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I am honestly getting the biggest chuckle out of this thread, and wish to thank all of you for your contributions that have given me reason to laugh - something I don't do very often.
As much as I am honestly flattered at the hypothetical matches, I am not the type of guy any good Christian woman would want anything to do with. I'm aging poorly; I'm angry all the time; I'm a recovering alcoholic; I'm celibate/asexual; I'm a loner; all my previous relationships were dumpster fires; I've got more issues to deal with than any 1000 people can possibly resolve in their lifetimes.
...and I've got a dissertation to write and a research project to defend in October. Jon ain't got no time for none of that dating jibber jabber.
Well, dating isn't married. So just keep the idea of you two under your hat. Thank you for the compliment. It is appreciated. I think you are gorgeous.