and could bere children she might attract multiple suiter and then she was sold to the highest bidder. She had no choice in the matter, so marriage back then was not always pleasurable either. I am digressing, let me go on with my point. these are things I learned after I was married.
Also, I grew up in church and was taught how a gentleman was supposed to treat a woman. the 2 styles conflicted with each other. Probably the difference between worldly expectations and Christian expectation.
I ended up on the side of worldly expectation where I thought women went from virgin to vixen in the time it took her to walk to the tent. And if we stayed out of Chevys she would not get pregnant, Because of the worldly views, I had I thought girls or women were inherently weak and they were our toys to play with. So I was on the lustful side, I was so very wrong, I found that girls and women are the more powerful of the 2 sexes. They can direct a man in his ways as she desires, My first girlfriend broke up with me after 2 weeks because I didn't try to sleep with her, She said she kept dropping hints but I wasn't catching on. My next girlfriend broke up with me after 3 days because I did try to sleep with her, She did some of the same things girlfriend 1 did so I thought she wanted to. she wasn't ready and felt like I was pressuring her. I do have a point so please bear with me.
If we look at things from a worldly point of view there will be a lot of confusion and in turn, you yourself will be confused. And you are, that is how I recognized it. Because I was also. It takes one to know one. But if we turn to Gods word for clarification we come out of confusion. James is a good book for marriage. there are others but James is the most prominent. Paul says somewhere ( i can't remember now ) but he says if a man or women ( no gender included here ) can live a Godly life without burning with lust, then it is best to stay single, I found for myself I could not do that, I was damaged goods, But if not then we should get married cause its better to be married than to burn with lust. in James God says that when a Man and women get married and become HUSBAND AND WIFE. What the 2 shall agree on is acceptable in Gods eyes. The marriage bed is undefiled, The only exception to that rule is what is unnatural, Like trading with another Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve or Thelma and Louis, Those go outside the confines of a Christian marriage. Now I can't be a judge I can only offer wisdom from my experience. You need to ask God for guidance, But to me, it sounds like you should get married. But remember you are the stronger sex, and you can and will build up or destroy any man depending on how you treat him, Because the irony is we males have even less control over our sexual desires than you women, And once you learn how to use your feminine wiles. You will become a force of nature. Also, I forgot to mention in the beginning sex was for reproducing not for pleasure. It even became a business to some people. That is what is known as the oldest profession in the world. I hope I have helped. Remember there is a God in heaven and he has provided a way out for anyone. he will not put more on you than you can bear.
Thought of the day
There is nothing wrong with marriage or the sex in it, for it is better than the alternative.
Stay in our Fathersb word
 

Enocish

Junior Member
Nov 9, 2017
129
22
18
#95
One more thing you might find interesting,
Sin is a transgression of Gods law.
If you don't break Gods law, There is no sin,
Not everything is a sin,
If you have questions, see if God has a law against it,
Some things are gateway lawbreakers.
what i mean is there are no laws against it but when carried too far will lead to a breaking of the law.
Example: Lust is a sin,
looking upon and Admiring the beauty of women or man depending on the case is not a sin,
They are 2 different things that seem to get confused a lot,
There is no law against looking.
also, it is encouraged.
It is the first step in the mating process.
I know back in the day if I wasn't attracted the girl,
Instant friend zone,
Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about.
Women do the same thing all the time,
who do you think I learned it from.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#96
Instant friend zone,
Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about.
Women do the same thing all the time,
who do you think I learned it from.
Given that shes a high functioning autistic that's never been on a date and has trouble fully grasping how it works emotionally I wouldn't be at all surprised if she doesn't know what you're talking about.
 
Feb 20, 2016
1,154
266
83
#97
Given that shes a high functioning autistic that's never been on a date and has trouble fully grasping how it works emotionally I wouldn't be at all surprised if she doesn't know what you're talking about.
I do not want to use my "feminine wiles," or any of that sexist BS. I prefer to treat all people as people. Men are not animals or robots and don't have to be enslaved to their lusts. Men are going to go after women no matter what they do and what they wear. It's not about sex. It's about power. And it's sad that the first question that's often asked when a man hears about a girl someone says he should date is, "What does she look like?"

