A Husband's role
- Thread starter Fenner
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To put it really simply, it is the Christian husband's role to love, serve, protect, and provide for his wife and his children to the best of his ability. He is both a leader and a servant because in Scripture the two are synonymous. He does not demand respect with his words, but invites it with his actions. Simply by his loving leadership should his wife be compelled to follow, rather than out of begrudging submission at his command.
I find it unbelievably frustrating when I hear of husbands using Scripture to force their wives into submitting. I absolutely hate it. It is NOT the husband's role to make sure his wife is submitting. And it's because of stupid men like that that the roles assigned to men and women in the Bible come across as unfair or degrading.
The reality is that it isn't sinful for men and women to walk outside of the roles God has laid out for us in the Bible, however the people in those marriages that aren't built upon that foundation aren't going to experience marriage in the fullness of joy that would exist in one that is built about that foundation. The Bible gives us a picture in many different ways of God's good design for biblical manhood and womanhood and His good design for marriage. There are some that might think that people who are complementarians and get married exist in a marriage where the husband dominates the wife and the wife shuts up, that couldn't be farther from the truth in the types of marriages I have witnessed. A true biblical complementarian marriage is one where the husband loves and honor and serves his wife to the best of his ability and seeks to lead and encourage and build up his family spiritually while the wife loves and honors and serves her husband by trusting in his leadership as he trusts in God.
Sorry if I came across harsh in any of this, but I really am passionate about this subject. I can't stand all the misconceptions that people tend to have, but they largely tend to happen because people (men especially) will stand on one verse while ignoring the rest of the Bible, and all I want to do is cut their legs out from under them and make them realize how much harm they're doing. [/rant]
I find it unbelievably frustrating when I hear of husbands using Scripture to force their wives into submitting. I absolutely hate it. It is NOT the husband's role to make sure his wife is submitting. And it's because of stupid men like that that the roles assigned to men and women in the Bible come across as unfair or degrading.
The reality is that it isn't sinful for men and women to walk outside of the roles God has laid out for us in the Bible, however the people in those marriages that aren't built upon that foundation aren't going to experience marriage in the fullness of joy that would exist in one that is built about that foundation. The Bible gives us a picture in many different ways of God's good design for biblical manhood and womanhood and His good design for marriage. There are some that might think that people who are complementarians and get married exist in a marriage where the husband dominates the wife and the wife shuts up, that couldn't be farther from the truth in the types of marriages I have witnessed. A true biblical complementarian marriage is one where the husband loves and honor and serves his wife to the best of his ability and seeks to lead and encourage and build up his family spiritually while the wife loves and honors and serves her husband by trusting in his leadership as he trusts in God.
Sorry if I came across harsh in any of this, but I really am passionate about this subject. I can't stand all the misconceptions that people tend to have, but they largely tend to happen because people (men especially) will stand on one verse while ignoring the rest of the Bible, and all I want to do is cut their legs out from under them and make them realize how much harm they're doing. [/rant]
B
Yours Truly was in 10th grade when Shakespeare was studied. Since then, the following section has been one of my favorite writing of Shakespeare. Enjoy! 
KATE: Fie, fie, unknit that threat'ning unkind brow
And dart not scornful glances from those eyes
To wound thy lord, thy king, thy governor.
...
Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper,
Thy head, thy sovereign; one that cares for thee
And for thy maintenance; commits his body
To painful labor both by sea and land,
To watch the night in storms, the day in cold,
Whilst thou li'st warm at home, secure and safe;
And craves no other tribute at thy hands
But love, fair looks, and true obedience--
Too little payment for so great a debt.
Such duty as the subject owes the prince,
Even such a woman oweth to her husband;
...
The Taming of the Shrew
Act V, scene ii
By, William Shakespeare, 1590
KATE: Fie, fie, unknit that threat'ning unkind brow
And dart not scornful glances from those eyes
To wound thy lord, thy king, thy governor.
...
Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper,
Thy head, thy sovereign; one that cares for thee
And for thy maintenance; commits his body
To painful labor both by sea and land,
To watch the night in storms, the day in cold,
Whilst thou li'st warm at home, secure and safe;
And craves no other tribute at thy hands
But love, fair looks, and true obedience--
Too little payment for so great a debt.
Such duty as the subject owes the prince,
Even such a woman oweth to her husband;
...
The Taming of the Shrew
Act V, scene ii
By, William Shakespeare, 1590
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B
Sorry if I came across harsh in any of this, but I really am passionate about this subject. I can't stand all the misconceptions that people tend to have, but they largely tend to happen because people (men especially) will stand on one verse while ignoring the rest of the Bible, and all I want to do is cut their legs out from under them and make them realize how much harm they're doing. [/rant]
Let's be fair! It takes two to tango and two 'cooperating' adults to make it work. What I am seeing is an angle to hold men responsible to an higher degree. The Women Movement wanted women on the same playing field as men and strived to take away men's leadership role in the household to accomplish the mission. Translation: women are 'equally to blame for a dysfunctional marriage.' To hold men accountable for OT standard that don't work in 2014 is just another application of "double standards."
In reality, the MW has redefined what marriage is and the courts has virtually upheld the changes. And we wonder why many or most men won't marry. In reality, the marriage standards today reflects the "double standards" to so called make such relationships "equal."
Let's be fair! It takes two to tango and two 'cooperating' adults to make it work. What I am seeing is an angle to hold men responsible to an higher degree. The Women Movement wanted women on the same playing field as men and strived to take away men's leadership role in the household to accomplish the mission. Translation: women are 'equally to blame for a dysfunctional marriage.' To hold men accountable for OT standard that don't work in 2014 is just another application of "double standards."
In reality, the MW has redefined what marriage is and the courts has virtually upheld the changes. And we wonder why many or most men won't marry. In reality, the marriage standards today reflects the "double standards" to so called make such relationships "equal."
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B
Understood ... but we need to hold both genders accountable and equal regardless of their roles. I grew up very poor and watch so many women go the plate and bat for men/husband because they were weak and lazy. At the same time I watch women who did not take care of their husbands & children. Marriages can't work smoothly unless both genders contribute equally. Both are sinners and fall far short of God's perfection. I can't help but to see some underlying 'bitterness' and a flair of feminism from some female posters because their marriages & relationships didn't work.
B
but I don't see why it's wrong to state that men aren't perfect either.
I think it is the Christian way to be neutral to preserve the peace. It is no secret that some women posters feel comfortable criticizing men but deeply offended when we criticize women. I believe we call it the "double standards."
I think it is the Christian way to be neutral to preserve the peace. It is no secret that some women posters feel comfortable criticizing men but deeply offended when we criticize women. I believe we call it the "double standards."
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As a man, I worry about the men. I'll let women worry about themselves.
And biscuit, by calling out "some women" who you think are a little too "feminist" for your tastes by taking a potshot at their past marriage troubles and by turning accusations away from yourself and towards others, I hardly think you're attempting to keep the peace. Due to that fact, I will no longer be responding to your posts.
And biscuit, by calling out "some women" who you think are a little too "feminist" for your tastes by taking a potshot at their past marriage troubles and by turning accusations away from yourself and towards others, I hardly think you're attempting to keep the peace. Due to that fact, I will no longer be responding to your posts.
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M
I prefer he use neutrality to get his point across. If not, then I will hold him accountable.
Ooook, I can't play nice in this thread anymore (go figure, I predicted a war zone, and here I'm firing shots). I'm out. I'm gonna go sit in the corner. G'day.
P.s. Nice post, Chandler. Truth, yo.