Ok, Im maybe being too desperate. I always have liked fantasizing as its a good stress relaxer. But there are several reasons besides this one fueling my desperation. Number 1 is age. Im turning 30 in November. A guy this age should already be married or in a relationship. My father married at age 28. Im 29 and havent even met a girl. If a guy has not a girlfriend before entering his thirties, his chances will decrease dramatically and will get worse the older he gets. Though, it is very likely I will be single and depressed forever. My wife will be alcohol.
Number 2 is boredom. I would probably not be thinking on this all the time if I had something to do and spend the time with. If I was for example 20, my anxiety would be lower because I have to think in my studies or in getting a job or in earning a life, a house and money. But now, I have all this. My arms are crossed now. I have not a goal now. I need to establish a goal, and therefore the 'wife' checkbox appears. And as Im lying bored in the bed desperate to flee from it, this is my only chance. The activity of married life sounds like the perfect antidote to the passivity of single life. Sometimes problems are preferable to the empty. When you are married, whenever you do not have any need, your spouse or one of your children has one. And as such, you never get bored with life. Because you do not pre-write your life. When you are single your life depends on your brain, your brain writes your life. And you always end bored. Because you have the absolute control of the moment. The only variable existing is you. And if you do nothing, nothing happens. Life is basically a synonym of you until you die.
And last but not least is number 3. It may sound strange but another motivation for my obsession is the miserable market of Christian singles we have here in Finland. Not only it is ridiculously small, but also very unequally split between the sexes. Finland is one of the few countries in the world where young males are more religious than young females. A survey revealed 27% of Finnish males between the ages of 18-27 considered themselves religious, but only 19% of Finnish females of the same age group. And we have yet to know how many of them are non-Christians, how many are fakes and especially how many are believers in pagan or occult things such as oriental beliefs or astrology since these kind of beliefs are more common in females than in males. This would be enough to reduce the proportion by over a half. Im sure the real proportion could be 5% or lower. And my personal experience confirms this. I NEVER in my life found a female of this age group in church. NEVER. NOT ONE. You said I could leave Finland and move to another country in my region. But where ? What country ? Did you know Finnish is not an Indo-European language ? Even if I moved to Norway or Sweden I would have a hard time learning and speaking the local language, not to say getting a girlfriend because girls my type dont like guys speaking like jerks, much less if they are foreigners. What about an English country ? Yes I can write it but I speak it like a 2 year old so the same is true here. If I wanted to move, Estonia would be my best chance since they speak a more similar language. Oh, but I heard Estonia was the least religious country in the world ! This is creepy. This looks like a trap. What can I do ? What ? Will I prepare myself to be a good Christian husband only to find out there are NO ANY good Christian girls out there waiting for me ? What worth will all my hard work have ? More loneliness and alcohol ? This makes me SHAKE LIKE AN EARTHQUAKE. Do you understand ? And nervousness is desperation !
Number 2 is boredom. I would probably not be thinking on this all the time if I had something to do and spend the time with. If I was for example 20, my anxiety would be lower because I have to think in my studies or in getting a job or in earning a life, a house and money. But now, I have all this. My arms are crossed now. I have not a goal now. I need to establish a goal, and therefore the 'wife' checkbox appears. And as Im lying bored in the bed desperate to flee from it, this is my only chance. The activity of married life sounds like the perfect antidote to the passivity of single life. Sometimes problems are preferable to the empty. When you are married, whenever you do not have any need, your spouse or one of your children has one. And as such, you never get bored with life. Because you do not pre-write your life. When you are single your life depends on your brain, your brain writes your life. And you always end bored. Because you have the absolute control of the moment. The only variable existing is you. And if you do nothing, nothing happens. Life is basically a synonym of you until you die.
And last but not least is number 3. It may sound strange but another motivation for my obsession is the miserable market of Christian singles we have here in Finland. Not only it is ridiculously small, but also very unequally split between the sexes. Finland is one of the few countries in the world where young males are more religious than young females. A survey revealed 27% of Finnish males between the ages of 18-27 considered themselves religious, but only 19% of Finnish females of the same age group. And we have yet to know how many of them are non-Christians, how many are fakes and especially how many are believers in pagan or occult things such as oriental beliefs or astrology since these kind of beliefs are more common in females than in males. This would be enough to reduce the proportion by over a half. Im sure the real proportion could be 5% or lower. And my personal experience confirms this. I NEVER in my life found a female of this age group in church. NEVER. NOT ONE. You said I could leave Finland and move to another country in my region. But where ? What country ? Did you know Finnish is not an Indo-European language ? Even if I moved to Norway or Sweden I would have a hard time learning and speaking the local language, not to say getting a girlfriend because girls my type dont like guys speaking like jerks, much less if they are foreigners. What about an English country ? Yes I can write it but I speak it like a 2 year old so the same is true here. If I wanted to move, Estonia would be my best chance since they speak a more similar language. Oh, but I heard Estonia was the least religious country in the world ! This is creepy. This looks like a trap. What can I do ? What ? Will I prepare myself to be a good Christian husband only to find out there are NO ANY good Christian girls out there waiting for me ? What worth will all my hard work have ? More loneliness and alcohol ? This makes me SHAKE LIKE AN EARTHQUAKE. Do you understand ? And nervousness is desperation !