Men deserve better than all this BS "locker room" talk. I am a human being and I will be treated as such. You do not know me and you do not speak for me.

And the fact is, like I said, married people will always enjoy privileges in society and church that single people, especially those who are same-sex attracted, will never have unless they get married. How many pastors do you know of who are single? How many sermons are there about being single as opposed to marriage metaphors?

Furthermore, I agree with the traditional view of marriage, one man and one woman. But in today's American society with such poor social conditions, when you tell someone to be celibate, you might as well tell them to be lonely. Every word and every touch that sounds and looks even remotely affectionate must "mean something." The fact that parents are now questioning the role of affectionate touch in relating to their own children really should make us pause and think about how far we've gone.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
113
#98
I do not want to use my "feminine wiles," or any of that sexist BS. I prefer to treat all people as people. Men are not animals or robots and don't have to be enslaved to their lusts. Men are going to go after women no matter what they do and what they wear. It's not about sex. It's about power. And it's sad that the first question that's often asked when a man hears about a girl someone says he should date is, "What does she look like?"

Men deserve better than all this BS "locker room" talk. I am a human being and I will be treated as such. You do not know me and you do not speak for me.

And the fact is, like I said, married people will always enjoy privileges in society and church that single people, especially those who are same-sex attracted, will never have unless they get married. How many pastors do you know of who are single? How many sermons are there about being single as opposed to marriage metaphors?

Furthermore, I agree with the traditional view of marriage, one man and one woman. But in today's American society with such poor social conditions, when you tell someone to be celibate, you might as well tell them to be lonely. Every word and every touch that sounds and looks even remotely affectionate must "mean something." The fact that parents are now questioning the role of affectionate touch in relating to their own children really should make us pause and think about how far we've gone.
So you're saying women have all the power? Because men think with the little head, instead of the big one? If that's what you mean, then I agree. But I disagree that men are enslaved to lust because of it. I simply think God made it this way, so men would have motivation to make babies, or the world just hide in their cave, drink beer, build cabinets to store more tools in, and fantasize about a world in which men get to choose their mate.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#99
I do not want to use my "feminine wiles," or any of that sexist BS. I prefer to treat all people as people. Men are not animals or robots and don't have to be enslaved to their lusts. Men are going to go after women no matter what they do and what they wear. It's not about sex. It's about power. And it's sad that the first question that's often asked when a man hears about a girl someone says he should date is, "What does she look like?"

Men deserve better than all this BS "locker room" talk. I am a human being and I will be treated as such. You do not know me and you do not speak for me.

And the fact is, like I said, married people will always enjoy privileges in society and church that single people, especially those who are same-sex attracted, will never have unless they get married. How many pastors do you know of who are single? How many sermons are there about being single as opposed to marriage metaphors?

Furthermore, I agree with the traditional view of marriage, one man and one woman. But in today's American society with such poor social conditions, when you tell someone to be celibate, you might as well tell them to be lonely. Every word and every touch that sounds and looks even remotely affectionate must "mean something." The fact that parents are now questioning the role of affectionate touch in relating to their own children really should make us pause and think about how far we've gone.
90% of that has nothing to do with what I said. I was actually trying to help you. Nor was what I was attempting to help you about using "feminine wiles". I quoted (only) the part of his post where he claimed you knew all about putting guys in the friend zone. I pointed out to him reasons why his assumption could be wrong. And that's all I did.
I suggest you go back and read the part I actually quoted and my response without inserting additional words or ideas.
 
Feb 20, 2016
1,154
266
83
90% of that has nothing to do with what I said. I was actually trying to help you. Nor was what I was attempting to help you about using "feminine wiles". I quoted (only) the part of his post where he claimed you knew all about putting guys in the friend zone. I pointed out to him reasons why his assumption could be wrong. And that's all I did.
I suggest you go back and read the part I actually quoted and my response without inserting additional words or ideas.
I did, and I appreciate it. I do. I was responding to that other person, and I probably should've made that clear.